<p>Hi, so I'm really flustered here thinking about college and financial aid. So here's my situation: I have lived with my mom since the start of high school, and I'll be a senior this year (applying to colleges). We lived with my father before that, but they were never married, and my father is NOT on the birth certificate. I also don't live with my dad at all. So my question is, I know that he doesn't apply to FAFSA at all, but is my father a non-custodial parent? An important note is that my mom receives "child support" unofficially for $150/week, and my father owns part of the home in which we live (most of it actually, my mom owns a portion, and we live in a city away from my father. Also, my father willingly pays for the bills of the home, and my mother does not have a job. We (mom and I) also receive federal benefits, but my father makes a large income (300,000+). So, I either qualify for tons of aid from Ivy League schools and stanford (to which I'm applying) or none at all. :/ and these schools require you to include non-custodial parents, but he is not legally at all my father...HELP?!</p>
<p>
Is he your biological father?</p>
<p>Yes he is your NCP and he is legally your father too, unless his rights were terminated by a court.</p>
<p>Any support that your father provides (legal or not) should be reported as untaxed income to you according to <a href=“Questions About Financial Aid? - The New York Times”>http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/13/education/edlife/ask-your-questions-about-financial-aid.html</a>. </p>
<p>As far as I know but that hasn’t been verified </p>
<p>If your father does not live with you, you would fill out FAFSA with your mother’s info only, and she will be asked to report the child support. Primary home ownership is not reported for FAFSA, so that is not an issue. If your mother is truly very low income, you may have a zero (or a low) EFC and be eligible for PELL and subsidized loans. </p>
<p>However schools like Stanford, and the such, that require PROFILE, often request NCP info as well, and with your father’s income, it is doubtful you will get any aid from those schools if you are in the ball park about what your father earns.</p>
<p>Thanks! :/</p>
<p>I’m going to respectfully disagree with others here. If he’s not on your birth certificate, and there’s no legal establishment of paternity, he’s not legally your father. Your mother could move right now with you in tow, not notify him, and he’d have no legal recourse as there is absolutely nothing proving you are his child. He’d first have to establish paternity to have any recognized parental rights. For that reason, I would not list him as a NCP. I’d list your father as unknown. I know that’s morally gray, but that’s what I would do.</p>
<p>The money & other support he gives your mother, however, should definitely be reported.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This isn’t morally gray; it’s just wrong. The father isn’t unknown, he makes $300k, provides a home, weekly child support, and pays all the bills. Why should a college or taxpayers foot the bill for this child to attend school? </p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with reporting things to your advantage if it is perfectly legal/kosher. Sole legal and physical custody is not the criteria though (though it sounds like he could easily establish paternity if he wanted to, but that is no matter.) She has lived with him. The mother has joint property with him. So I don’t see how you tell the college the father is unknown and then explain that entangled financial situation. It certainly would look like you were trying to put something over. And I do think she would have to submit a Non custodial parent waiver. So will have to lie and say that the father is unknown. And there would have to be supporting documentation to that effect like the letters that come from her school or clergy or whoever the third parties are. Murky waters, a bit of a mess. (Too little child support paid.)</p>
<p>Here is some except from one college about the NCP waiver:</p>
<p>Noncustodial Parent Statement. Include a description of the history and current status of your relationship with your noncustodial parent, the history and frequency of any contact you have had with that parent, and a history of any financial support provided for you by that parent.</p>
<p>…simply writing on the Noncustodial Parent Statement that the whereabouts of the noncustodial parent are unknown is not sufficient to be considered as a waiver request. </p>
<p>@danfireflames have you discussed college with your father?</p>
<p>This is a gray area, if it is indeed not known if this person who the OP considers his father, is his father. There is that old expression about ducks, “if it walks like a talk, quacks like a duck…”, .So if this person is listed on all school paper work as dad, if OP is being claimed as a dependent on tax return and claimed as son for insurance and other purposes, all of a sudden, he’s not Dad for sure is likely to bring up some questions. Yes, there are situations where the true dad is not listed on the birth certificate but a person is dad nonetheless. Where the line is drawn on these things–where the rubber meets the road, I do not know. I guess the first question to ask is whether or not, he is indeed your father and if he has been claiming you as his chlld on other paperwork. </p>
<p>Yes he isn’t having anything to do with paying for my college, which is where I meet a pickle, per-say. Because of his income, I have absolutely no financial aid from any schools, other than FAFSA. So no I’m stuck putting up what a child living in an upper-middle class home would have to while I don’t live in an upper-middle class home by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t know what I’m going to do about this, let alone worrying about actually getting into college.</p>
<p>What doesn’t your father want you to go to college? And why didn’t your mother then go after proportional child support and a college fund settlement? Does she also not care if you go to college?</p>
<p>Be sure to read the threads on automatic full tuition/full rides you will qualify for some, so those can be your safeties. Also you should try some of the competitive ones if your stats are in line. </p>
<p>Automatic
<a href=“http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/”>http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/</a></p>
<p>Competitive
<a href=“Competitive Full Tuition / Full Ride Scholarships - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums”>Competitive Full Tuition / Full Ride Scholarships - Financial Aid and Scholarships - College Confidential Forums;
<p>
</p>
<p>It sounds like there are a lot of unanswered questions. I’m not sure you’re ready to ask the questions and that’s ok. Not desiring clarification is an answer all by itself. BUT, feeling sorry for yourself is not helpful. My own kids are in an upper middle class situation and also don’t qualify for any aid. But we (their parents) are refusing to pay a Stanford sized tuition - nor could we do it and continue to save for retirement, heat our home and eat. In fact, I would wager the vast majority of parents in our financial situation (too rich for aid, too poor to pay 60k+) feel similarly. Your dad may well be in that boat. Parents like that are not necessarily hanging out here on CC. Most of them just send their kids to state school or schools where their kids got enough scholarship money to make what they will pay work and then both the parents and the kids move on with their lives. </p>
<p>My point is that all college students need to work with the resources they’ve got, and if their main resource of funding is their parents, there usually aren’t unlimited options for them - even sometimes for those kids in the 300k families. And right now, you need to figure out exactly what your options are and move on from there. If what you’ve got is aid from FAFSA only schools, and perhaps some amount of child support funds from your dad, then you can pursue that. If you want to expand your school choices, then go ahead and include some profile schools that will give you merit dollars, but know that if you give them your dad’s financial info, you will not be getting FA dollars from them due to your dad’s very high income. Perhaps if you’re ready to nail down the truth of your situation - and find out exactly why your dad is not on your birth certificate - you may have other options. </p>
<p>Is your state college FAFSA only?</p>
<p>Well it would be a SUNY school, but I wanted to avoid a SUNY school if financially feasible.</p>
<p>There are MANY SUNY schools, and none require non-custodial parent information. If your mom’s income (including her child support ) is sufficiently low, you would be TAP eligible, right? The SUNY schools are very diverse, and NY is a large geographic area state. </p>
<p>It sounds like you want to either go to an expensive OOS public university or a private university. In the vast majority of cases, the schools will want NCP information. OR you will have to show good evidence that this NCP is inaccessible. </p>
<p>Since your NCP pays support, I can’t think how you would document that your family has NO contact with him.</p>
<p>Gonna point out the flaws in your plan including why you most likely will not get a non custodial waiver.</p>
<p>The first your high school is going to do is search your school records. I am willing to bet $ that while your father’s name may not be on your birth certificate his name is in your school records when your mother registered you for kindergarten</p>
<p>I am also willing to bet that your father is somewhere in your files as an emergency contact (as schools are required to hold on to those blue cards). This is the first thing that your school is going to check before any one puts their license on the line on an ethics charge or ruin their relationship with a college.</p>
<p>As you already know if your mother does not work, any monies received, the payment of the bills and child support must be reported as income on the fafsa.</p>
<p>If she doesn’t report it and she doesn’t work or collect public assistance it will automatically trigger a low income verfication. The college is going to want to know how you are eating everyday.</p>
<p>Your father is no dummy: in the state of NY, if you have a court ordered child support order, one must pay child support until the child is 21 years old. Your mom could ask that the support order stay in place until you or if you have younger siblings with the same father complete your first undergrad degree, paying a portion of college separate from the child support order.</p>
<p>The fact that your father has willing paid child support and pay bills may be enough for the court to establish paternity, because he has established a history of taking on that role. If your mother were to take your father to court, he would minimally have to pay 17% of his income (federal minimum) in child support for one child, 25% for 2 kids or 35% for 3 or more kids and health benefits. Again, if you have siblings it is cheaper for him to pay the bills to support your mom than to pay court mandated support. Again, willing to bet $$ if your mother ever took your father to court, he would be quick to pull out his records demonstrating that he has paid support and expenses for all of these years.</p>
<p>If your father is paying the mortgage on the house, he is writing off the interest on the mortgage (since your mother probably is not because she has no income) even if it is not his primary residence. I am also willing to be that he is probably claiming you and your siblings (if any) on his taxes as dependents (again, he is probably no dummy). This is going to get flagged by TAP (NYS aid who does verify your information (minimally run your social security number) against the NYS/Federal Income tax data base). This will prompt a letter stating that you are showing up on someone’s taxes and you will will have to supply their financial information.</p>
<p>If you are low income and get accepted for EOP at SUNY schools or HEOP at NYS private schools, you must provide non-custodial information (since they provide federal and state grant aid first, you would most likely be flagged by TAP). </p>
<p>Long story short, your father is your non-custodial parent. It does not matter whether or not his name is on your birth certificate (as he may not have been in the room when the hospital personnel was taking the information for the birth certificate and they cannot put his name on the BC unless he signs giving permission). Whether or not you see him regularly he has established contact by paying support and paying your family’s expenses. </p>
<p>I am not going into your situation as to whether or not you can get a NCP waiver or need one. That’s a discussion you need to have with your parents and counselor. Sybbie’s experienced in this area and has given you her take on this.</p>
<p>You are not in an unusual situation at all. If you read these boards, there are many, many students who are in the same predicament. What the colleges expect them to pay, they can’t Most colleges don’t meet need anyways. My kids had to pick schools that cost well below our EFC for them. And one of mine went to a SUNY. We know many, many kids commuting to local colleges coming from very well to do families. A lot of parents won’t or can’t pick up the cost of an away college. Do you go to private school now? Most high schoolers don’t go to private or boarding schools, but then come college time they think they are entitled to go away for school, go to a private $60K+ a year college. YOu no more are entitled to that than you are to go to Andover or Exeter. Some kids get brand new cars, luxury models paid in full, insurance and upkeep covered. Most don’t. Mine didn’t get any cars from us. Some get the grand tour of Europe. A wonderful thing. But most, again, don’t All luxuries, just as going away to college, going to a private college is a luxury. </p>
<p>Here in NY, the SUNYs require only the FAFSA which uses only custodial parent info. That will get you tuition covered at most any SUNY and we are so lucky that we have so many state school, with one likely near any NY location. So just like your high school in your school district, that will be available. Private college, boarding, that is up to your parents to pay unless you get a merit award. IF you have the numbers that could get you serious consideration for Stanford or the Ivies, you will be in the running for some good merit awards. SUNY Buffalo has some great packages. Look at the posts at the top of this board and you’ll see some schools that offer big merit money. You truly are not alone in this sort of thing. </p>
<p>Please do not turn your nose up at the instate schools (which many students from outside your state gladly pay extra to attend). Take advantage of TAP. The SUNYs have something for everyone - urban, rural, suburban, artsy… You can always move OOS after college (like many other graduates).</p>