Please score my SAT Essay

<p>Just started preparing for SAT esssay. Please review and help with any recommendations.</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>Since the invention of television, the medium has had its ups and downs. At first, television watching was a communal affair; the first television set owners in a neighborhood would proudly invite the neighbors in to view the marvelous box. In time, however, television came to have an isolating effect on viewers; as the painter Andy Warhol once said, "When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships."</p>

<p>PROMPT: What are your thoughts on the idea that television has turned out to isolate people instead of bringing them together?</p>

<p>My Essay:</p>

<pre><code> The television is one of the most used electronic devices, and with hundreds of channels offering hundreds of shows, there are endless possibilities for people to lounge and watch. Besides a source of entertainment, television can also be a unifier of countries and families. By watching the news or sports and other shows, one can feel connected to society in other countries as well as those in their own household.

International news allows people to find out what is happening in other countries and makes the world a smaller place. Television is a major carrier of such information worldwide, so it plays an integral part in unifying citizens in a social manner. Whenever disaster strikes another country, images and scenes of the catastrophe fill the screens of international viewers and attract their sympathy. As a result, millions of people feel the need to aid the victims, no matter how far away they are, by donating money or volunteering to help the recovery effort. Basically, television acts as a messenger for help when an international emergency occurs. Not only does it connect people with others worldwide, but also those in the family.
Every time a sports game is showing or a favorite show is on, a family conversation is always bound to spark. Television promotes discussions between family members by offering them an immense variety of matters to address, whether it be an argument over the best touchdown of the week or a favorite moment on a sit-com. Popular sporting events broadcasted on television can also create large viewing parties where neighbors get together to enjoy the game. This is a way that television gets people socially active locally.
Television is a very useful device in delivering news and showing live games. A majority of households own a set worldwide, so international audiences are guaranteed. Whether it calls for relief to crisis-devastated countries or attracts neighborhood sports watching, television can connect countries and their communities.
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<p>Your first paragraph should have a “road map”. Briefly explain your supporting examples.
Your first body paragraph seems to have structural facts, which is great, but not for the SAT. Try to analyze more and tie in the information back to your POV.
In your second body, it seems almost hypothetical. Which is known to be ‘looked down upon’. If you were aiming for an observation, make that evident by adding in personal anecdotes.</p>

<p>Overall. Your essay was nice low 3, high 4</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice! I can really use this when writing future essays.</p>