Please help me revise and/or improve my UC Prompt Essay (1st)!

<p>I've never gotten it peer-checked yet.. since I've just finished it about 30 minutes ago.
New to this website, hoping to get some awesome feedback on ANYTHING in my essay.
Help? :) Thank you!</p>

<p>I can give you some feedback, if you would like.</p>

<p>Thank you so much! I’ve sent it to your email ^^;</p>

<p>I’ve gotten no feedback as of yet. Can anyone please help me out?</p>