<p>My son is trying to make up his mind between the University of Georgia and Elon University. (Money does not factor into the decision.) I want this to be his decision. (Frankly I can make an argument for both schools and would be happy for him to attend either one.) I hoping someone can help him to realize the best fit/school for him.</p>
<p>He has a great understanding of the pros and cons of big vs. small colleges.
He's not sure what he wants to major in.... he's considering business, communications, political science, history. You get the picture. (He's not a math or science person so Elon would not limit his options, i.e. he's not going into engineering.) </p>
<p>Last night he said to me, when I do my analysis and I try to be true to myself, everything says I should go to Elon, but I picture myself at Georgia or a big state school." I asked if he pictured himself at a big state school because we (extended family) all went to large state schools (Maryland, VA Tech, Purdue, Tennessee, Georgia). His answer, he's not sure.</p>
<p>I think simply put intellectually Elon's the one, but in his heart it's Georgia. Last night he was going Georgia this morning its Elon.</p>
<p>One "trick" I know parents have used in the past, is to ask the kid to flip a coin. Heads, Elon. Tails Georgia. Then watch their reaction, carefully. If it comes up Elon, and the face lights up, that should tell him something. Either way, if he is sensitive to his own reaction to the outcome, he may learn something about his true feelings.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if he really loves them both equally, this may not help at all! One kid I know took three envelopes with acceptances to the mailbox. At the box, he had to choose only one. Now that would sure drive me nuts, as mom!</p>
<p>Good luck, though. It seems like he is trying out the two scenarios already- thus the sudden change from one to the other. Have faith, mom. He'll decide when he's ready.</p>
<p>My son had a similar decision between a large and smaller school. I told him to sit in a room and make his pro and con list for each school. He spent about an hour doing that. We then reviewed his lists together. I pointed out a couple of pros and cons that he did not write down, in case he wanted to consider those as well. Somehow doing this exercise just made it clear for him, and he made his choice. The whole process was about an 1.5 hours of agonizing.</p>
<p>One thing to look at on the big versus small issue, sometimes the small campus can become confining and limiting both academically and socially after a couple of years so by Jr year, it doesn't really fit the person. On the other hand, the big school can take a year or two to really find your place. So, definately look at what these schools might be like for him in two years. </p>
<p>As a very last resort, if money won't be a problem in the future, and the schools really do seem of equal value to him, which would be the easiest to transfer into if things don't work out with his first choice? There is no wrong decision here and if he knows you would support a transfer if his first choice doesn't work out, that might take some pressure of off him.</p>
<p>I am very into the listing of pros/cons and what is appealing at each school and facts about each school and putting them side by side and observing what pops out. It may help with the decision. It sounds like he has done a bit of this...maybe could do more. </p>
<p>But one thing you said pops out at me.....and that is that it appears that he sees a lot of valid and good reasons to pick Elon as if that is the "right" decision in his mind but his HEART is with U of Georgia. And ya know, there is something to be said for gut and desire and if he is more excited about U of Georgia but just thinks that Elon is "right" or a "great choice" for him, give him "permission" to just go with the school that excites him more even if the other has lots of great reasons to attend. </p>
<p>I do applaud you for letting your son decide. You seem like great parents.</p>
<p>Tell your son he is deciding on where to spend the next 12 months, not the rest of his entire life. Sometimes when t is broken down like that, kids can see where they want to go. If he doesn't know what he wants to major in, he may want to choose the big school so he has more options. Mostly though, he should follow his heart. Tell him he will get a great education at both places and classes only take up about 20 hours per week so he needs to be sure he is in the right place for the rest of his waking hours. Greek life, intramural teams, and other social opportunities will have just as big an impact, if not more, on his college experience as academics. Good luck as you near the dreaded deadline.</p>
<p>Your son may have done something similar already, but here's an exercise that I have found useful.<br>
1. A major part of the college experience, at least for some kids, is extracurricular activities. Is there a sport he is interested in? What sort of club/intramural options are available at each school? How competitive is participation in these activities? Is he a student organization/club sort of person? Take a look at what is offered in each place and see if there is something that appeals to him more at one school than another.
2. Most schools have course offerings on line. Pretend he is picking his schedule for the next four years. Read the courses, read up on the professors. Do the courses at one school sound more exciting?
3. Another area that affects a student's undergraduate experience is the housing environment. Are there differences (on-campus, off-campus, frat houses) between the two schools with respect to where upperclassman live, and, if so, which environment does your son think he would prefer?</p>
<p>Sounds like he has two great options. Good luck!</p>
<p>Well....our DD was in a similar boat two years ago. She was deciding between U of South Carolina and Santa Clara University. We didn't impose any money restrictions on her...but U of SC did give her a huge scholarship. We simply gave HER a deadline for her decision. We didn't talk about it at all. Our deadline was April 29th...simply because we wanted to allow enough time to get the deposits to the school. Late on the night of April 29, she gave us her decision and we sent the deposit the next morning. To be honest, I never spoke to her about it until we were on the plane going to the school for orientation/move in. I then asked her why she chose the school she chose, and her reasons were excellent.</p>
<p>Believe me...anyone who knows me knows it was mighty hard for me NOT to discuss this decision with my kid. But I do believe it needed to be here decision.</p>
<p>Two years ago, my daughter was deciding between Va Tech and Elon, and she was similarly confused. She ultimately chose Elon and has been happy ever since. Her final decision was made with the help of a family friend who is a college counselor. It came down to whether she wanted to take the safe path and go were a lot of her firends and classmates were (Va Tech), or to step out of her comfort zone and go were she knew no one. That being said, if his heart is at Ga, then he may not be happy at Elon.</p>
<p>As the mom of two who are still deciding ( Thumper1- I applaud what you did!) if $ are not the issue, I would say at this point go where your heart leads. I agree that if a student sees this as a one year decision instead of a lifetime, he can always transfer to Elon. </p>
<p>At t minus 5 days- I would be happy if one of our two kids said there heart was leading in them in a certain direction. But-I am an advocated of following your gut when in a situation like this. Good luck-both schools are wonderful options!</p>
<p>Be patient.. this time will pass.
We just went through it two weeks ago.
In the morning College A.. evening it is College B.
I prepared a spread sheet for myself giving points to anything from college neighborhood, dorms, food, cost, courses etc etc. to use just in case that she couldn't decide on her own. At the end, she made the decision on her own.</p>
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Tell your son he is deciding on where to spend the next 12 months, not the rest of his entire life.
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<p>I think this is great advice. One of my sons went to a school of about 5000 (about same size as Elon). He decided he wanted to transfer and ended up at a school of about 17,000. Just the other day, he told me how even though there was much anxiety over whether to transfer or not---he feels he has had the best of both. </p>
<p>If your son chooses one and is blissfully happy, then great. If not, he can transfer.</p>
<p>The following from ZIXXA was very helpful for him.</p>
<p>"One thing to look at on the big versus small issue, sometimes the small campus can become confining and limiting both academically and socially after a couple of years so by Jr year, it doesn't really fit the person. On the other hand, the big school can take a year or two to really find your place. So, definately look at what these schools might be like for him in two years."</p>
<p>Money is always part of the equation at our house and ds was choosing between a major he loved at XYZ U and a school he loved, which did not offer a major he loved.</p>
<p>He chose the college over tha major and has been very happy ever since. Personally, I would have, at his age, chosen the other way, but for him, it was the correct decision.</p>
<p>meco - thankgoodness!! Good Luck to your son at Georgia!</p>
<p>Yesterday, I mailed the enrollment deposit for my daughter. Last night she was crying. Of the 5 schools she was accepted to she doesn't want any of them.
She is on the waitlist at Elon. She only wants to go to Elon.
Last week she sent the saddest email to Elon - how she will accept a college that she doesn't want to attend.
She is even thinking of staying home and taking the year off. :(</p>
<p>JustAMom, the problem with that is she can't predict the future. If I had $$ for every story on this board where a student ended up going to a school kicking and screaming only to find out they loved it once they got there, can't imagine being anywhere else, blah blah blah - you get the idea. </p>
<p>There's also the opposite where someone claims to have loved a school since they were being carried in their mother's womb only to discover how much they hate it when they actually get there. </p>
<p>So, I don't think your D should take a year off unless she's got better reasons, or better plans. She should just give the one she dislikes least a shot and see how it goes -- she'll probably end up liking it after she gets there, meets some new friends, and gets into a groove.</p>