<p>I am regrettably writing to post a sad story. My bright, wonderful son has been asked to leave his top tier ivy league school, and take a medical leave of absence for the next semester and can possibly go back in the fall of 2009. A very sad story indeed..........he became heavily addicted to video games in his senior year, we struggled with it off and on, with extremes lows and an occasional high or "bright spot" (when it looked like he was finally going to kick the habit once and for all) Sadly our trust and faith in him, did not prevail....he bought the system again back when he first started, only to have it taken away and the temptation came back once again despite my many many pleas for him to get help and he bought another we recently found out about a month ago. It explains his mood swings, erratic sleep patterns, lack of interest in socializing and overall deterioration of grades which unfortunately we didn't find out about until it was too late. He missed some finals, did horrible on others. A complete and utter disaster to say the least. We are devastated and very sad that he has blown a semester at a school most kids would give their right arm for. I blame the video games and the manufacturers most because they truly "suck them in". Please let us be a perfect example as to how damaging and debilitating these can be, virtually toxic to a young college student who needs his wits about him to muddle his way through those first few overwhelming months of college. We are going to get him professional help, likely enroll him in some kind of "detox program" which will continue to drain us as a family once again. But we call it unconditional love, and like it or not, that is what we are, victims as much as he; for the love and support we will continue to give him because he desperately needs it victimizes us as well.
I don't want sympathy, we will get through this and I can only hope it will ultimately make him stronger and a better more courageous person; having had to deal with a very adverse situation in his young life. We will persevere, please however do not let your child follow the same path, this is as told to us by the counseling center, practically an epidemic among college campuses in the U.S. right now, keep your eyes open and your ears sharp. Profound changes in personality, grades, social habits, and withdrawal from society in general are huge red flags............just wanted to share my story.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing the story. Good luck, it looks like you are doing the right thing. </p>
<p>For people who are interested, I post below a couple of related links:</p>
<p>BBC</a> NEWS | Technology | S Korean dies after games session</p>
<p>Video</a> game addiction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia</p>
<p>I am sorry this is happening, but please know that a number of kids take medical leaves/withdrawals from college- especially the Ivy schools. I personally know of quite a few. In most cases they have returned and have been successful. Hang in there and I hope your son will be willing to take advantage of the help you are getting him.</p>
<p>You shouldn't be blaming the video games and the manufacturers, you should be blaming your son 100%. That is absolutely ridiculous blaming somebody who is not responsible for his addiction.</p>
<p>It is just like blaming the casinos because you lost all of your money and McDonald's because you got too fat eating too many burgers.</p>
<p>Is this what the world is coming to? Some people in this world don't take responsibilty for their own actions and always try to pass the blame onto somebody else.</p>
<p>Also, your son is not a victim. This is absolutely absurd.</p>
<p>You are not the first to post here regarding this problem--
if you search back within the last year or so I know there was at least one other family struggling with the same thing. Anyone have the link?
Am guessing as for other addictions there will probably be a need for counseling and behavioral therapy. Do you think there might be depression or other problems in addition to the gaming addiction as well?</p>
<p>Best of luck to you and your son.</p>
<p>Until the underlying mental health issue/issues are diagnosed and addressed, the video game obsession will continue. I'm glad to hear that he will now get treatment for his problems. I agree that you should not consider or treat him as a victim. He's a person in need of psychological help but he's not a victim. If it wasn't video games, it very well would have been some other addiction (gambling, drugs, alcohol, or perhaps OCD behaviors). The behavior is merely a symptom of underlying issues. In my opinion, it's time to realize that there are mental health issues that need to be addressed. I hope an appointment with a psychiatrist has all ready been made. Good luck and we're all hoping for a good outcome.</p>
<p>1.) Wall of text, put it into paragraphs next time.</p>
<p>2.) Blaming the video game manufacturers? Yea good idea there, its more like its your son's fault and your fault. I would bet money you bought him a game system initially, therefore you initially caused the problem. Don't blame your failures or your son's failures on the video game industry. football100 is 100% right and you really need to change your attitude. People blaming everyone else for their problems is what is causing most of the problems in society today.</p>
<p>3.) Do you know the percentages of how many people actually play video games in college? I'd wager that its 90%+ of men in college play video games and < 1% experience this addiction you talk about. It is easily doable to play video games and get good grades and this is entirely not the video games' fault and I find it hilarious that instead of putting some of the blame on yourself or your son, you just throw it all on the industry so you don't have to deal with it.</p>
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I blame the video games and the manufacturers most because they truly "suck them in".
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<p>Unfortunately, if you take this attitude, you will be enabling your son. Addictions are addictions and he will substitute one self-destructive behavior with another if the underlying causes of the addiction are not dealt with, as nysmile as said. It's his problem, but you also need to learn how not to enable him, and to set some boundaries. This is probably the most important concept you need to grasp right now. Recovery and healing cannot begin until you and your family understand this. </p>
<p>The 'epidemic' you speak of only refers to the novelty of gaming addiction. Addictions are just as prevalent on campuses now as they have always been; it's just that video game addictions are a new way to manifest the addiction.</p>
<p>
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Yea good idea there, its more like its your son's fault and your fault. I would bet money you bought him a game system initially, therefore you initially caused the problem.
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<p>Not to sound like a broken record, but if you place the blame on anyone other than the person with the addiction, you're enabling them. It is not the parent's fault, although they can continue to sabotage any recovery by enabling him.</p>
<p>Iamrightyouarewrong- you are being pretty much of a jerk.</p>
<p>The OP is very upset. She is angry at what happened and it is natural to strike out at the external influence (the games). Through the treatment, she and her son will learn where the responsibility lies. </p>
<p>90% of college boys are NOT playing video games. Interestingly, my son never became interested at all. Never wanted a game system. Never spent any time playing. And he is usually "the heavy half" of anything that is out there.</p>
<p>MOWC - thanks for the edit. I was ready to put you on my ignore list ;)</p>
<p>I went to an Ivy, and knew several students who had to take a semester or longer off due to emotional problems including things related to addictions. Virtually all ended up getting back on track and graduating.</p>
<p>"if you search back within the last year or so I know there was at least one other family struggling with the same thing. Anyone have the link?"</p>
<p>HaHa- Yeah, I hit the post button and realized you had posted in between. :)</p>
<p>We are not jerks. We are stating the truth. It is absolutely absurd to blame somebody else for their addiction.</p>
<p>"Through the treatment, she and her son will learn where the responsibility lies."</p>
<p>Will learn where the responsibility lies? Are you kiddinig me?</p>
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90% of college boys are NOT playing video games.
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</p>
<p>Then he is in the 10% that don't. You would be incorrect if you thought 90% of college boys don't play video games.</p>
<p>No, I'm not kidding you. The responsibility lies with the kid, of course, but right now emotions are high and the disappointment is great. A huge part of the recovery process will be for the kid to take responsibility and for the parent to understand the root cause of the addictive behavior. It could have just as easily been drugs, alcohol or sex.</p>
<p>I guess I better blame the NFL because I got a lower grade on my final exam than I should have because the NFL "sucked me into" watching the games instead of studying.</p>
<p>I better blame Burger King and McDonald's because I gained 5 pounds this year.</p>
<p>I might at well blame College Confidential for staying on the computer too long and not egtting enough sleep. They "sucked me into" reading all of the threads.</p>
<p>Not at my kid's college. Perhaps very occasionally. They are too busy partying!</p>
<p>Iamright- Isn't it your bedtime? Nighty night.</p>
<p>Yes I'm sure you know so much more about college right now than I do and about video games. Practically every guy who would be a partier would also most likely have an xbox and be playing halo/gears of war or some other video game. Just because kids didnt play pong back when you were in college does not mean that kids don't play video games today.</p>