<p>Here's the prompt, </p>
<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>
<p>It is not that people dislike being part of a community; it is just that they care about their individual freedoms more. People value neighborliness and social interaction-until being part of a group requires them to limit their freedom for the larger good of the group. but a community or group cannot function effectively unless people are willing to set aside their personal interests.</p>
<p>Assignment:</p>
<p>Does the success of a community-whether it is a class, a team, a family, a nation, or any other group-depend upon the people's willingness to limit their personal interests? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>MY ESSAY:</p>
<p>When people try to further their personal interests, the progress of the community as a whole is stifled. This is because the goals of the people are all different. The best way for a community to succeed is for the people to limit their goals for the community.
In Kim Yong-Moo's novella, "Change", a community is at risk of collapse. The town which has a lot of trees and open space is set to be torn down so that homes can be built. But the community refuses to go because of their attachment to the century-old town. When the townspeople learn that the historical buildings are going to be demolished, they decide to hold a rally. But sadly, the people all have different thoughts as to if a rally is an effective solution. They all have different opinions as to where the rally is going to take place, at what time, and at what date. On Monday, business is slow and owners don't make much money, so the group of entrepreneurs say Monday is best to take a break and hold a rally. But another group says Saturday is best because that's when people are most out of their homes. Eventually, the people all get into an argument, and the rally is never scheduled, and as the anger heats up, the company arrives and tears down the town's historical buildings. The people, blinded by anger fail to see that the town is being overrun. After a few days, the town has lost many of its green spaces and the buildings are demolished. Angry, the townspeople flee.
When my soccer team was scheduled to play another team from my school, we were all at a loss as to what to do. Many of our friends were in the opposite team, and we were reluctant to play against our friends. So those of us who didn't want to play said we shouldn't play aggressively against our opponents; others, who saw that their "worst enemies" were in the team, wanted to play roughly against our opponents. We got into a heated argument, and failed to practice. When the day came, we lost the match and the players on our team who wanted to win were so angry that they quit the team. Many of our best players gone, our team never recovered.
When it comes to working for the larger goal of the community, it is crucial that we put aside our personal interests and all work to make community succeed. </p>
<p>Please score out of 12. My original essay was really bad because I didn't concentrate. So I fixed the essay a lot and here it is! I know such fixing isn't possible on the real SAT, but just try to mark my essay without considering that I fixed it. I also think this essay exceeds two pages with my handwriting.
Also, many sample essays that got 6 with two paragraphs that weren't contrasts. I know that contrasts are good, but don't criticize my essay because I didn't show contrasts. Just mark it the way CC marks it.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>WK</p>