<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one's thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.
J. David Velleman</p>
<h1>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</h1>
<p>People should not make more of an effort to maintain their privacyto the contrary, the sincere expression of emotions is integral to maintaining stable and fulfilling relationships with those who matter. Concealing the truth often impedes relationships and deprives the concealer of the ability to cope with these emotions.
One example of the effects of such excessive privacy is J. D. Salingers Catcher in the Rye. In this novel, protagonist Holden Caulfield constantly expresses his discontent with the phony and insincere society around him. Holden, left without any close personal relationships, gets himself expelled from boarding school and attempts to come to terms with himself and the world through self-destructive behavior such as hiring a prostitute and drinking at bars. An examination of what should have been one of Holdens most important relationshipthat with his parentsreveals an inability to communicate sincerely. In describing his parents to the reader, Holden can only describe them as nice yet phony. When his beloved brother Allie dies, his parents do not attempt to discuss the familys losseven after a hurt and disillusioned Holden refuses to come out of the garage. Holden and his parents inability to express and acknowledge one and anothers feelings is one of the main reasons for Holdens inability to function in society.
Another example of the importance of sincerity is Junes relationship with her mother in The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan. June is a Chinese-American girl whose mother pressures her to compete. June has always felt inferior to others and feels hurt when her mother compares her to others. June and her mother are also unable to communicate effectivelyperhaps because the wide cultural gap between June, who has grown up in America, and her mother, who faced a difficult life due to political unrest, poverty, and war in China. When her mother dies, June finds it difficult to understand the legacy she has left her daughter. June tries to find this legacy by learning about her mothers past, discovering much that her mother had been keeping private, including a pair of twin half-siblings her mother was forced to abandon. This excessive privacy led to the resentfulness that Waverly sometimes feels towards her mother, as well as the excessive pressure her mother unknowingly put of her.
As Catcher in the Rye and The Joy Luck Club reveal, without frank and effective communication, relationships often become strained and resentful. Though privacy may also be important in relationships, excessive privacy may engender the lack of understanding and resentment found in these two characters lives.</p>