please score my essay!!! help help!!

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1

<p>i don't seem to improve my essay scores. please score it and it would be wonderful if you put why. thank you</p>

<p>prompt: Is using humor the best way to approach difficult situations and problems?</p>

<p>When difficult situations approach our lives, we strive to find the best way to cope with it. Many people including researchers have said that laughing is a god way to counter hardship and it can even heal illnesses. However, laughter is not the best way to deal with a problem because it can lead to avoiding reality.
In Consolation of Philosophy, Boethius is trapped in the most difficult situation of his life. He immediately turns to his poetic muses hoping that it'd help his soul. Poetics can be a form of entertainment which Boethius somehow tried to find comfort in. That is when Philosophy barges in and chastises him for such foolish action. She refers to poetics as a useless way. Basically, entertainment that he sought joy from was useless. Instead she offers to take him on an intellectual journey to find consolation.
Another example that shows laughter isn't the best way can be seen in practical circumstances. Student Council meetings are official and imitates real meeting situations very well. Our student council plans many things for the year. However, when deadlines come around to execute those plans, some people feel anxious because they haven't done their job. We were planning a talent show last year. Our fun meetings turned very serious as the day approached. There was no laughing or joking. Everything was serious business. In the end, the talent show was a huge success enabling us to raise money for the school. Because student council is an important group, there is a parliamentarian. Our parliamentarian is never hesistant to stop antics during meetings. When serious situations are dealt in serious ways, many things can be done.
On the contrary, "there is strong evidence that laughter can actually improve health and help fight disease." In Korea, there is a club called the laughing club. It is usually for middle aged to old men and women. Many of them have suffered from depression. Yet, they are living witnesses to the power of laughter. They show that the club has helped them to see the world more optimistically. Many scientists have found that laughter is indeed healthy; such feeling releases a hormone called endolphin which helps the body positively. However, there is a significant difference between optimism and laughing off a situation in avoidance. A good balance of both is necessary.
Laughter and joy are important factors in our lives to make us happy. However, laughing may not necessarily be the best way to approach a dire situation as shown by logical Philosophy in the Consolation of Philosophy. Also, business situations are carried out efficiently without silliness.</p>

2

<p>8 :stuck_out_tongue: </p>

<p>tencharacters</p>

3

<p>^Exactly. If I am a CB teacher, that is your mark. Reasons are: You got several diction errors. Your examples are acceptable, but not vigorous. And, finally, you aren’t separating between the intro and the first para. And, if you are separating, you intro is way so long, which doesn’t work for you.</p>

4

<p>don’t use personal examples unless they are very deep and meaningful.</p>

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<p>ok thank you.
i meant to indent the the first example but i forgot that’s why it looks like it’s one long introduction paragraph.
would you mind explaining to me what kind of diction problems I have?</p>

6

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<p>“god” should be good
“hardship” should be hardships</p>

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<p>“are official and imitates” should be are official and imitate</p>

7

<p>no. way.</p>

<p>mirinda has actually corrected someone else’s grammar.</p>

<p>the world is ending.</p>

8

<p>thanks
so a few errors like that bumps me down to an 8?</p>

9

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<p>I’ll take this as a compliment!!</p>

10

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<p>Ehh, I’m not too sure on this one. But the other 2 corrections were definitely right.</p>

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<p>I think that the world would be ending if Suleyman (properly) corrected somebody’s grammar.</p>

<p>But this essay would fall somewhere in the 3-4 range (closer to a 4 than a 3).</p>

11

<p>Compare your essay with mine:</p>

<p>Using humor is not the best way to approach difficult situations or problems. Several examples from the literature and social science prove that statement.</p>

<p>Being humoristic is not the best way to behavior in confounded situations. This can be seen though the literature, the reflection of out life. For example, in article, published in the Russian newspaper, the author, well-known writer of twentieth century, viewed humor as a powerful source of not staying concentrated or focused on our main course. This truth is universally acknowledged that in most cases, being serious and indomitable lead people to achieve their goals. Personally, I think that only determined and resolute people, no matter whether adults or teenagers, can accomplish their aims. Let us consider the novel 1815 by Jane Austen, where Emma Woodhouse, a handsome and erudite woman, spent her leisure time helping her friends become married. She was very interested in finding appropriate grooms for other people. However, at the same time she let her own fate drift. Ironically while she found spouses for all her friends she remained single. Jane Austen skillfully conveyed Emma’s feelings of chagrin, apathy, and ultimately despair to her problem. What would she do? Would she approach her problem with humor? Probably not. I predict the possible answer Emma Woodhouse would give if I had a chance to suggest her to be sarcastic in that conundrum: “My eyes cannot catch the light of the humor in this problem…” Therefore, the literature, the mirror of our life, clearly exemplifies that we shouldn’t use humor as the best way to approach our problems; on the contrary, we should be determined to achieve our goals and show tenacity in our problems.</p>

<p>The Social Science Research states that people prefer being sarcastic to being serious in difficult problems because, according to them, this being helps them to relax and met their problems with the comfortable armchair pushed back. However, I consider otherwise because the statistic shows that only 0.03 percent of all people achieved their aims. Thus, probably the most part of people who voted for being sardonic, are those of 99.97 percent, whose purposes for future life are nebulous. Therefore, this analysis of social science and its statistic shows that being serious is the appearance to meet hard situations.</p>

<p>After careful analysis of the literature and social science, one could see that using humor is not the best way to approach life problems, indeed. On the contrary, we should meet our obstacles with aplomb, keeping equanimity under serious pressure of doing well.</p>

12

<p>hmm. I think your examples are great, but you only have 3 paragraphs. and i feel like it’s short. but there is a nice flow to it.
so far the only feedback i’ve gotten is diction/grammar problems. And this really brings me down to an 8?
what could i do to get a 10?</p>

13

<p>Compare your essay with mine!!!</p>