Please help me grade my essay. Thank you for viewing.

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
For a variety of reasons, people often make choices that have negative results. Later, they regret
these choices, finding out too late that bad choices can be costly. On the other hand, decisions
that seem completely reasonable when they are made may also be the cause of later
disappointment and suffering. What looks like a wonderful idea at one time can later seem like
the worst decision that could have been made. Good choices, too, can be costly.
Assignment: Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences? Plan and write an essay in
which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken
from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<p>It seems plausible that “bad choices can have negative consequence while good ones will have positive effects.” And it may be a paradox to say that “good choice can be costly”- the statement itself seems contradictory. But indeed, it can be true, because people are not able to predict the ramification of their choices holistically when they make decisions. Even the most insightful and efficacious choice may come out to be a fault due to bad effects it brings to us.
Considering the human history, these examples are plentiful. Take a look at the Great Britain’s First Industry Revolution. At a time when all the work was done by humans at home and the productivity was very limited, the introduction of stream engine was a sparkling choice made by the contemporary British government. The development and application of the stream engines did bring a giant leap to human society: the total amount of the product made in the late eighteenth century to the early 1850s was tantamount to the amount of the entire product human made since they appeared on the earth. And human life changed dramatically in the following years after the invention of the stream engine: they could travel easily by ships and cars which were faster and more comfortable than the vehicles they used before, and they could buy food and goods for much lower prices. Even today, we are enjoying the benefits they brought to us. But today, considering the El Nino and La Nina phenomena, which were caused by excessive diffusion of the carbon dioxide, a product generated by the usage of coal and gasoline for stream engines to provide energy, and considering the years of abnormal whether, which caused much loss in the property and even human lives, we can never say that the choice of stream engine do not bring us any harm. In fact, we are suffering from the unpleasant consequences of the “good” choice every day: more than one billion people in the world are using water that is polluted by industry by-products and almost every people are breathing air that was much dirty than that of four hundred years ago because of the diffusion of poisonous gases caused by combustion of coal.
Another example is the discovery of nuclear energy. When human beings first found this scintillating energy, they were exulted by the tremendous amount of energy it provided to them. At that time, almost everywhere in the world, the nuclear power plants were built, and the nuclear-powered submarines and flattops were constructed. Of course, the projects solved lots of problems obsessing human beings such as shortage of energy at that time. But the explosion of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant and the conflict between Iran and United States on the nuclear problems do remind us that the choice of developing and the widespread usage of this energy still have some negative consequences. And the problems it brings us seem not easy to handle with, so we can say the “good” choice is good indeed.
From the discussion above, we can easily get the conclusion that good choices can still be negative and do harm to us as well as bad ones. What looks like a wonderful idea at one time can later seem like the worst decision that could have been made. Good choices, too, can be costly.</p>

<p>I liked your essay very much!! My grade: 11/12 (I would rader grade it with a 6 than a 5 though!)</p>

<p>One weak point, in my opinion, is the fact that you used two similar examples: both deal with the -direct or indirect- consequences of energy policy/decisions.
However, more striking to me is the fact that you're second example isn't really appropriate since it doesn't truely exemplify a "choice" -- I understand what you wanted to say though, but as I said there would probably be better examples.</p>

<p>You're vocab is terrific, your sentences are clear and I couldn't find any blatant grammatical errors. You've developed your ideas excellently.</p>

<p>However, please heed to my caveat, that I'm neither a test grader nor do I possess a comprehensive experience in grading SAT-essays!</p>

<p>your essay simply rocks
your vocabulary is simply amazing and i was amzed how you could incorporate so many collegiate words into that one essay
moving on to the negative aspects, your transitions were bad and so was the structure of your essay
as stated in the previous reply, the second example was inappropriate
i feel sth like gandhi`s choice of nonviolence over violence would be a good one
however your essay is simply superb and i would give it a 12/12</p>

<p>Thank you for the previous reply!
Your advices are very precious to me!
I will try to do better latter!</p>