Hello, I am currently a freshman at Cornell university and to be quit honest I absolutely hate it here. It is about six weeks in and despite my many, many, many (joining clubs, sitting with strangers in the cafeteria, etc.) efforts I have not been able to make anything that even remotely resembles a friend. I am not a strange person or even an introvert. This, lately, has been causing some depression and I just feel awful all the time. It is all that I can think about. I have considered transferring to VA Tech but I have heard bad stories about transfer students struggling at new schools. However, Cornell seems like the perfect school for me besides the people who are either super preppy or super nerdy. I just can’t find anyone that I can connect with it at the moment it all seems very hopeless. If anyone has any advice or anything at all PLEASE HELP!
Hi dazed. I’m a mom. I’m so sorry you’re feeling down. Have you talked with your parent(s) or anyone at Cornell? How about your advisor?
I can tell this feels awful right now. First and foremost keep primary focus on your studies, dig in,that is the primary reason you chose Cornell. Staying on top of your studies will be the number one best thing for your confidence. Just continue to do what you are doing to reach out to people and relationships are likely to unfold. Try smiling and being friendly, invite someone for a coffee or tea and talk and get to know them. Keep trying clubs, volunteering, an internship, or job. Be patient, give it time, don’t give up. It takes time to cultivate relationships when you uproot yourself and go to college.
Thank you this is helpful! Yes my parents know what is going on and are very supportive
Hi dazed. I am a mom and a Cornell alum. Trust me, you are not the only one. By far. Even though it looks like others have tons of friends and are having fun all the time, don’t believe it. You WILL find your group of friends. It takes a while. Something I’ve observed is that friendships start to form and gel after a turning-point event around which people in close proximity coalesce – for example, midterms when everyone on your hall is stressed together; or some kind of drama that happens on your hall; or when you come back to school after Thanksgiving and out of the blue everyone is happy to see each other again. There’s always some kind of turning point that you can’t predict.
Have you gone to the gym? If you go at the same time every day you’ll see the same people. Does your club require a lot of interaction with the other members? I always recommend the Cornell Daily Sun. Those people always become very close.
In the meantime, it would be helpful to go to CAPS at Gannett and talk to a counselor there. Their entire patient population now is freshmen feeling the same you you do.
Six weeks is a short amount of time. Hang in there!