<p>Do people put too much importance on getting every detail right on a project or task</p>
<p>In our society, the most successful people put the most effort and precision into their work. A surfeit of examples from history and personal experience show this.</p>
<p>A few centuries ago, when our founding fathers were drafting the constitution, they made sure that the language of the constitution was as precise as possible. They painstakingly included every period and every comma to ensure that our country would be run the way they conceived. Had they lacklusterly written the constitution, paying little attention to the grammar and meaning, our country wouldn't be the way it is today. Perhaps the people would erronously interpret what the founding fathers meant. </p>
<p>Although not nearly as pivotal in our country's history, in Ceramics class the teacher urges us to be exacting in our craftmanship. When assigned a project we carefully plan out our ideas, diligently calculating the depth of the foot and the height of the rim. When adding texture to our artwork we meticulously carve in our florid designs. If we were to pay little attention to the details of our artwork would lack beauty. As an artist, I value precision and careful planning. </p>
<p>When Albert Einstein was writing his manifesto in special relativity, he made sure that all of the mathematical symbols were correct. Had he left out certain symbols his work would have lost all clearity, and future readers would not be able to comprehend his work. Organization and precision are essential elements for communication, and without them we would be lost.</p>
<p>After a careful analysis of ceramics, the constitution, and Albert Einstein's manifesto it is evident that precision is indeed crucial for success. Einstein's powerful thesis, without precision, would have become recondite information in the vast expanse of the scientific sphere.</p>
<p>Bad introduction, weak conclusion, childish examples, unnecessary (and equivocal) prose, bad transitioning into paragraphs, very short length (barely enough to fill the first page).</p>
<p>Probably 9-10
You need to expand your introduction. Add a couple of sentences and state your thesis.
Your examples are fine- you need transistions between 2nd and 3rd examples. Also your conclusion is short not to mention the real conlclusion is somewhat hidden. Bring it out with proper balance in sentence.</p>
<p>^ Let’s not sugercoat. With those kind of mistakes, this essay would barely get a 5 or 6. I know, because my brother’s written real essays and I’ve seen how they’ve gotten graded in the exams.</p>
<p>I doubt it is a 5 or 6… I got an 8 last time and it was worse than this. And how are those childish examples…? Someone has a stick up their ***.</p>
<p>Anyway, the first time I took the SAT (early 7th grade) I got a 7/12 on the essay with no constructive examples of 5 paragraph format, so this would definitely score above that. Probably and 8 or 9. </p>
<p>I personally disagree with your first example, because the constitution was written rather ambiguously in places (ex. elastic clause), but whatever. </p>
<p>I would probably: reorder the examples chronologically (i.e. founding fathers, Einstein, ceramics), add your method of development in the intro, move the Einstein sentence from the conclusion to the Einstein paragraph. and add some fluff to the conclusion (and other parts too, the graders like long essays) about what the world can learn from precision. Et voila!</p>