please help me with plan B

Parents Forum
41

<p>Laserbrother-</p>

<p>We ALL know you are upset. I am sure your daughter knows by now too.</p>

<p>JHS is correct. Today is a big decision day for many kiddos. Many of those schools you had in mind for your daughter next year come out TODAY.</p>

<p>A 760 in math is GREAT. FANTASTIC. Son was accepted last year EARLY to MIT, CalTech, and RD to Penn for engineering, P'ton, Rice, Duke, UNC, Vandy, Swat, Cornell...with a 750 math.</p>

<p>The 3 military academies also thought his 750 was just fine as well.</p>

<p>And as another poster said the curve is tight, he missed 2.</p>

<p>Please, for your daughter's sake, STOP. Just stop.</p>

<p>I have 5 children, 4 in college, 1 has graduated. Your anxiety will/is counter-productive. I think at this point having done this as a single mom I know what I am talking about. We like you moved to an area specifically for the kiddos college educations in mind. So we are similar in that regard. I do know where you are coming from. But.........</p>

<p>you are making this worse than it is or needs to be.</p>

<p>I always tell my children"they have been given much, now much is expected of them." You have been given a wonderous gift, your daughter. Treat her as such, always. Especially now.</p>

<p>There is no crying about SATs. (My kiddos motto, well that and no crying in swimming or baseball or football...) Tears are for the loss of a loved one, a pet, a terminal illness, broken bones, car accidents not SAT scores.</p>

<p>Now take a deep breath, tell her how much you love her, how proud you are about her 760 in math. WOW. And don't say another negative thing. Not one.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

42

<p>lb - not sure of your d's CR score, but based on your hints are we safe to assume mid-600s? If so, combined score for M+CR is over 1400 which is pretty darned good. The couple of kids from our school accepted at WUSTL had decent, but not spectacular SATs...and had great transcripts, so it sounds like you are focusing on the right things.</p>

<p>But you previously stated your d wasn't so sure about pre-med or a career in sciences, so maybe she isn't so sure about WUSTL or UChicago? Just food for thought...there are many wonderful colleges out there.</p>

<p>And Oct isn't too late. I wouldn't cream her with AP exams, SAT II prep AND an SAT I do-over all in the month of May. (Most kids have spring fever by then anyway.)</p>

43

<p>"'many here suspect you may be a troll because you are SO "out there" in your warped thinking"</p>

<p>Seriously? Interesting. From my experience, LB's point of view is considered "typical." At least people are getting an inside glimpse at what's behind all those Asian uber-students, I think.</p>

<p>And just my unsolicited advice to LB: lay off. Your daugther sounds super-smart (a 760 SAT is excellent!). But if you keep pressuring her to fulfill YOUR dreams, she will not have a happy life. Kids just want to please their parents, and if the parents indicate that their love is conditional (like by expecting the kids to fulfill the parents' dreams), it can have long-term harmful effects. In the end, don't you want her to be happy? If not, well, I don't know what else to say.</p>

44

<p>Cal and Moon,</p>

<p>I try to tell people that there's not necessary a correlation between brains and SAT, using my ridiculously smart son as an example. He got every "easy" question on the PSAT wrong because he coudln't get it through his head that the answer could be that easy/obvious so he used mental gymnastics to try and find a reasonble explanation for why something else could also be the right answer. He also had a 670 as an 8th grader for his SATs, and later scored an 800, but only after we paid for three hours of a tutor to convince him that there are easy questions with obvious answers and not to sweat them!! Oh, and he managed to get into Yale SCEA with a meager 740 in Math!</p>

45

<p>Laserbrother- stop living your life through your child, let her have her life back. Your obsessiveness is ruining her. Do you have a wife? Is she allowed to have a different opinion? What will your daughter do when she finally gets to become a real person instead of her father's attempt at the perfect child? Spend your time getting to that financial planner. Value your daughter as a person, not a brain.</p>

46

<p>Hey Groovegirl,</p>

<p>If that's "typical", it's pretty unfortunate. I'm all for pushing my teenagers to be the best that they can be, but it's what THEY want to be. My parental focus regarding academics is on 100% effort, not perfection. And they won't be told that they can only go into one of "4 careers" that laserbrother posted about on another thread. And I find the "we" and "my" to be particularly grating.</p>

47

<p>Well, 760 is a disappointing score if you were demanding perfection.</p>

<p>My opinion, take it or not:
You got some good news and some bad news.
-- Good: the 760 is excellent. Be forewarned that when she retakes it, she may very likely score lower. Look at the information CB provides -- most kids who score that high will drop the second time.
-- Bad: the CR score is, given your parameters, low. However -- you have mentioned that you are relatively recent immigrants. Is English your daughter's second language? If so, then the CR score is good. </p>

<p>I also recall that you were upset because your daughter wasn't studying for the SATs. Please don't say "I told you so." Consider that if you hadn't been bugging her, maybe she would have been studying and thus gotten a higher score. Reverse psychology can work wonders with teenagers. If she is motivated to do better, then she will study next time. Not because you are nagging. Because she is motivated. Big difference.</p>

<p>You don't need a plan B. You need to expand your plan A. Your daughter's scores are excellent, and she can still apply to the reaches on her list. Her SAT scores may rise enough next time so that all this anguish is unnecessary. If her scores don't improve, she will still qualify for merit money, but you may have to go a little lower in the rankings for that. There are many colleges that would give her excellent money with those scores. </p>

<p>If I were you -- I would congratulate her effusively for that amazing and wonderful math score. She did great, and needs to hear that from you. If you don't tell her that, tell her that I congratulate her. Show her the comments here on CC, where people are all saying that 760 in math is a score to be proud of.</p>

48

<p>I was afraid there would be a thread on LB's D's SAT scores...and it gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.</p>

<p>What got my attention was "when I checked D?s March 10th SAT I scores." LB, did you not allow your D to check her own scores??</p>

<p>My son has a CB account, not I. He has the password, not I. I asked DS if I could watch as he opened the link to his scores. We all celebrated at 5:50 this AM. DS exceeded his target score. He's done.</p>

<p>I suspect if DS were LB's son, DS would be told to retake the SAT to raise his CR score. Sad. So sad.</p>

<p>ColoradoMomof2, I hear ya! We are completely on the same page.</p>

49

<p>Laserbrother, You do not need a Plan B. What you need is to get a grip and keep things in their proper perspective. For your daughter's sake, as well as your own.</p>

50

<p>There is no crying about SATs. Tears are for the loss of a loved one, a pet, a terminal illness, broken bones, car accidents not SAT scores.</p>

<br>


<br>

<p>Amen, Katwkittens, Amen.</p>

51

<p>I am not going to repeat the spot-on advice you have already been given by the othe posters. I will tell you, however, that a score of 760 on the math is good enough for Wash U (and other peer institutions). The SAT score is but one element being reviewed, and this is good enough for the schools your daughter is considering.</p>

<p>Case in point -- my son got a 2250 combined SAT score. He got 760 CR 750 Math and 740 Writing. He applied to 11 schools as a senior this year. We are still waiting to hear from Princeton, but so far these are his results as a student interested in majoring in electrical engineering:</p>

<p>USC - admitted (and a finalist for a 1/2 tuition scholarship)</p>

<p>Vanderbilt - admitted (and recipient of 1/2 tuition scholarship)</p>

<p>University of Texas - admitted to Engineering Honors (and a recipient of 3/4 tuition scholarship)</p>

<p>Rice - admitted (and recipient of 1/2 tuition scholarship and a research scholarship giving him a guaranteed research mentorship for his first 2 years and an additional $8,000/year)</p>

<p>Wash U - admitted</p>

<p>Cornell - received a likely letter and notification that he is finalist for a scholar award </p>

<p>Carnegie Mellon - admitted</p>

<p>Johns Hopkins - admitted</p>

<p>Stanford - rejected SCEA</p>

<p>MIT - rejected</p>

<p>If you ask me, those are pretty amazing results! In my humble opinion, he is an amazing applicant in many other ways, and the schools recognized that. They don't expect perfection in the SATs. And I believe there are a number of other applicants out there with higher SAT scores whose results were not as good as his. </p>

<p>I would have your daughter put her effort into the SAT IIs and her grades and the rest of her life and be ecstatic with her SAT scores. THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH!!!</p>

52

<p>This thread should be put out of its misery. </p>

<p>Next thread will be: "My Kid Failed to Get 2400...Is there Hope?"</p>

53

<p>we were advised to look at PSAT and PLAN (official ACT "practice" test) scores and see if she was stronger in one vs the other, then focus on the stronger test..the PLAN did look stronger
but instead I decided to have her do Huntington prep for SAT...but her 1st SAT still wasn't what we'd expect from her GPA. she took it one more time and it did go up, but we decided to try the ACT</p>

<p>she did quite well on the June ACT, so we stuck with that and stopped with the SAT I. she retook ACT twice and ended up with a 30 using combined sittings, which put her into scholarship range at some of her schools</p>

<p>this is a kid with 4.33 plus wted GPA...but she is not a super fast reader and it shows on her standardized tests</p>

<p>At this point you could have her do some practice ACTs (PLAN or just old ACTS) and see if you can see if she is stonger there- you can find ACT to SAT comparisons on the internet</p>

<p>schools will accept either one..the nice thing about ACT is you only send the scores you like; unlike SAT where all scores are sent. the only time that backfires is if the school requires SAT IIs, then they will also see the SAt I's</p>

<p>and yes, I would not stress over a 760 in Math</p>

<p>as you are finding out, end of JR year is very taxing with all the tests</p>

<p>I signed my d up for online ACT prep, but I don't think she ever did much with it..so it seemed that the ACT was better suited to her, because without much prep, she did a bit better on it vs the SAT with prep</p>

<p>my d retook the ACT in Sept and in Oct and still made EA deadlines, altho the Nov 1 deadline was very tight and you would have to work closely with the school to make sure that the Oct ACT would be accepted</p>

54

<p>"Next thread will be: "My Kid Failed to Get 2400...Is there Hope?"'</p>

<hr>

<p>There's a joke floating around on the web on tips on how to be a perfect Asian parent (from the kid's point of view). One of them is "Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with 99 grade on his/her report card."</p>

<p>Another is "Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" If he/she majors in a non-science field."</p>

<p>Sound familiar? ;)</p>

55

<p>Laser: I strongly advise you to "fire" yourself as your daughter's college consultant. You are much too emotionally involved in the process and you're already doing more harm than good in terms of the messages and info you're giving to your daughter. </p>

<p>Find a private college counselor who charges an affordable fee and turn the process of advising your daughter over to this person. The pro can be objective and straightforward with your daughter regarding her personal goals and dreams, the key elements of her application, and the reach-match-safety colleges she should research and visit. Then she can make her own decision. For your daughter's sake, for the sake of your relationship with her, and for the sake of your own sanity, step out of the process and hire a professional. It will be worth every penny.</p>

56

<p>BES, thank YOU VERY MUCH for rubbing it in, putting salt over a fresh cut. had my D gotton a CR above 700 and total above 2200, I would have just be a little dispointed rather than wanted to cry. </p>

<p>To Countingdown. I made sure my D checked her score first before I log in from my work.</p>

57

<p>Just to share my experience, I went into the SATs last year without having studied because I did very well on my PSAT. I left those SATs and immediately cancelled my scores after having left at least a quarter of the problems blank on all the math sections and without being able to fully complete a couple of the english sections. Then I said, "This isn't going to work, let me try the ACT and see if I naturally do well on that." Well I went into my first ACT session after having done maybe 2 practice tests and it was a whole different ballpark. The questions FIT me. Maybe the ACT will also fit your daughter.</p>

58

<p>760 in math is two careless mistakes. On fourth grade level problems. I know because Mathson did it. He got a 5 on the Calculus BC AP and is taking a post calculus course. I can't believe that he got rejected anywhere for an inadequate math score.</p>

59

<p>Oh LB,
GROW UP! These are your DAUGHTERS' SCORES, not yours. She can take the SAT again, if she chooses to, in Oct. Your daughter is in AMERICA, and MANY factors are used by colleges in making admissions decisions. It is NOT just a statistics driven decision. Lighten up on your daughter or quit coming here expecting sympathy from parents who have seen too many OBSESSED parents and the havic their obsession can cause. LIsten to what numerous experienced parents such as Carolyn are saying to you.</p>

60

<p>Original poster: "My dreams were crushed at 8:45 AM this morning when I checked D?s March 10th SAT I scores. I am still in the state of total shock."</p>

<p>Is it just me, or does the first sentence illustrate a problem: the MOM's dreams revolve around the child's SAT scores? That's vicarious living, at its worst! </p>

<p>Has anyone been reading the controversy surrounding standarized testing? Many colleges are now making these optional or less important. There is much research re: the validity, or lack thereof, of these tests as indicators of future success...</p>

<p>No wonder depression and anxiety disorders are on the rise in the teen population! I can't imagine living in a home where my mom "freaked out" over a test score. Too bad she's too old for a good, old-fashioned spanking. (hope you hear the facetious tone in my last statement!)</p>

<p>In all seriousness, this doesn't sound like healthy parenting to me...IMHO.</p>