I’m not from the US and no one in my family went to college, so my parents couldn’t help much in the process and I feel lost. My senior year was hectic, I had many unnormal and lifechanging things happen to me personally and in my family. I committed to Ga Southern. But now, I don’t feel like I connect with my roommates as much as we may just get along, my ex is going and we just broke up, but the main thing that’s really getting to me is I’m not sure about the school itself since I never got to tour and my gut is strongly saying the atmosphere might just not be for me. I won’t have my family near if thats all true, and I’m now falling apart. The stress is getting to me. Because of COVID-19, the other schools that are options are KSU and FL Atlantic because the deadline to commit got pushed back. I know I already committed but I’m having serious doubts and I don’t know if that’s normal.
I know uncommitting and committing to a different school may be an awful idea this late. I also havent seen many positive things about transferring. My options are going to KSU and living at home/doing random roommates. Considering I have lots of friends going, I know I’ll have friends and maybe I’ll have time to figure out where I want to go if it’s not there, in a safer space. It wasnt my ideal because it doesn’t feel much like I’m going to college since its so close to home and because of the campus.
The other option is moving with my parents to FL and going to FL Atlantic, but I’d have to live at home and I have a feeling I won’t make any friends due to that since I don’t know anyone prior to and I won’t live on campus. We all love FL, wanted to move there and the school seems really nice. But socially im not the most confident and I’m afraid if I cant live on campus, I won’t make close friends. This year I didn’t get to tour anywhere because my mom got so ill and I couldn’t travel with my dad and leave her at home, and then corona happened once she began getting better… I just have felt so terrible and lost and I feel like I completely failed at my first adult decision. I’m still unsure and I don’t know what to do. My parents both have their biased choice but I just want to go in the path where ill feel most comfortable and happiest but I have no clue what that path is and I’m so afraid I have made/am making the wrong decision.
First of all - take a deep breath.
Now take another.
Now, congratulations on having great choices.
You have not made a mistake. You have not messed up, and, at 18, not having a clues as to your path in life is the norm, not an exception.
You have graduated high school and you have been accepted to a number of good colleges. So you are already ahead in the game. Whatever happens now, you will attend a good college, finish with a BA or BS, and get a decent job.
Keep calm… Despite what many people say, college is just another small part of your life, and you don’t have to have the Perfect College Experience in order to enjoy college, benefit from college, and do well in life.
A few questions:
Where do you live? I am having some difficulty in parsing your situation. I understand that you have just met your roommate from Georgia Southern online, and haven’t spent much time with them, so you are not sure whethe ryou will actually get along with them.
There are three KSUs, one in Georgia, one in Ohio, and one in Kansas. Which one do you mean?
Why would your parents move with you to Florida? That seems a bit overmuch.
OK, chill just a bit. What you are going through is normal for a high school senior and many kids are going through the same, with the uncertainty of COVID thrown in.
I’m assuming you are in Atlanta (used to live there) and that KSU is Kennesaw State.
Personally, I would stick it out and go to Georgia Southern. My neighbor out here in California is a rocket scientist (aerospace) who went there and another neighbor also went there. They seem to have done well in their careers. It’s a school of about 20,000 so there will undoubtedly be new people to meet, even if you don’t want to run into your ex. And if you don’t get along with your roommates, there will be others in the dorm, clubs, Greek life, classes, etc to meet.
Try driving down there and around the campus, even if it’s on your own and just for the day. It will probably help you get over your anxiety.
As for Florida Atlantic, it seems like mostly a commuter school, when I visited in January. It’s fine for many, but will you get the full college experience? That’s invaluable.
You have a lot of changes happening in your life, and none of this is life or death. This will be the first time in your life you are on your own, and that’s good for you, as compared to KSU. I was 10 hours away from home, and I got used to it. You will grow a lot as a person by being on your own. But you are never too far away, and can go home on a long weekend if you are feeling like you need it.
It will likely work out great, but if not, you can always transfer. But like I said, it should work out well for you.
My parents want to eventually move and retire in FL and have for years, it isn’t all for me. If I stay in Georgia, they may wait because my brother is happy where he’s about to go to high school and my sister too. We live half an hour from KSU, in Georgia. I would most likely live on campus if it comes to it. I didn’t mean to be dramatic, I was overwhelmed. But the year in itself has been a lot and I don’t know if Ga southern will serve as the right environment for me anymore. I want to grow independent and as a person and it may sound dumb but I feel like I’m not ready to completely throw myself out there. I somewhat like the idea of going to KSU, studying, getting a job, making new friends, being with old ones, and being with my family during my first year while I figure myself out. I was thinking maybe during the year I’ll tour Florida schools and find one with a nice nursing program that I love and am sure about. And after a year I’ll transfer or maybe after 2 years since at that point I’ll need to apply and enter a nursing program anyhow. I just want to be okay and to be ready. I’m just not sure if that is a smart plan or if this is just me being doubtful in myself right now. I don’t have anyone else to go to with experience and I want to make sure I make the right decision for myself so that I end up happy.
Your last line reminded me of a statement I heard Matthew McConaughey make in a commencement speech (online):
<<<happiness is="" an="" emotional="" response="" to="" outcome="" —="" if="" i="" win="" will="" be="" happy,="" don’t="" won’t.="" if-then,="" cause="" and="" effect,="" quid="" pro="" quo="" standard="" that="" we="" cannot="" sustain="" because="" immediately="" raise="" it="" every="" time="" attain="" it.="" …="" joy="" “the="" feeling="" have="" from="" doing="" what="" are="" fashioned="" do,”="" no="" matter="" the="" outcome.="">>>
You are having really, really understandable cold feet. This is reasonable in a normal year- and this isn’t even close to a normal year.
So, let’s back it up a bit:
- The goal of college is to prepare you for your adult life, both academically and in becoming independent. GaSouthern has everything you need to accomplish that goal. You made a good, sound choice, based on the best information available to you at the time. There is no new information that changes that! Adult choices are rarely simple, and hardly ever come with full information. So: well done!
- The Insta vision of college- parties! new best friends! independence! football games! romance! etc, etc- is (like most things Insta) more unreal than real. Those things may all happen- but they won't look or feel much like what you've heard or seen. Real life is almost always messier and more confusing while you are living it.
- Will your roomie be your bff? in real life, probably not. Yes, it happens. Yes, in the first couple of weeks roommates/suitemates/hallmates tend to hold on to each other in something that looks like friendship- but it’s not. Real friendship- as you already sense- take time to grow. Maybe some of those people will end up being good friends- but most likely not. The real goal is to have a roommate with whom you co-exist reasonably peacefully. Anything else is a bonus.
Have some confidence in yourself: you are doing a great job, and you are well able for this next step- which on different days will be confusing, exhilarating, hard, funny, scary, happy, boring, easy, exhausting- in other words: life.
First off, there is a good chance that you won’t be living with that roomie at GA Southern this fall because the dorms won’t be open and you will be attending all of your classes online. So the real question is, since it is likely that you are going to be an online student for this fall (and possibly for all/most of the 2020-2021 year), which program has the courses and support that you need. You have time to find out from your HS friends who ended up at KSU and at GA Southern what they think about how each of those places has handled the pandemic so far. Are the professors adapting well? Does the Blackboard system function appropriately? What support systems has the university put into place to help students who are struggling with the distance format? Check each of the university websites to find out what each of them has to say for itself. Since you are currently interested in Nursing, contact that department at each of these universities, and find out what they have to say about teaching and learning during the pandemic. What are their plans for an appropriate mix of distance and face-to-face instruction?
There is a ton of wisdom here. @N15267 soak this in. College tends be a lot messier than the glossy brochures, but then again, so is life. The best way you can grow is by experiencing new things, even (and especially) the ones that make you uncomfortable. This way, when you find yourself in the future in uncomfortable situations (which is unavoidable in life), you can say to yourself, “I got this one.” That’s based on your ability to handle new situations from ones you have already overcome. Confidence comes from experience.
College in a college town allows you to gain the experience in a relatively safe environment. You won’t likely gain this from living at home and commuting in, or taking the safe choice like KSU, unless you are truly on your own and “cut the umbilical cord”.