please help me. i DON'T want to go to princeton

Colleges and Universities A-Z Princeton University
1

<p>after several long arguments with my step-father (none of which involved princeton's actual stats) it has been pretty much decided for me that i'll be applything there. this all stems from his bitterness at being accepted to princeton and not being able to pay for it or even get financial aid at the time (hurray for poor african immigrants).</p>

<p>so, i need help convincing him to not force me to apply. right now my dream school is columbia, and excepting that i'm aiming for a small liberal arts place in the northeast like vassar or amherst. </p>

<p>can anyone give me any viable down sides to going to princeton undergrad? i've done research but nothing comes up at being overwhelmingly negative about the place. i just get the feeling that i wouldn't fit in there. after my experiences at a residential high school (the north carolina school of science and math) i really don't want to settle for some place that wouldn't fit me just for the prestige.</p>

<p>for the record i'm planning on major/minor-ing in some freakish mix of comparative literature/philosophy/sociocultural anthropology/creativewriting...in that order.</p>

<p>thanks
:-)</p>

2

<p>sabotage your application ! :D </p>

<p>that's what I'm doing with my dad and columbia..</p>

3

<p>Please. Don't sabotage your application.</p>

<p>You say you have a 'feeling' you won't fit in...? Maybe you could visit the actual Princeton campus to get a feel of the environment, what students are like etc. I'm sure someone will be happy to host you if you want to stay overnight. You should really give the school a chance. Princeton is great and there are relatively few (if any) points against it. </p>

<p>Obviously you shouldn't just go along with what your parents are telling you to do just because they're telling you to do it. But there must be some merit in applying to the school if your father feels so strongly about it. Princeton's financial aid is excellent (the best), focus is on undergraduates, students are the funnest and most intellectual (IMHO) so it's NOT just about prestige. It's an amazing amazing amazing (<em>am I emphasizing this enough?</em>) school!</p>

<p>If you're seriously looking at schools like Amherst/Williams/Columbia, then I'd say you do have a chance of being accepted to Princeton, so you should consider applying. Afterall, you have nothing to loose. Visit and apply. If you get in and you decide you still don't want to go THEN you can talk it over with your dad , but right now I don't see much use in fighting with your parents over this when you may not get in in the first place. It's just an application. Don't stress over it.</p>

<p>And GOOD LUCK!! :)</p>

4

<p>Well, there's quite a difference in the location of the schools. That's something you might be able to work with.</p>

<p>Don't jump the gun, however. At this point, you know almost nothing relative to what you will know further along the application process. I definitely sympathatize with your dilemma. My parents were pushy when we were deciding a list of schools. It's frustrating to know they care but at the same time it's almost as if they forget it's <em>you</em> going to college, not they. </p>

<p>I think that if money/time is not a problem, apply. Pton is really a very good school in all aspects, and has strong programs for your interests. (Things work out in curious ways anyway - there was one school in particular I desperately didn't want to go to, and my mom liked very much. In the end it was the only school I didn't get into.) However, that said, you learn so much through the application process, and your opinions continue to change radically - <em>especially</em> after your apps are in. </p>

<p>I also sympathize because at one point when I was deciding between Y, P, and S, Pton was in third place, exactly because of what you said - I just didn't think I'd fit in there. After admission you're going to get insight into the school in new ways - through mailings, online, alum meets --- obviously my opinion changed radically. Yours will too. Don't block off a great option so early. You may not get in, after all. Until then give it a chance : ).</p>

5

<p>Dude you really ring a bell to me. When I took a Princeton visit, the admissions officer mentioned that they get cases of students writing a letter pleading that they do not want to get accepted and that their parents are trying to force them for whatever reason (alumnis, etc.)
The officer said that "We grant their wish every time"</p>

6

<p>Just apply. You'll have something to fall back on if you don't get into Columbia.</p>

7

<p>that is, if you don't get into Columbia, and do get into Pton...</p>

8

<p>stop rebelling. stop specifically wanting not to go to princeton just because your stepdad wants you to. don't make excuses that you feel like you won't fit in; you won't be out of place any more than you'll be ou of place at amherst, vassar, columbia, or anywhere else. At every school with more than 10 kids per class you'll find a group of people who you like, and you wont' like anyone else. That's how it is, sorry.</p>

9

<p>Dude, it's really simple. Just send a $hitty application.</p>

10

<p>Or just apply. It's hard enough to get in as-is.</p>

11

<p>But why would he apply and not go and take the place of someone who desperately wants to go.</p>

<p>I think you should either
a) Really give Princeton a chance and see for YOURSELF if you like it or not. I think you are dismissing it completely because of your father.
b) Really talk to your father and convince him that while it may have been the dream school for him, it's not the right school for you, and if he loves you, he'll want you to be happy. If that doesn't work, set up a deal like, you'll apply to pton if you get rejected ED Columbia. <em>shrug</em></p>

12

<p>you shot JFK ok, disregard all other comments. If you do not want to go to Princeton don't let anybody else decide wheter you should apply and go there. Princeton is not really a "safety" for Columbia.
Don't let anyone, including me, decide what your life should look like for the 4 years of your life. In this forum, most people would like to go to princeton, including me but that is only because Princeton is the place where we can see ourselves in.
If other ppl's attitudes will pressure you to mail that application, send the admission a letter explaining your situation.</p>

13

<p>If you are really intent on double-majoring, than you might be able to use the fact that Princeton does not allow you to do so, due to the rigors of writing a senior thesis..</p>

14

<p>I think its funny that everyone assumes that he hasn't given Princeton a chance, or that he's just rebeling against his stepdad, etc. Maybe we should let him decide whats best for him, after all, thats what he's upset about.</p>

15

<p>
[quote]
Maybe we should let him decide whats best for him, after all, thats what he's upset about.

[/quote]
Agreed ... but I'd also suggest that I'd wait to have the argument with his stepdad. For now, negotiate an application to Princeton for applications to Columbia, Dartmouth, Williams, etc. Then after acceptences arrive then have the war over Princeton ... and odds are that Princeton will not be an option (just because the odds are tough for everyone; even the best applicants).</p>

16

<p>
[quote]
I think its funny that everyone assumes that he hasn't given Princeton a chance, or that he's just rebeling against his stepdad, etc.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>No offence Moat, but I don't think he HAS given Princeton a chance. If you actually read his post, he specifically says:
[quote]
i've done research but nothing comes up at being overwhelmingly negative about the place

[/quote]
So you've studied the school but you can't find a single reason not to go... except for the fact that your step father - "hurray for poor african immigrants" - was unable to afford the ivy league education he was offered? That doesn't seem like a valid enough reason to me. Maybe if you've seen all the great things about the school and you say, "Well, they don't have X program I want to study." or "Their policy on Y is completely against my beleifs." THEN we could 'assume' you've given Princeton a chance, but right now you're basing your decisions on how you feel today - on this "feeling that i wouldn't fit in there". Following your intuition is a great strategy, but your impression could be based more on misconceptions about Princeton than on the actual reality. That is why I suggested you visit the campus to guage for yourself how you would fit in. </p>

<p>I would agree with ThePolishDude about doing what you want to do and sending in a letter to the admissions office (especially since "We grant their wish every time" :D ), but that is only if you really and truly know you don't want to go to Princeton... and not because of your dad, but because it is not the school for you. I don't think you're at that stage, however. Right now, you can't even think of an overwhelming reason not to apply! Mea gave an excellent example and spoke about how opinions can radically change. I too can testify to that: Just a year ago, UPenn was my dream school and I was hell bent on apply there. But you have to consider all your options carefully and remember that your decisions today will be affecting you in the future. Yes, maybe Princeton is really not a good fit for you, but this issue is possibly more about your relationship with your step dad than it is about the school itself. Maybe that's something you should think about...</p>

<p>
[quote]
Just apply. You'll have something to fall back on if you don't get into Columbia.

[/quote]
That something to fall back on is called a safety school. Princeton is not one of them. In fact, if you don't get into Columbia then I think it's fair to say your chances of getting into Princeton are slim (to none). But GetMeOutOfHere's point is still valid: you need to keep your options open! It would be a pity if you really are a Tiger '10 at heart and you miss out on the chance to attend Princeton because of your stepdad. </p>

<p>It's only July; you still have a several months before you apply... just think about it carefully before you jump to dismiss the school. This should be about you and your life, not about you and your resentment of your dad. </p>

<p>Besides, Princeton's creative writing department is amazing ;)</p>

17

<p>You should apply regular decision. This will minimize your chances of being accepted (IIRC they only accept 8-10% RD).</p>

18

<p>Plus, regular decision isn't binding. You never know, you may decide that you like Princeton after all.</p>

19

<p>RD is more like 6-7 percent acceptance, but you make a valid point.</p>

20

<p>Odds are you aren't going to get into Princeton, so apply with a good application, don't shrug it off, and if you get in that's great, if you don't get in, that's what you wanted. Also by applying with a good application you will be making your dad happy, and you won't have to struggle with him anymore.</p>

<p>Bottomline: Apply and make your dad happy, then most likely get rejected (w/o sabotage) and make yourself happy.</p>