<p>DebateMom: I went through the same thing a few years ago on the other end. When my parents dropped me off at school, I don’t think I ever begged to be taken home (I knew that wasn’t really an option), but I think I called once every few hours for the first few days. It’s especially hard now, because everything is new and he doesn’t have any friends yet. Remind him that everyone else is in the same position. As hard as it is (and I know, I was painfully shy), tell him to invite other guys in the dorm to dinner. For the first few weeks I always went to dinner with the other girls in my dorm so we wouldn’t have to walk in alone and so we’d have someone to sit with. Lunch was slightly tougher for me, because none of the new girls in my dorm shared my lunch period. Until I met people, I just picked a random table and sat down. After a week of doing this, sitting down with a table of strangers didn’t bother me at all. Since everyone at the school was either new or was new recently and knew what it was like, they were very understanding and I met a lot of great people that way. Both of these are easy ways to make friends. Joining clubs is also good as is going to events on the weekend. Even if an event does not sound particularly interesting, he should go to meet people. The same goes for invitations. Never turn down an invitation to go somewhere or do something (within reason, of course). It’s something to do and is good for meeting people. Other suggestions: Have him get people to study together for that first big test. Have him call a random person from class with a homework question. Have him invite guys to hang out in his room after sign-in (or go hang out in some other guy’s room). Inviting a few guys to watch a movie is an especially good one. There’s no obligation to talk, but they can if they want to. It’s one of the easiest ways to become more comfortable with people. Once he has a group of people he feels comfortable calling to go to meals or to other events, he’ll feel a lot more comfortable and I bet you’ll get more “guess what I did today” calls rather than “please take me home” calls. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, this will only last about a month or two. Most of my fellow new upper friends made it to mid-October and then we all crashed as one. We had each other to lean on by this point and that helped, but around mid-October the work is heavy, it’s getting colder, and not everything is new and exciting anymore. At this point there’s not a lot you can do. It just takes adjusting. Make sure your son knows where all the academic support facilities are on campus, because the better a handle he has on his work, the easier it will be. Remind him to have fun, because that will help too. But that tends to be the low point and everything will go uphill from there. By Christmas break, he’ll probably miss the people he’s become close to. Unfortunately, it’s still hard for most people to come back after Christmas break, because in early January, it’s a long, cold shot to Spring break. On the plus side, January/February is usually the time when people realize which of those random acquaintances from fall term become real friends. That helps a ton. By spring break, he probably won’t be able to wait to get back to school. The bottom line is, yes, it’s really hard now and although it will be a blast at times, it will probably still be hard for awhile. But your son knew what he was doing when he chose to go to this school and those reasons still exist, as hard as they may be to see now. I’m willing to bet that if your son sticks it out, he’ll absolutely love the school in a few months. </p>
<p>I almost forgot, most schools have upperclassmen serving as proctors or prefects in each of the dorms. You might want to consider talking to one of them about your son’s homesickness. They tend to be a bit more hands on than school administrators and should be trained to deal with situations like this. </p>
<p>Old1: Yes, limiting direct contact will probably allow students to adjust faster, but what a hard way to do it! Personally, I’d rather adjust more slowly while still talking to my parents. But sending packages and letters is still a great idea. Most students at my school checked their mail at least once a day. It was very heartening to find a care package or letter there.</p>