Please, I need help from parents.

Parents Forum
1

<p>I visited Hampshire last week -- I really, really should have before I applied -- and basically hated it. The campus is ugly, I didn't like the idea of 75% of the student body having single rooms, the student body seemed so far off from what I'm like... It just all-around turned me off. I really dont' know if I can see myself there for the next four years of my life. But they gave me a great financial package -- I will have no loans when I get out and head off to grad school. But I don't know if I can rationalize going somewhere that I dislike so much. Now my mom wants to take me back to "look again" which basically means she's going to try to force me into liking it. I'll give it another chance, but I don't know it there's a block there or not.</p>

<p>Then there's Wells -- they gave me a scholarship as well, but not as much as Hampshire. The atmosphere is more me, but it's still not ideal. And yes, I realize that no college will be ideal but Wells seems to be an extension of high school. It's tiny -- like, it gives a new name to small liberal arts. Everyone knows everyone, but it also has the extension program with Cornell and Ithica...</p>

<p>And Bard. Their financial package is ridiculous. I don't know how they think that we can pay that. $90,000 in loans?!! We asked for another review, but I doubt anything is going to change. But Bard is the school that I can see myself fitting in the best at. Academically, it may not have the same opportunities -- Hampshire with the five college consortium and Wells with Cornell and Ithica -- but it's the best fit.</p>

<p>So. How much does atmostphere matter? Is it worth going into grad school with sky-high loans? Probably not. But is it so insignificant as to overlook it completetly? I don't know.</p>

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<p>you might not like what I have to say but I would really consider trying Hampshire out for a year. Get involved and really give it a chance. If you are still dissatisfied you can transfer to Wells. </p>

<p>You may also share their FA package w/ the Wells FA office and ask them if they can do any better. </p>

<p>Worse case scenario, you have one debt free year behind you before starting at the college you really like. Best case scenario Wells comes up with extra bucks for you and you go there in the fall or in another best case: you fall in love with Hampshire after all and graduate debt free.</p>

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<p>Yes, try Hampshire! Transfer if you are unhappy. You might just have not met the right people. Something must have interested you in Hampshire in the first place. Hang out at the other 4 consortium colleges if you need to get away! No point in putting yourself in debt if you don't have to!</p>

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<p>I think looking again at Hampshire is a good idea...</p>

<p>Also, living in a single is not a bad thing...</p>

5

<p>Living in a single in an environment where many people live in singles is not an obstacles to socialization at all. Just leave your door open.</p>

6

<p>Is there any way you could spend a night in a dorm at Hampshire?</p>

7

<p>
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I didn't like the idea of 75% of the student body having single rooms

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</p>

<p>Having a single room in college is great! You can listen to whatever music you want, stay up all night, sleep all day, and have visitors whenever you want, and you don't have to worry about bothering anybody, or them bothering you. You get the entire closet to yourself, and you get to decorate all 4 walls to your liking. It is easy to socialize, just leave your door open. Roommates do not automatically become friends, and often times they annoy the heck out of each other. So don't think that having a roommate will help you make friends.</p>

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<p>Take another look at Hampshire!! I went to Smith in my first year and we had some Hamps in our classes and they were actually really motivated to do well academically. Hampshire students are the ones who actually use the 5 College system - totally opposite of Amherst. You can take classes (w/ ur FA package) literally for free at great schools like Smith, Mt. Holyoke, and Amherst . The only major difference is that you just won't have that degree.</p>

<p>Take the chance, take classes off campus and see if you like any other campuses better and apply there for transfer so you can have that degree.</p>

<p>Single is great actually. See what UCLA Band Mom said. Leave the door open for others to barge in and say hi!</p>

9

<p>Congratulations on your achievements - Hampshire must really like you. I also would love to see you give them a chance. The fact that they are part of a consortium seems to off-set a lot of the negatives. I had a single room freshman year, after two horrible roommates, and it was the best of all my housing experiences in college. </p>

<p>However, I personally would not force a kid to go there if he didn't want to - because I think he would fail. He would decide in advance that it wasn't going to work, and he wasn't going to like it, and it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. He would probably fail all his classes then, to subconsciously "prove" that he was right, and it would be a year of his life wasted - not even saving us any money, since he'd have to do the year over again - if he could get someplace else to take him.</p>

<p>So unless you can actually convince yourself to give it "the old college try," (pun intended) I would recommend you go elsewhere, or take a year off and get a job. </p>

<p>(By the way, the kid in the above example is fictional - my real kids generally go in with the attitude of making the best of what they get.)</p>

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<p>I agree with many of the above (and your mom!): Take another look. Try to go with a good attitude and really look around for people you might connect with socially. Ask about what clubs and activities there are to get involved in. Also, I don't know when you visited, but my guess is that the campus gets much prettier, and much more socially active, over the next couple of weeks as the weather improves and people move outside. It can't hurt to go back and give it another chance.</p>

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<p>I clearly recall on our visit to Hampshire that there were singles built but with a furnished lounge room at the end of each hall to make friends. You can solve so many roommate problems by not having one, and it's not like everyone else has a roommate except you. Mostly they'll all be looking for other people to befriend. The assigned freshman roommate isn't necessarily going to be your best friend; this way, with singles AND the lounge, you can pick your friends among a dozen or so people on your floor. </p>

<p>At your first visit, did you get onto any of the other campuses? Hampshire was founded so students could partake in the other 4 campuses,although there are also some Hampshire classes. You are encouraged to go to all campuses. So you can really define your own path there. Scheduling many courses elsewhere and using the free bus between campuses is the norm, I understand. </p>

<p>You have the chance to work steadily towards an individual senior capstone project that you design. That is unique and motivating. The American documentary filmmaker Ken Burnes went to Hampshire and began his career there because he could define his own coursework. They do have core requirements, but many ways to satisfy them. </p>

<p>When you return to Hampshire, see what it feels like in some of those lounges, and realize if the campus seems a bit empty it's because everyone is off at Smith, Amherst, Mt. Holyoke or UMass. Really you didn't see Hampshire if you only stayed on that campus, so shuttle around and see the other campuses. You can also get into EC's at the other campuses. Look up the Five College Events Calendar, not just Hampshire calendar, right from home.</p>

<p>Spend a little bit of time in the Town of Amherst, too. ANd yes, if you saw it on a bad weather, early Spring muddy day, that can't be helpful. It's pretty in Fall, Winter and late Spring, but a bad winter day or an early spring day is a downer. </p>

<p>See if they still have the option to get your first-year courses letter-graded, in addition to the anecdotal feedback (essays) the profs write about you for the term report. That will let you decide to transfer after a year, and you'll have grades. IT was that way 5 years ago.</p>

<p>Bard and Hampshire kids are all pretty creative and interesting, non-conformist...maybe you just lucked into some people by chance at Bard and missed some chances at Hampshire? I think they have relatively similar unique students at both places, so maybe just better luck this time bumping into people.</p>

<p>Yes, Hampshire college looks plain-Jane, I do agree. Try to look at the entire region of the 5 colleges this time, and realize you don't just sit on the Hampshire campus 24/7. Especially don't miss going over to Northampton, where Smith is. Great town, see the Main Street, it's amazingly interesting there. On your next visit, spend time in the towns, not just on campus, because the students there do that a lot and so would you.</p>

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<p>I realize that the opportunities Hampshire can provide me are amazing, and I really think that I could flourish there academically. Like your children, binx, I tend to make the best out of what I have. I'm still just really worried that the social aspect isn't me.</p>

<p>I will go back and visit again, as you all suggested, and I will also attempt to set up an overnight. I'm hoping that if I go into the visit really wanting to like Hampshire, I will.</p>

<p>Thanks for all of your input... If anyone has any more I would really appreciate it.</p>

13

<p>sammielue, your position sucks. I'm glad I'm not in it now, but here's my 2 cents anyways.</p>

<p>Take a few minutes RIGHT now (well, when you're done reading this) to just relax and think. I'd start with a snack and a good song. Here's what I want you to think about:</p>

<p>It's your first day of college. You just finished moving in, your parents are gone, you're on your own. What do you go do? What do you do after that? Did you make a new friend? Are you scared, nervous, excited, all of the above? As you go to bed your first night, how do you imagine you'll feel? Is your bed comfortable? Do your neighbors have their music too loud? Fast forward to your first weekend. Who do you want to go out with? Where will you go? Are you going to pre-game? Do you like the college party atmosphere? How well have you figured out campus? Now, go on to first day of classes. Did you get the right books? How are your professors? Did you have trouble finding your way around? Where did you go to lunch? How many hot people did you sit by? Which class seems best? GO THINK.</p>

<p>When you get back, you're probably going to realize that the atmosphere you set yourself up in wasn't anything specific. You probably weren't wearing a school hoodie, you didn't see any university's seal on your folder, and your roommate probably didn't have a face. So what does this mean? You just mapped out your ideal first few days and didn't even have a concrete destination. Basically, you're going to do the things that you just imagined no matter where you go.</p>

<p>And THAT is the key. High achieving kids like you are going to do great things no matter where you are. Your undergraduate experience is shaped so much more by YOU than it is by your location. You have the power to make it work, so do it! I ended up at my bottom of the list safety this year and looking back think I'm crazy to have wanted to go anywhere else.</p>

<p>Go to Hampshire. Seize the challenge, leave debt-free, and fall in love with a school you didn't want to. You won't regret it!</p>

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<p>Sammie, all colleges come with their own set of problems. I think sometimes "fit" is over-rated because you make that decision based on an impression that has very little to do with the reality of life on campus. You are also in a situation where you have, in your mind, the false choice of Bard -- it is "false" because you cannot afford to attend, so it isn't really an option. </p>

<p>The really cool thing about Hampshire is that it is so flexible and that you have the resources of the consortium at your disposal. So you can't really decide that it won't fit unless you are sure that you won't find activities that interest you and compatible people at any of the other 4 campuses. </p>

<p>You have been given a very great opportunity financially. If it were a different college, without the resources of the consortium, then I think you would really have to think twice. But I think that you would be foolish to turn away the opportunity before you because of a worry about "fit". The very best thing about Hampshire is its flexibility, which really gives you the chance to make things fit if you simply are willing to work at it.</p>

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<p>This thread is a prime example of why you must visit your schools prior to applying in the Fall of your Senior year. It is way too late to be asking "fit" questions the middle of April.</p>

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<p>Hi!!! We have chatted a couple times because you and my son applied to a number of the same schools. Now that you have the list of where you got in, make the most of it. I will give you some different advice: go where you want to go the most. You live once so go to the school you most want to go to. Then, don't look back. I was very impressed with Wells and it was in my son's top three colleges. Hampshire, well, you aren't in love with it. Bard, seems like a good fit. I really hope you end up at a college you love. You seem like a great kid! There was a time when I thought you and my son would be at Wells. Let me know where you choose. Good luck!</p>

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<p>I cannot agree with jollymon that you even consider Bard with that load of debt. It would be a crushing burden. Visit Hampshire and the surrounding schools again with an eye to the opportunities. I think you'll see a lot to love.</p>

<p>A friend's daughter is a first-year there. She LOVES her single--no roommate worries--and has made close friends and taken great classes. She's found a friend to compose music with, something she'd never done before. She told her Dad that Hampshire is everything she hoped it would be. Go take another look at this school that loves you.</p>

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<p>Piling on here:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>This thread is a great example of why visiting colleges is overrated. The OP is reacting to Hampshire's non-classic look, to 5-10 random students he may have met, and to his ideas about what singles may mean. A month into college, none of that will matter. He'll be used to how the buildings look -- he may never love them, but they will be familiar -- he'll have found other kids like him, he will be having the social life he wants to have.</p></li>
<li><p>With its curriculum and the 5-college consortium, Hampshire is uniquely open-ended. A student can really make of it what he or she wants. That doesn't mean that it should be everyone's first choice, but it's hard to justify it being anyone's LAST choice. No matter who you are, it's far from a bad place to be. Especially without debt.</p></li>
<li><p>Wells may have a program with Cornell and Ithaca, but it is a LOT farther from them than Hamp is from the other 5 colleges in its consortium. I doubt the programs are equivalent on a practical, day-to-day basis. Students really USE the 5-college consortium (as someone noted, especially Hamp students, since it has the fewest "domestic" offerings, and was essentially designed to use the other four colleges resources).</p></li>
<li><p>I know other people have had different reactions, but my subjective impression has been that Bard and Hampshire students give out almost identical vibes. Lots of people on CC adore Bard, and they have forced me to revise my views somewhat. But I'm still skeptical that the OP views the two schools as so different in terms of personality.</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>I can not thank you all enough for the help you're offering -- I knew the parent's forum was the right place to post this. Just a couple of things: I would have loved to visit Hampshire before applying, but it wasn't possible. I made a good number of my decisions as to where to apply based on how things looked on paper because my family wasn't able to visit many schools at the time. It would be ideal for an applicant to visit each school he or she (and for future refrence, I'm a girl) is applying to, but sometimes it just isn't possible. Hence my situation.</p>

<p>And I think that a lot of you are right -- "fit" is really what you make it. That's why I intend to give Hampshire the best chance I can... Bard is completely off the table. And JHS, you're right that Bard and Hampshire have the same type of students. But as vibe tends to work, I got diffent impressions of the general feel of both schools and it would be impossible for me to explain to you what originated them. Perhaps it was the non-classic look of the campus or the one girl who was rude, but the feeling was there.</p>

<p>Kristin -- your post was amazing, really. Thank you.</p>

<p>Jollymon -- will your son be attending Wells? I hope he is happy with his final decision as well. </p>

<p>Again, thank you all. If anyone has anything else to add or has any questions or anything, I would love them.</p>

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<p>I wish you the best of luck also. Go to Hampshire. Make the most of it and have a ball! I think it will be a great fit for you. My son has decided agaist Wells. In fact, I just mailed the letter saying he wasn't going. It is down to Skidmore (starting in London) and Ithaca College. The whole family is rooting for Skidmore even though my wife and I are both Ithaca Alums. Good luck to you. I bet you just love Hampshire and have the time of your life!</p>