Please Help me CC Parents...this is urgent!!!! Its lengthy but IMPORTANT!! Please!

<p>This is a very hard question. You have begun to put down roots at Hendrix and it is hard to leave.</p>

<p>My 2 cents:</p>

<p>If you are the sort of person who made lemonade out of lemons (was open to fall in love with a school that initially was a back-up plan) you have the right attitude to be a leader at Kenyon or anywhere else. So I have zero concern about you not finding your niche if your were to leave Hendrix.</p>

<p>OTOH, you are very happy where you are. The maxim "if it ain't broke" may apply here.</p>

<p>I do think that $30K is a significant savings. Depending how much that impacts your family, it should be considered, if Hendrix does not give more aid.</p>

<p>It is nice to hear such positive things about Hendrix, a school that sounds like it deserves a rising national reputation.</p>

<p>Bottom line: there is no bad choice, because you are a person who will find the good in either situation. BRAVO.</p>

<p>You can achieve just as much in life if you max out the opportunities at Hendrix and work for a high GPA and get the most out of all your teachers and opportunities. College is truly what you put into it and all about how much you give. The prestige factor at Kenyon might mean a bit more for grad school applications but only if you are not a slacker at Hendrix. If you excell at Hendrix, doors will swing open for you.
That said. Freshman year friends and sweethearts are meaningful friendships and not to be discounted. But trust me, you will make deep friendships at Kenyon, too after enduring a bit of turbulence finding your circle of new friends..and as a parent, I do hope that my Ss will not get into "college marriages" re dating and will stay open to dating during these crucial years. If you are not certain that your current boyfriend is the last man you wish to date and instead you know you want to date others before becoming a (gulp) parent..do not consider that relationship at all in this decision. Dating is awkward for everyone because of course every person you date is a valued part of your life and experience..but I hate to see anyone at the beginning of their "search for identity" settling on a serious boyfriend at the beginning of the journey.
My freshman year BF found me on the Internet and guess what in our email chats I have discovered....he and I are on totally opposite sides re all political beliefs, religious ideas, and cultural pursuits. Who knew when we were 19 and enjoying spending time together that our preferences and belief systems were unformed and untested that we would basically would agree on almost nothing by age 25? There are reasons you are allowed a few years at college to sort out your own preferences and ideas before settling on a mate.<br>
Be careful about labeling Kenyon northern and preppy. Kenyon is also known as a great place for intellectual pursuits. It may have aspects of those preppy descriptors but it is a very very fine place for getting amazing access to full professors in the subjects that interest you. Consider the rigor of Kenyon vs the rigor of Hendrix. I really can't say what that is all about, but you have a clue. Sometimes it is a good idea to pick a rigorous peer group to grow up with as pacesetters, and at Kenyon you will not be subjected to large classrooms.
I also struggled with whether or not to leave my undergrad college after the first year. I stayed, with some ongoing regrets. However, I am pleased to say that I gave 100% to my college and got back 200% in terms of faculty mentors and friendships.<br>
Wherever you go, give it your heart and best effort and I am certain you will be quite pleased with your circle of friends and mentors when you graduate.</p>

<p>Valuable1212: I had a look at the websites of the French departments of Hendrix and Kenyon to see if there was anything that I could add that would help you. Kenyon, as you know, has a very nice looking department, with lovely-sounding courses. But there is an overlap with the Hendrix offerings. As others have said, it's what you make of it. Whatever you decide, you have the opportunity to study abroad, something that is important to you. Go with your heart and good luck to you --</p>

<p>Sounds like me just a year ago! Like you, I didn't decide on my top choice between Smith and Colgate until, well just before the acceptance letters came in. Denied from Colgate and got into Smith and also American. I cried for a week after I got the letter and threw tantrums to my mom on why I didn't get into Colgate despite my legacy status. I put deposit down for Smith, figuring it was the best I could do, and why not? An experience at an all-women's school! Then sometimes in May, I had conscience that was bothering me... just to call Colgate to find out "what went wrong." I felt a LOT better and basically said, "screw it!"</p>

<p>But unlike you, I was very unhappy at Smith. I wanted to apply for transfer but my heart was still set on Colgate after someone asked me towards the end of the first semester what my top choice was (couldn't believe that I hadn't thought about it at all since May). I kept an open mind towards Cornell too- just wanting to be back in NY state. But a crisis forced me to choose one school to apply so I could have the time/energy to create a terrific application. So I applied.</p>

<p>Honestly, I made the MOST of my second semester at Smith- getting much more involved and even landed several leadership positions such as treasurer for my "house" and Hillel and VP for the Russian Club. I also landed a cushion-y workstudy job at the library. I had great classes lined up for the fall (was going to learn French, continue with 2nd year Russian, two Jewish Studies classes...). I even met a new friend at Amherst during a Shabbat dinner who seemed like could be my best friend in the 5-College area. Even declared Jewish Studies as my minor with a cool advisor!</p>

<p>Then the LETTER came. I was absolutely hysterical in TEARS- I ran from the post office to my dorm room, running past several housemates who were concerned. I was absolutely conflicted. I was so upset and like you, couldn't understand why couldn't Colgate have accepted me a year ago? Why did they have to wait a year? Same feelings and everything. I was also jubliant that the Smith name helped a lot (just a week before I was offered a DC internship).</p>

<p>I was torn for two weeks. You see, for me, Colgate felt "like home" every time I visited. That's why you SHOULD visit Kenyon before your due date. If you can still imagine yourself on that campus, even with no students around, and be realistic (now that you're in college and know what it's all about), then it's the gut feeling that the campus is the place to be. I went during Colgate's spring break in March- trees all barren and grass was brown, cloudy day... yet, I could still see the beauty of the campus.</p>

<p>That gut feeling really helped me to pull myself away from Smith because I never really had that while I was there. Even when I visited friends there a couple weeks ago- I was still shaking my head, nope, no good gut feeling there.</p>

<p>I also wanted Colgate for its amazing history major. The offerings and the faculty were so much better and fit my interests and needs in ways that Smith's history department couldn't provide me.</p>

<p>Now, about social life. Yes, it's SCARY thinking about it. Yes, you will have a bit of trouble breaking into groups. But remember, sophomore year is also a huge transition for social circles. People start developing different interests and become more concrete in their passion- I've seen friendships fall apart because of different social interests. Some people decided that they were just tired of partying and drinking and others wanted to keep going, etc. As for positions, you're only transfering in as a sophomore and most positions usually go to upperclassmen anyway. So if you do choose to transfer to Kenyon, totally throw yourself in EC's and be aware of the social dynamics within that particular EC. You may find yourself not doing the same EC(s) as you were used to because that was just too clique-y but most of the time, it's for better. You wind meeting amazing people elsewhere. As for the fear of "Greek life,' investigate it. Even though Greek life doesn't necessarily dominate Colgate but transfers are drawn to it because of the networking and "meeting people" opportunities that it offers. I joined my sorority for that purpose and Greek life has yet to fail me. I'm not a big drinker but I still have a great time bonding with other people becase they're high-energy and passionate. You might be surprised- trust me, very few transfers considered Greek life when they first came to Colgate. I was totally anti-Greek myself. One of the most important things that a transfer can do for herself in terms of social aspect is to meet as many people as she can, regardless of guessing which one will become her best friends. The student body love to meet new kids and should be welcoming in knowing who you are- because you're a fresh face and that gives them a break from seeing their friends' faces all the time. </p>

<p>For me, it was definitely a heart-wretching decision but I was willing to take the risk because I wanted a change of scenary and an opportunity to attend my dream school. I also knew that if Colgate didn't work out, I could always come back to Smith. I had to isolate myself from my friends, my family, and my professors to figure out what <em>I</em> wanted to do, not what they expected me to do. Sometimes you just have to jump in the water, after all, those pirates are waiting for you to jump off the plank into the water of the unknown. The worst that could happen is that you drown at Kenyon. Or you find that you can swim anyway towards your dream.</p>

<p>I sort of disagree with one of the above posters about the Harvard story. Kenyon doesn't have to be your lost dream- it all really depends how wel you know yourself and how much you need it to assist you with your happiness and success. Don't let the name blind you. Let the Kenyon students and professors keep you real.</p>