Please inform schools quickly!

<p>My son kept dropping schools about three weeks ago as he narrowed down decision. Made decision last week and notified last school immediately after.</p>

<p>Frankly, telling schools that we were withdrawing the acceptance was harder than I imagined it would be. I did this for my D to save her the time. Turning back financial packages that greatly exceeded what we got at her final choice made me hesitate each time before I hit that SEND button. Glad that is done and behind us and now to focus on the good (not the money)!</p>

<p>I completely agree with prntosome and had a similar experience. Two of my son’s acceptances were wonderful schools that he would have been happy attending and were a good fit but the financial aid package was not in any way workable so those were perhaps a little easier to say good bye to. He was offered a full tuition scholarship at Rhode Island College for the dance program (all four years) and another $3,000 from theater as well as a hearty financial aid package. That was the most painful decision of my life letting that go especially to attend a program overseas with no financial aid (albeit less expensive than the first two schools). He is going where he feels is the best fit for him and we are letting him do it. He will have to do his part to make this work.</p>

<p>Michigan BFA MT accepted my son yesterday. Son of grayhairedman is still happy with his decision to attend Texas State for qualitative reasons and financial reasons to boot. But I offer this for information purposes both for this year and future years that the dominoes of acceptances and declines is hitting the waitlists now.</p>

<p>Greyhairedman- how does a school offer a place once you’ve already withdrawn your application? Just curious. We withdrew all applications from schools that my D got in to after we put down our deposit for her committed-to school. Just curious as to how that works as part f the dominoes falling?</p>

<p>prntosome - I guess it’s the same way my S got merit scholarships last week to schools he didn’t even apply to. He got 2 or 3 scholarship letters last week - saying please apply - we will give you this 4 year scholarship. He also got an acceptance, scholarship and a “please come audition” to a school we started the application process with, but never completed (because he changed his mind).</p>

<p>He was on the waitlist, not accepted. There was nothing to withdraw was there? But Michigan is an exception with the way they handle the WT. Someone else will get the call. Most programs over-accept and may never get to the the waitlist unless the yield is unusually low.</p>

<p>prntosome, perhaps greyhairedman’s S did not decline his waitlists yet?</p>

<p>I will add that, when my D declined one of her acceptances last week, the director did write back to “sweeten” the offer. So she had to decline twice. LOL.</p>

<p>This is our first time through the college process, so much of what happens is still a mystery. I’m learning. We were told by our college advisor to withdraw the wait listed schools as well. They told us not to stay on the wait list unless you would DEFINITELY take that school if room opened up. I know some folks stay on wait lists just to see if they get an eventual offer (very tempting indeed) but we were told not to do so. I’m not saying that is what happened to the above - but I was just curious.</p>

<p>Rule of thumb at our school is that you only stay on multiple wait-lists if you have ZERO acceptances. Otherwise, stay on one only–and only if you would definitely attend. I can’t imagine what other motivation you might have for remaining on a waitlist if you had no intention of going to that school. Glad to see so many people here are thoughtful and honest enough to decline those waitlists when appropriate–it’s the right thing to do.</p>

<p>That doesn’t really make sense to me (as a mere observer.) If you are waitlisted for two schools that you would rather attend than the one you’ve “settled” for, why would you decline either waitlist? Particularly if the chances of getting into either were slim.</p>

<p>Well, I’m talking about doing that if you’re desperate–I guess what you describe is also desperate?–but it can bounce back badly on the high school, which I guess is why our college counselors don’t endorse it. Again, in the very rare situation where a kid has ONLY wait-list results, it’s different, but otherwise we really try to make sure the kids are super honest and say “If I’m accepted off the wait list, I will attend,” which is sketchy to say to more than one college. In our case, also, the colleges are familiar with our school, and they do remember. It’s sort of like when a kid has an early decision acceptance and then turns it down for questionable reasons–they can get away with it, but it tends to become part of the school’s reputation, at least with a small school like ours. If we go to bat for a student and encourage a college to take them off the wait-list and then they don’t go, it can damage trust.</p>

<p>That’s true, but there is a difference between sweet-talking many colleges and not meaning it (why? to add notches to the belt, I suppose) and truly preferring the wait-list choices over acceptances. Another issue is that being accepted from a waitlist does not guarantee enrollment-- financial aid details will generally come first. Unless, of course, money is no object. </p>

<p>If you are waitlisted at colleges A and B, you may not know whether either will be affordable until financial information becomes available. It would not make sense to limit your own possibilities out of deference to the hypothetical relationship between your soon-to-be-former high school guidance office and the admissions counselors of a college you may not be able to attend.</p>

<p>I agree. So the reminder is, when you accept a spot in a program and you are sure none of your wait-listed schools will change your mind, decline those spots as well. Maybe some people don’t think of that right away because they are not “acceptances”. There are indeed kids out there that don’t have a single acceptance they can take, and are anxiously waiting to be called off those lists.</p>

<p>Yes, the process is mysterious and different at each school. Yes, my son had accepted Texas State but you can withdraw if you get a better offer. We did not know what the offer would be. Michigan does not communicate much with their waitlisted students. I mean actually none. Not since the communication about the waitlist. Not interested in notches on belts, but certainly open to see what a school (top tier) might say and / or offer financially. We will always listen to an offer. </p>

<p>We reviewed the offer, talked to admissions and then discussed at home. Took us a little while since son was opening a show, but…declined quickly in less than 24 hours.</p>

<p>Oh, and son has been on these waitlists for a long time. Weeks. There is not a covenant which says, “If given a spot, will you absolutely accept.” Back in the early acceptance weeks, they are asked if you want to be on, NOT if you are accepted will you attend. Everyone has the right to hear the entire offer and consider.</p>

<p>@ Times 3, I also do not follow the logic about only accepting “one” waitlist. How do you know which school will actually need to go to their waitlist? How do you pick the right horse? What if, you pick only one waitlist, but it is the other one that goes to it. If you will consider offers from both, then accept both waitlists. Then listen to their offers. Then decline or accept according to your wishes. It is not a game and a lot is at stake. Yes, there is courtesy involved for other students waiting, but a student has worked hard to get accepted or waitlisted. If they want to consider a school and listen to an offer, they have a right to do so in a timely and courteous way. </p>

<p>And where do you get these “rules of thumb” anyway? The schools that waitlist the student sets the rules in each and every case.</p>

<p>I believe Times3 is talking about the private school where she is a teacher. At that school, it is a rule of thumb as it pertains to the graduating seniors at Times3’s school. She is not talking about rules of thumb at any colleges.</p>

<p>Times3 - correct me if I’ve got that wrong.</p>

<p>Yes, thanks Marbleheader. I see that times3 said “at their school” now. Still I don’t understand the logic of it.</p>

<p>@prntosome, How can you know whether you will accept the waitlisted school unless you hear the offer. It is not a yes or no decision at some schools. There are scholarships, financial aid, and many variables at play. So, of course a student who has "earned’ the waitlist has the right to hear the entire offer and decide. It is not black and white.</p>

<p>Our school is similar to Times3 in that we were clearly told not to stay on a wait list unless you would accept an offer. I guess I would interpret that to include “if their financial package is good enough”. That seems fair. I am more concerned about folks who stay on the wait list just to see if they finally get an offer. That seems unfair, and morally off the mark. Truly being interested in the school, should they come through is a fair reason to stay on the wait list - and if that school cannot match your financial needs, well, that is also fair game to then say, “no, thank you”.</p>