Please please please grade my essay will grade back

<p>Hi guys so this is my first SAT essay and I am very nervous. I started to use 3 examples and then found out that I was running out of time and room and quickly cut it to 2 examples. I STILL ran out of room and time and I am getting a little nervous. I know it is not great and I included all my there and their errors and my incorrect spelling of integration when typing it up please grade it honestly on a 1-12 skill if you could what would really help would be by stating what is wrong and right with my essay. I have thick skin and know it is not spectacular so I would really apprieciate your criticism, honesty compliments and ways to improve for my next essay. THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will grade back or answer your what are my chances thread if you post it.</p>

<p>The promp is: A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always "lounging around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments." He concluded that "There is more than one way of doing good science." It was Watson's form of idleness, the scientist went on to say, that allowed him to solve "the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery of the structure of DNA." It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with efficiency. -- Adapted from John C. Polanyi, "Understanding Discovery"
Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way?</p>

<p>“If you want something done right- do it yourself” is a popular and true statement. When people are allowed to do something their own way, they do indeed accomplish more. Examples of this include the United States government, and the intergration of African Americans in the middle 20th century. If a person follows their own method when trying to accomplish this task they do indeed accomplish much more, and eventually end up achieving their overall goals.
In the United States government a lot more is accomplished if the President does what he has to do. Many United States citizens havce a lot to say about policitcal affairs, especially ones that influence their own lives. Congress gets involved in mixing in its own opinions and even the Judiaciary cold reinterpret the laws. The state governments then get involved and the combination of everyones opinions gets together pressuring the President pulling him in different idealogical directions, all while the media documents this to enrange the country even more. If the President just stated the laws to what he thought was best for the country, and ignored most of what the countries opinions on the conroversal issue was, most of the fedral bureaucracy in the united states government, and all the red tape and time complications that came with it would be eliminated. If President Obama just stated that gay marriage is legal in all states of just sent more troops to Iraq without listing to everyone elses opinions he would be able to accomplish his tasks quicker therefore being able to accomplish more. The people of the United States voted for the President and therefore they should be able to grant him the faith to make these Decisions.
The intergration of African Americans in the middle of the 10th century is another example of people accomplishing more when they do things there own way. Until the mid 1900s African Americans were putting there faith of being intergrated into our country in the hands of the government, many who favored segration themselves. IN 1954 the Browns, an African American family finally took action. The Browns sued the board of education that there daughter, who lived six blocks from a white school had to go to a school over a mile away. The Supreme Court got involved and facilities were found to be separate but not equal, and plessy vs. Ferguson was overruled. Schools were now intergrated along with other facilities in the country. Had the browns not taken action, our schools may still be segregated today.
These two examples prove that one does indeed accomplish more when one does something their own way, and takes action themselves. If one always listens to what everyone else is saying and never uses his own methods, he may be accomplishing less then he has the potential to. The United States Government and the integration of African Americans are just some of the examples that prove this theory. If you want to be accomplished more productively do it yourself.</p>

<p>bumppp please guys please</p>

<p>bumpity bumpity bump</p>

<p>I am, of course, not qualified to grade essays but I would say this essay would recieve an 8 or 9. The examples are very vague and don’t, especially the first, relate back to the prompt.</p>

<p>Sentence two needs to be where sentence one is. This adjustment will make your thesis quite obvious…As you alluded to, there are grammatical errors here and there, but these can be minimized with practice under real time constraints…after each paragraph, be sure to refer to your original thesis to be sure that you are still on track…your first example was rather vague, which will not help your overall score…Think: Direction, Cohesion, Conclusion…just came up with that. :)</p>

<p>…a few thoughts from a Writing 790er…Enjoy!</p>