<p>You did not mention SAT testing. If your child is going to want and needs accommodations you should start the process now.
Medications- don’t assume that your child will stay on meds. My child never liked how he felt on his meds. He was under the care of a great psychiatrist who he saw weekly but they never found a med or combo of meds that my son tolerated. My S felt that the meds took away his creativity. Grades on meds A’s and B’s. Grades off meds C’s and a couple of D’s in HS. I was in charge of meds and getting him to his executive function tutor.
College- as several posters have stated in numerous threads. You can not count on what you read in books or on websites. Visit and talk with the disabilities office. See if you can observe the program. Also know that you child has to want and have the maturity to ask for the help. They will not come looking for them. For my S he has not taken full advantage of the program at his university. It is not the schools fault. My S also stopped taking his meds mid freshman year. He told me he was taking them and I would get the prescriptions refilled. He returned home both freshman and soph year with very few meds used up. Jr year he pretended for the first semester and finally admitted that I was wasting my time and money. He was not willing to take them. He is willing to live with the consequences.
Miracles of miracles my S is going to graduate.
I have known several students who have had success with SALT. It was at the time my S looked a separate application. We were told it works best with students who are proactive. Proactive is not a word I would use to describe my student. He did not apply to SALT because we felt it was not the right fit for him.
I think major choice can make a difference. My S was considering 4 different majors. He went with the major that had the greatest chance of success for graduation and also that major was something he was passionate about. I think that helps.</p>
<p>S, a freshman, is still taking meds, but refused all the help/support he had in high school. Currently having a hard time, but is only grudgingly seeking some help now. Seems to think he can tough it out, which is clearly not the case. Also seems quite depressed and occasionally distraught. School is demanding academically. He did very well first semester, but seems in danger of tanking now.</p>
<p>When I’ve touched on coming out to support him getting hooked into some services (therapist, executive function coach) he’s turned me down.</p>
<p>At what point does appropriate concern trump one’s desire not to be a helicopter parent? I don’t want to jump in and try to “fix” things, but it is hard to watch the slide that is happening now.</p>
<p>Given all the rules and regs you can’t get any info from the school (such as RAs) and they’ll tell your kid if you call them up. </p>
<p>thoughts? I know everyone’s situation is different.</p>
<p>^My boyfriend was one of those kids. It took being a junior and having too low of a GPA to still be eligible for his program for him to wise up and accept help with the ADHD-- still flatly refuses to let the disabilities office know he has dyslexia. At least for him, pushing him only seemed to make it worse-- it made him more determined to PROVE that he didn’t need help. It was only once I backed off and let him hit rock bottom that he was willing to accept help. Obviously that is not always an option and is certainly never a favorable one, but I think you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place here.</p>
<p>Thanks—good to get perspectives from people who have seen similar situations!</p>
<p>Longhaul - I PM’d you.</p>
<p>I’ve never heard of Executive Function Disorder till now. Read up on it and it sounds exactly like me. Wow.</p>
<p>My eldest has ADD. He is a hard working young man who has a decent job and owns his own home. He tested higher than his brothers who both graduated from a top 25 school and both went on to get grad school degrees. Eldest, however, never graduated from college. Did attend five years. With perfect 20/20 hindsight we wouod not have pushed him to even go. We always knew he worked hard at everything but school and would have been much happpier, not to mention wasting five years of tuition, without going to college.</p>
<p>When do you jump in? I think you lovingly outline the options: 1) pass the current course load or 2) return home. If #2 is the path,then be plain (not emotional) that he is still worthwhile, still loved, still valued – but sleeping in the basement and spending hours on line will not be an allowed option. </p>
<p>He needs to come up with a path that he wants to pursue. It could be Community College or Hamburger Haven. If he doesn’t come up with a plan, then go with him/drop him off to talk to the military recruiters (he doesn’t have to sign up, but he does need to explore that option). </p>
<p>There’s lots of material about being an “enabler” – well, one can enable another to explore, grow, and be employed. </p>
<p>I very much hope that you’ll take the attitude that not everyone does college in four straight years. A semester, a year or two or three years doing other things can actually make the college degree more valued in the long run. </p>
<p>One of ours didn’t have a great first semester. He knows we think he’s terrific (he is). We talked about course selection and he switched to another selection, which he likes much better. I calmly told him that if this semester didn’t work out, then he’d most likely be at the CC here in town for the fall. No screaming. No threats. Just reality.<br>
So far so good. It is his life. He knows he’s smart. He also knows we can’t afford to support him in his adulthood.</p>
<p>The key for my ADD S has been to not overload his course schedule. If he stays in the 12-14 credits/semester range he is very successful, more than that and it isn’t pretty. It will take him more than 4 years at this rate, but he attends a school that charges tuition by the credit hour (rather than $X/semester up to 20 credits), so the only additional charges over the 4 year route will be living expenses for the 5th year. We always tell him, life is not a race. Good luck.</p>
<p>DD has a 504 b/c of ADD. Does the 504 easily transfer to colleges? She really just gets preferential seating up front and extended time on tests if needed. Does the 504 just travel with her to college, or do we have to get newer screenings/tests? Who pays for that?</p>