Please score my essay :)

<p>I'm planning on taking the November SAT and I was hoping if I could get some outside opinions on my essay.</p>

<p>Does true learning only occur when we experience difficulties?</p>

<p>John Locke, the great Enlightenment thinker, advocated his philosophy of empiricism in his work, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding. He saw every individual initially as "tabula rasa," or blank slate, and suggested that everything the individual learns is a direct result of filling the mind with experience. This very idea applies even more so to the process of learning from difficulty. If the individual's capacities are never pushed tot heir limits, the lack of awareness of these skills precludes any possible heightening of knowledge. Challenge allows man to evolve, for it is the act of overcoming challenge that establishes a model for the individual to strive toward, and in the process, grow.</p>

<p>The negative romanticism underlying Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel, The Scarlet Letter, illustrates the necessity of imperfection and hardship. Hester Prynne, the main character of the novel, commits adultery and consequently must wear a scarlet letter to atone for her sin. While her physical and spiritual characteristics are favorable, the sin of adultery mars her reputation and essentially isolates her from society. However, Hawthorne narrates the story with a sympathetic view toward Hester. He compares Hester to the saintly Ann Hutchinson and suggests that Hester's daily struggle is inherently good. Although she may be imperfect and must live a life of asceticism on the outskirts of the village, the process of overcoming her trials and tribulations establish her as a "saint." Without such difficulty, Hester could never comprehend the true nature of Puritanism one of complete societal conformity. Her sin forced her to reject the establishment and undergo a subsequent edification.</p>

<p>The life of J. Robert Oppenheimer further corroborates the power of empiricism in attaining knowledge. As the revered "father of the atomic bomb," Oppenheimer was a major nuclear weapons policy expert int he U.S. government after WWII. However, his liberal attitude and push for the creation of an international atomic energy organization was met with hostile criticism from conservative right. His loyalty was questioned in a security hearing during the Red Scare and soon lost everything. Nevertheless, Oppenheimer achieved a certain personal transcendence in his later years. BY experiencing the immense pain of having his country betray him, Oppenheimer could also experience the joy in life. Though he was unable to overcome the rising tide of extreme anti-Communism, Oppenheimer learned quite a bit in the process. Most importantly, he realized the inherently selfish nature of man.</p>

<p>Empiricism, especially through difficulty, greatly enhances the learning process. Only through experience can the higher truths of the world truly be discovered.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance. I know that my organization is sort of weird, in that I pretty much use an "example" in what is meant to be my intro. Is this a problem? Any advice would be appreciated.</p>

<p>Bump (10 chars)</p>

<p>Hey herman, welcome to CC :)
I think your essay is pretty good - probably 11-12 easily
Although the set method of most SAT essays is 5 paragraphs...3 examples in body, I think its ok to do a combo of intro/an example.
There are a few grammar errors that might be a product of your typing the essay in. Either way, as long as you have time go over your essay to check for those, they won't hurt you too much.</p>

<p>The analysis on Oppenheimer is a sort of unclear near the end, and it seems like the conclusion was hastily written (but I don't think conclusions are nearly as important as intro/body). Otherwise, if you filled up the space on the 2 pages you probably will get a 12 lol.</p>

<p>thanks echelon - can anyone else critique my essay?</p>

<p>Yeah, I'd give it a 12.</p>

<p>Tangent from your essay, your second paragraph is actually incorrect in factual terms. Hawthorne actually lets the readers interpret Hester and her crime.</p>

<p>mine was much worse and i got 11 on the real thing</p>