Please grade this essay?

Test Preparation
1

<p>Hi
Can you please grade this essay? It doesn't matter if you scale it 0-6 or 0-12.
But could you please provide some critique</p>

<p>[Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
Many persons believe that to move up the ladder of success and achievement, they must forget the past, repress it, and relinquish it. But others have just the opposite view. They see old memories as a chance to reckon with the past and integrate past and present.
Adapted from Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, I've known rivers: Lives of loss and liberation</p>

<p>Assignment: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write.]</p>

<p>I will copy the essay directly, but some words that I would've fixed if I went over are bracketed.
Memories neither exclusively hinder [or] help people in their efforts to succeed. The way memories are used by people are the deciding factors as to how beneficial they may be. The same memory by two people can be interpreted differently and ultimately produce different outcomes for them.
For example[] if two people[,] one child and one adult see [the same scene], both can react differently. The child would remember and learn from it whereas the adult may intervene, and learn less. To the child, it is a new experience. To the adult[;] his/her view of the world has been violated; the wrong must be righted.
Perhaps in the future, both these two meet again. The child's world will have been shaped by [it]. It may even make him stronger (now that he is at least somewhat older). The adult however may still not accept it as reality, because he/she chose to right the wrong, [ ] which had violated his/her world view.
Sometimes politicians are very interesting people. Their backgrounds may have been shaped by events they witnessed during their childhoods, and today they are political leaders.
Memories never take a side themselves. Children are vastly, shaped by memories. That is why during the 1700s parents were so insistent upon bringing their children to explore the world. Accepting memories as reality is what is important, not choosing selectively, or manipulating them [ .]</p>

<p>Of course the paragraph breaks look strange on type but in paper they look a lot more sensible. I filled up one page and 3.5 lines spilling over.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>Too generic, you need to tie this into some kind of personal experience. </p>

3

<p>Okay thanks, but could you please give it a grade?</p>

4

<p>I’m not much of a qualified grader, but I can’t see this getting more than a 5. And no, you don’t have to use personal experience. I would give it a 4.</p>

<p>I would entirely redo the way you approach the SAT essay.</p>

<p>Whats the question?
-Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present?</p>

<p>Let’s see the points you made…</p>

<p>1.Some people (esp. children?) learn from experience, whilst some people don’t learn from experience.
2.Politicians can be interesting.
3.Politicians are affected by their childhood.
4.Children are shaped by their childood.
5.Children in the 1700s were encouraged to explore the world.
6.It’s important to accept memories for what they are and not manipulate or selectively choose them.</p>

<p>Your thesis: Memory can help or hinder people, dependent on the way it’s used.</p>

<p>What points support your thesis? 1. 6 could be tied back into 1.</p>

<p>1 hypothetical, unclear, straddling point will not be sufficient to support a thesis. </p>

<p>I’m not sure whether straddling a prompt is advised (someone else can tell you), but if you really want to do that you NEED SUPPORT.</p>