Please Score my New SAT Writing Practice Essay =)

<p>I wrote for the prompt for the first practice test in the CB New SAT book. It's my first try, and I'm curious to hear how it would be graded.</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All out motivation comes from within.</p>

<p>What motivates people to change?</p>

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<pre><code> Change is inevitable; there is no doubt about it. Plodding along with the status quo, we go nowhere. The history of mankind is not linear - there are sharp jumps in emotion, swirling vortexes of revolution, and dizzying movements of unspeakable tragedy. But why do these changes occur? Is it not always so much safer for one just to accept life and not speak out? The answer is a resounding "No!" There are clearly times in history, like the dawn of Protestantism and the French Revolution, that compel people to take a risk, to instigate authority, to scream out for change when they feel as if their existance, be it literal or ideological, depends on it.
Many years ago, when Martin Luther posted his 95 theses in Germany, a bold call for change resonated in a society of religious corruption. Luther simply had to speak out - the Catholic church, the indisputable authority on all that was holy, was doing things, like letting people "buy their way into heaven," that Luther saw as deeply degrading to his cherished religion. A mockery was being made of his God, and he would have none of that. So, Luther spoke out against the mistakes he thought were being made by an extremely old and extremely powerful institution, and, in doing so, put his livelihood in danger. His principles compelled him to affect change, which gave birth to an era of Protestant Christian sects.
Another example of a movement in which the constituency rises up to decry what they feel is unjust is the French Revolution. It was literally a matter of life and death - the giant lower class was starving, and the miniscule upper class shrugged and turned away. Thus, a need for change, a need to be heard was felt broadly by the people of France. The Abbe Sieyes noted that the Third estate, the massive lower class, was EVERYTHING and yet they were NOTHING in terms of having a say in their government. So, a heroic and tragic democratic revolution was undertaken, which resulted in the coup of a king and the aristocracy for which he stood.
As demonstrated by the valor of those involved in the Protestant movement and the French Revolution, a certain explosive environment must be present if there is going to be huge change. And for the change to have staying power and be successful, it must be truly felt in the hearts for those fighting for it. There is change when there is no other way.
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<p>Thanks for your time, guys!</p>