On May 1st I made my college decision and decided that I was going to James Madison University which is 5 hours away from home. I felt relieved and excited. I remember feeling like I made the right choice and that by choosing this college I was going to become more independant and outgoing. I’m now, 2 months later, questioning my decision. I went to orientation for my college 2 days ago and I’m just realizing how much I’m going to miss my family. Driving there and back made me realize how far of a drive it is and how I’m not going to be able to visit home very often. I’m very close with my family and they’re the only people I feel like I can truly be myself around since I’m really shy and have a hard time opening up. I’m going to miss my mom, dad, 2 sisters, and dog so much. I’m also going to miss my bedroom. My little sister who’s 11 keeps saying that she’s going to take over my room when I go away to college. I don’t want to permanently move out though. I’m afraid that when I come back home for the summer everything will be different and I won’t be as close to my family. I’m pretty much having a mental breakdown right now. I only have 55 more days until move in day. Once if I don’t make any friends that I feel I can be myself around? Please help!
No.
Go read some stuff about dealing with pre-college anxiety. You’d probably be having the same anxieties no matter what school you had chosen (because many students every year have the same fears you’re expressing)
Don’t worry! I am also an introvert, and I had a lot of these same fears before starting high school/going to summer camps. Trust me, soon you’ll meet lots of new people and will miss home less. It would also probably help to join lots of activities to stay busy.
Super common.
I think you should wait at least one semester before you decide to transfer. Then you will have spent some time at the school, and possibly made some friends or acquaintances.
And make sure your family knows that you want to keep your room.
Almost every one of those same fears would be the same if you were going to the college 50 miles away and dorming there. Pretty much NONE of your worries have anything to do with your choice of schools.
Here’s the good part: no part of this decision has to be final. If you find you hate it, you can always transfer to a local school, or to a smaller school, or to a school closer to home.
OK, now as far as all those worries go: deep breaths. What your 11 year old sister says may not necessarily be what mom and dad have in mind!! (And you KNOW that!!!) Sure, mom may have said they’ll let her sleep in your bed for a few nights… probably because the house will feel empty without you at first, and your 11 year old sister will miss you. That doesn’t mean it will be like the commercial on TV, where they eliminate all but the kid’s bed in order to remodel the kitchen while he’s away at school. Your room and your belongings will all be safe while you’re away.
Think of how many people you communicate with on a daily basis-- there’s no reason to think you won’t still be close to your family. (I’m at work all day long; it doesn’t mean I’m not close to my husband and kids, right?? It’s not about being in the same room or the same building.) You can call and text and email and Skype. My siblings are all adults, and we’re all married and live in different homes in different towns; it doesn’t mean that we’re not close.
Your fears are all normal–this is a brand new experience for you and that’s always a time for our fears to feel overwhelming.
I go to school 6 1/2 hours from home. It’s a heck of a drive, but it’s entirely doable to visit for the holidays and long weekends. Being within that distance, there will probably be a lot of other students from your general area who you can carpool with; the drive goes a lot faster with people to talk to! You CAN make friends without being super social: join just one club that piques your interest, make a point to eat in the dining hall, find someone on your floor who you have a class with and study together, etc. As far as your sister wanting to take over your room, tell her to slow her roll- you’re not fully leaving the nest just yet. Good luck, and enjoy JMU!