please help, i'm depressed

These are only my freshman year stats, but please help me. I have been struggling through anxiety and depression lately, to the point where I now see a counselor, outside of school. I always feel like I am in the shadow of my parents, even though I have the same grades as them while they were in high school. I have been anxious and depressed because of the pressure to get into my dream school, UCLA. Please help me, and tell me if I still have a chance to get into UCLA. I am white, and come from an upper-class family.

I attend the #1 high school of my state (very rigorous), and it is ranked top 10 in the USA. With these stats, do I still have a chance to get into UCLA?

1st Semester: 4.275 weighted, 3.765 unweighted
2nd Semester: undetermined

3 honors classes (out of 5).

For extracurriculars, I take part in 3 clubs. 2 of them are community service clubs, and one of them is a club that helps high school kids with special needs. I only play one sport as of freshman year, but I am playing 3 next year. Also, I am hoping to join Key Club, and National Honors Society next year, as I can’t in freshman year.

I know most get mad when freshman are on here, but please help me out, I am at a terrible place right now because of stress (no alcohol/drugs, just depression and anxiety). If you have any other questions, let me know!

Without an SAT score, who knows. Grades look OK/a bit low, but youre a freshman so who knows how your grades will turn out. Regardless, you can use the rogerhub UC gpa calculator to figure out your UC GPA (it will be highly inccurate though, due to the fact that you are literally 1.5 semesters into high school). Are you in-state?

OUS, I can afford it though. This year I have just been trying to get by (proud for getting all A’s and B’s without studying, plus they’re honors classes). From now on, I am going to study, and should get all A’s. If I do get all A’s from here, do you think I still have a chance? @beepybeetle

I also volunteer at animal shelters a lot, they make me happy :slight_smile:

@SchoolFreakLol Yeah if you can pull off all As with lots of AP courses and a good SAT score, you’ll have a decent shot at UCLA

Thank you, do you think joining NHS and Key Club will help as well? @beepybeetle

In order to get the attention of admissions when you apply, it would be helpful if your essays reflect a particular interest that you have pursued on your own. If this interest relates directly to your planned college major, all the better. NHS and Key Club are nice because joining them shows sociability and interest in doing service. But having a particular interest (a sort of theme for your application) might be even more important.

In my life I have seen many times when kids developed particular interests mainly because an adult took the time to mentor them while they were young. Often the mentor is a parent with a particular expertise, or sometimes a teacher, or sometimes just a friend. In my opinion, all parents should attempt to tutor and mentor their kids in their own area of expertise, if they have one, in order to give them an advantage and head start. Even if the kids end up in a different area of study, it often gives them a boost in some indirect way, such as instilling self-confidence. Kids should not be allowed to feel that they are in the shadow of their parents. They should instead have the feeling of being buoyed up by them.

I’m pretty sure I want to major in electrical engineering, but I don’t know how I would relate my essays to that. I was thinking about writing my essay about my childhood disease, Perthes. I wasn’t supposed to play any sports, and now I am playing multiple contact sports. Or maybe how I love animals, and I volunteer at the SPCA and other shelters. How could I relate my essay to something with engineering?? @BunnyBlue

Having a dream school is great but is it worth all the stress you are putting on yourself? It breaks my heart that you are feeling this way as a freshman.

Don’t spend your high school years packaging yourself for UCLA, or any college for that matter. Use this time to explore your interests. If you find something you like, get involved and stay involved. Keep your grades up, and yes, study. These 4 years in high school are just as important as any 4 years of your life. Enjoy them.

@Tinijocaro @suzy100 Thank you so much guys, my counselor always tells me that. Although I wish I could just forget about UCLA and go with the flow, I find it near impossible for me to dismiss my thoughts. Thank you so much for the support, it means a lot.

I haven’t read the other comments but I’m going to give you my advice, and I’m a senior at UCLA. I like to talk a lot so I imagine this is going to be fairly long, buckle your seat belts.

-Colleges put the least weight on your freshman and senior year grades. Your most important years are 10th and 11th. I think they more or less exclude freshman year because some middle schools include 9th grade. Having good grades your freshman year will help, sure, but don’t kill yourself over it. Senior year is a joke, trust me, have fun, don’t get C’s or anything like that but don’t stress.

-You have essays. UCLA and Cal are the two UC’s who give essays the most attention (especially Cal). There are two graders, both need to say yes.

-SAT Scores: definitely need to be over 2000. Try to keep them fairly consistent. Example: I got a 800 critical reading, 720 writing, and 600 math and universities apparently HATE that. They’d rather people have 700s across the board than a perfect score with a huge 200 point discrepancy to another subject like mine. 600 in math is a pretty respectable score, but next to my 800 CR it looks like I’m a dumbass in math. But it’s totally my fault because I didn’t study for it, don’t do that. Buy a book and actually do it, especially in your weakest subject.

-Do they still require subject tests? Look this up. I didn’t know that they wanted 2 SAT subject tests until my senior year and had to take them last minute. Take the subject tests for AP classes you take and take the subject test around the same time as the AP exam. Even if they don’t require that you take the subject tests I would recommend doing them anyway. You don’t need to put in any studying for the tests beyond the preparation you’ve done for the AP exam, and take them ASAP while your knowledge is still fresh. Example: if you take APUSH then take the American History subject test in June of that year.

-AP subjects I highly recommend:
AP World
APUSH
AP English (both years, but if you get a 5 junior year then don’t bother taking the test senior year)
AP Science (at least one, I took AP Chemistry. I would avoid AP Physics unless they’ve reformatted the class since I’ve graduated like they’ve reformatted AP Chemistry)
AP Math (I recommend stats, I never took calculus but my friends did not have a good experience)

Do yourself a favor a buy an AP psychology prep book, study it, and take the test w/o taking the class. Easiest 5 on an AP exam I ever got and didn’t suffer through a year of papers like my friends did.

-UCLA posts the statistics of who they accept btw. It’s super convenient and I think they’re the only UC that does this for undergrad.

-Stay in your clubs. Get a leadership position in these clubs.

-Why the hell are you joining 3 sports. Stop it. Stop it now. As someone who did 3 sports (swim, water polo, dance - and yes dance is a sport) in high school, I can’t stress how exhausting that is. My grades suffered because of it. If you think playing 3 sports next year is going to increase your chances of getting in then I hate to burst that bubble but no, and it will probably hurt you if you’re already struggling academically (which I disagree with that statement but if that’s how you feel). Play one you really like. Two if you’re like me and stubborn. I only know one person who played 3 sports at my high school and got into UCLA, or any top school for that matter, and that’s because of athletics…and she’s an OLYMPIAN.

-Please enjoy yourself. You’re so young, there’s no reason you should be placing so much emphasis on getting into a school. Keep it a priority, sure, but it shouldn’t dictate your life. You’re going to burn yourself out before you even get to college and trust me, that’s not pretty.

And, don’t forget:

COMMUNITY COLLEGE FAM.

It’s the best way to get into UCLA I kid you not. It’s how I got in. Sure I took a million and one AP classes and had ECs for days in high school but the lovely, lovely UC system was like “we got you a dollar” (but actually, not even) when financial aid packages rolled around so I went the CC route instead. (For the record, I was accepted into UCSB and UCSC out of high school, among other cal states. I didn’t apply to UCLA or Cal)

Instead of paying 4k/quarter for four years I paid, drum roll please, $50/semester. Go to a CCC and get the Board of Governors waiver, it waives your tuition and you only need to pay school fees and textbooks. Of course if you get any grants then those will cover that.

“But I don’t want to go to community college, only dumb people go there” I thought this too. And I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are plenty of unmotivated people who go to CC, but there are plenty of people there smarter than either of us. Your honor student peers may look down on you, I’m sure mine looked down on me. But at the end of the day I’m graduating summa cum laude from the #2 public university in the world in a few months, and at a fraction of the cost. Community college is nothing to be embarrassed about.

My point here is, even if you fall short of your expectations in high school, it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you’ll never go to UCLA. I honestly found my CC coursework easier than any AP class I ever took in high school and laughed my way to a UCLA acceptance. It is way, way, way easier in my opinion to get a 4.0 at CC than a 4.5 in high school.

Ok now that I’ve written a novel I’m going to see myself out. Best of luck to you, and if you want any more blunt advice I’d be happy to help.

Does your school have a FIRST Robotics Team? If not, you can sometimes arrange to join one at a nearby school. There is really something for everyone with these organizations, and they attract all types of kids: confident leaders, shy nerds, social butterflies, etc. They all benefit from being part of the team. Typically the students will do training workshops to help beginners get started with all aspects of designing, building, programming, and driving the robot. There is also a huge emphasis on community outreach and service. I suspect that admissions for engineering schools looks for this type of extracurricular. Because robotics requires so many different types of skill sets, it is a way to find out what really interests you. You can work with the mechanical, electrical, or programming groups, maintain the website, organize travel logistics, do workshop presentations, or drive the robot at one of the competitions. A side benefit is that I have seen really strong group friendships develop that last well beyond high school. Many of these kids mentor high school teams while they are in college.

If you do Robotics, you can write an essay related to your interest in engineering, and use your struggle with Perthes for the essay about overcoming a challenge. I love that you are planning ahead as a freshman!

@karmavee I am still reading, but I thank you so much. You have no idea how much your “novel” :wink: has helped me. I would love to keep in touch with you, because it’s awesome talking to someone who actually attends UCLA. And I agree, dance is a sport, just wanted to put that out there haha. Thank you so much!

@BunnyBlue Thank you so much! Funny how you mentioned Robotics, there was an an announcement on my school news about it this morning, and I considered joining. I will definitely look into it!

Synchronicity!

@SchoolFreakLol: Find what makes you happy and delve, dip and dive into that. Augment your successes in the classroom with personal successes that fulfill you and help you to become the person you must be to live YOUR life. You can perceive yourself as being in the shadow, or under the wing, or in the footsteps of your parents - and it may be true - but you will always be a generation behind them, and they will always have decades of time in (with whatever) to show that they’ve done something, and done it well.

So what.

You have a great foundation and now you need to build upon it, by making sure you strengthen your mind and spirit. You have goals, drive, access, curiosity and … anxiety. As a HS freshman.

Just do some simple math (subtract the things which feed your anxiety), and get to looking at who you are, what you want to do, and how best to do that, but in your own fashion.

You have thrown out a feeler and seem to have found some “friends” and mentors right here in this thread. Hold onto that, and begin to recognize how positively people respond to you right where you are.

I wish all the best for you.

@Waiting2exhale I don’t know what to say. This comment is truly inspirational, thank you so much. That might be the nicest message I have ever received on the internet. You really just gave me the goosebumps. I cannot thank you enough. :’)

Some great advice on this thread. Yes, challenge yourself, but it’s not worth driving yourself crazy. I would also say don’t get fixated on UCLA. Electrical engineering admissions is very competitive there, and many kids with stellar records don’t get in. But it’s not the end of the world. They all get in somewhere else, and they do fine in life. Furthermore, I have a lot of experience with UC schools, and although I think you can get a great education and have a great experience (at relatively low cost for in-state attendees) at the UCs, the experience is not for everyone. Many people fit better in smaller schools that can give them more personal attention. Since you don’t seem to be a CA resident (is that correct?), UCLA will be just as costly as a private school for you, so you should do some research, visit some other colleges, and see what seems to fit you best.

Just curious–why did you choose UCLA as your top choice so early in your high school career?

Are you a resident of California?
That may make a difference in costs for your parents.