<p>The Assignment: Is it important to have dreams about the future or Can you live a happy , successful life without them?</p>
<p>Dreams are very easy to be made but very difficult to fulfill, they can't be achieved without Sacrifice and Sacrifice can't be achieved without a strong will inside and all of these have a conclusion: very productive progress. Dreams about the future cant be accomplished by not doing anything and sitting by motionless, waiting for it to become true. No that is totally wrong, it needs hard work and sacrifice and a very good will inside, I believe that every person who accomplished success had a dream and ambition that encourages him to do the right thing </p>
<p>Jose Marti was a Cuban revolutionist who fought tirelessly against Spain for Cubas long deserved independence. He sacrificed his home and lived in exile in New York leading his people, later he sacrificed his own life when he was killed after the Spanish American war. He could have sat motionless watching his people suffer in cuba and being beaten to death and manipulated by Spain. He did all of this because he had a motive and a dream that Cuba would one day be independent, but in order to achieve such success he had to make sacrifices and without those sacrifices and his ambition to succeed, Cuba would still be independent. </p>
<p>Ian Thorpe is an athlete who won at the 2004 Olympics, however he was mediocre swimmer but he practiced everyday multiple times day for years. Every morning at 5 a.m he would wake up for practicing sacrificing his comfort and sleep, he would practice so hard that he could sometimes vomit, That man had a dream and ambition to become the best swimmer, He fulfilled his dream successfully and made his dreams come true.</p>
<p>In conclusion, dreams about the future encourages us to look forward for a better and successful life, we must fight for our dreams to become true. One can't fulfill his dreams unless he is willing to sacrifice anything in order to make progress and success in his life.</p>
<p>My second time to write one so please grade it because I want to improve myself</p>
<p>Actually, this essay is more like what you would write for the SAT writing portion. Starting with and introduction, then giving examples, etc… this isn’t really so much what a school would be looking for your essay to them. You need alot more of you in it. Make it personal. Do you have a dream? Is there something you are willing to sacrifice for your dream? You might want to get a book or two on writing college admissions essays so that you can get a better idea of the format. They are definitely different than regular essays.</p>
<p>Did you mean to use commas (,) a lot when you meant to use a period(.)?
Aside from agreeing with the people above (which I do, heartily), the sentence structure and basic language elements need some work. Also, if you look at it without ownership, you will see that you didnt answer the question. The Q was, do you need dreams to live a succesful life. Your answer was that Dreams take hard work. I think it sidestepped the question. As an SAT grade (as you asked) it would be a high 3 or low 4, I think. You missed quite a few language elements, have some run on sentences. You used the word sacrafice (or a version of it) 9 times, and Dream 10 times. (Dream being more acceptable because it was part of the question). You did not capitalize Cuba, missed some obvious puncuation elements.</p>
<p>You can make an essay reflect on you as a person with specifically referring to yourself, but you haven’t done that here. This DOES read more like a report. It’s not really poorly written though. Also, NEVER NEVER NEVER compare SAT essays to college app essays. The former is an exercise in mechanical precision. The latter is an art.</p>
<p>No, Its a SAT essay not a college essay. I didn’t find where would I put my SAT essays and be graded so I put them here. ITS A SAT essay. thnx :)</p>
<p>As an SAT essay, probably a 3 or 4? Your writing style is very stiff, I think you should work on transitioning. And you didn’t answer the question.</p>
<p>OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH we all thought it was a college essay sorry. If you don’t repeat yourself too much and you condense it a little, and use maybe a book instead of one of the historical event then it’ll be a 5 or 6</p>
