Good points. I’m glad you clarified this because it’s not what I was suggesting. Good negotiators don’t overplay their hand, don’t act “tough”, and don’t disrespect the other party.
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You might also ask if there are any other scholarships or grants child could apply for, such as a department scholarship or a housing grant. There might even be some local scholarships that the school might know about.
It depends on the college, but some that are generous remain generous. If they are pulling off the waitlist they are working on getting enrollment up.
I read somewhere. maybe here on CC, a parent was “negotiating” merit aid with Boston University. They said that they didn’t want to pay what the award letter said they would have to pay. The parent said to the effect “This isn’t Harvard after all”. They didn’t get any more aid.
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Part of why I don’t miss my job includes the relatively new idea espoused by the admissions rep who said they are used car salesmen. I absolutely never saw myself as such … not in my role admitting students, and not in my role providing financial aid. I never believed in “selling” a teenager anything. I never believed in “negotiating” financial aid. I wanted to help students decide if they wanted to attend my school, and if they really wanted to attend, I wanted to help them afford it. Sometimes they would tell me that they needed another $3,000 or $5,000 a year to make it work. If they were a student that we really wanted, I would try to make it work. If they said they needed $15,000 I probably couldn’t do it. But I appreciated the fact that they were honest, and I was honest in return. What really bugged me, though - and it was an increasingly common ask by the time I left - were students who said they couldn’t afford it without a relatively large ask for dollars, I said that we couldn’t do it, and then they came, anyway. That DID make me feel as if OTHERS considered me a used car salesman. If you can’t or won’t come without a certain increase, make the ask & see what happens. But be honest.
And remember, you need to compare total cost, not financial aid. If you receive a big scholarship at an expensive school, it’s not an equivalent ask at a less expensive school.
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I’ll also add that you may have to wait and see. Back in 2017 my son was invited to a top scholarship weekend at a smallish LAC. He didn’t get the top scholarship. We still attended the accepted student weekend and after it he emailed the admissions officer he’d met at a college fair and said that he and we really were impressed with the school and it was his top choice but that we weren’t able to swing it financially with the lesser scholarship. Which was true and he accepted at a state school instead. Two days before May 1 deadline he got a call with the offer of additional merit aid to match the top scholarship. We assume others who were offered it had notified them that they were going elsewhere. We gladly forfeited the $200 deposit we’d paid to the state school.
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I don’t know. That could have involved a hit to a retirement fund, a private loan or some other large financial risk. I don’t think it necessarily means a student is lying and the parents are sitting on a gold mine. It’s not a super uncommon scenario that people don’t understand the finances until relatively late in the process and feel like they need to make something work after encouraging their kids to reach for the stars.
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I previously responded to this type of question so I am just going to repost my previous response
You must compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges. School A, which only gives need-based aid will not care what School B gave you in merit money.
The upside to need-based aid is that there will be fluctuations in student contributions as the college expects students to work and the amount they can borrow in their own name does increase, as long as your income and assets remain stable and your kid does not fail out of school, you have some idea as to what your package is going to be.
At schools that give need-based aid, it is not a negotiation, it is a financial review and they will ask that you submit the package from the other school.
It was been my experience that schools will look at what their direct head peers are giving; the Ivies will look at the Ivies and AWS. The aid package from AWS was better than her first choice Ivy and they had no loans in their package. I explained to the other school, while they were her first choice school B was a more financially feasible option for our family, when sending the package and asking for a review. Her school met the other school package. I followed up and asked was this package only for this year or if she could expect this type of package for all 4 years.
If your kid got into Harvard which has a $36 Billion Endowment and gives need-based aid to families up to $200k income and normal assets, schools with many small endowments, many small schools simply don’t have the money to match
Also with merit money, don’t forget to read the fine print:
'You must make sure that you have a four-year plan to finance college. You may get more money this year, but will you get a comparable amount in subsequent years?
What is the GPA needed to keep the money?
For some schools it just may be satisfactory academic progress (meaning nothing below a C). at other schools, it could be 3.0, 3.5, or 3.75.
Is there a phase in to meet the GPA? Do you have to maintain the GPA by the end of the first year or do you lose your money at the end of the first term?
Is there an appeal process if your kid has a 3.46 and the GPA requirement is a 3.50 (most of the time there is no rounding)?
What happens if they drop a class?
The biggest question is if your child should lose the scholarship, will the money be replaced by comparable aid?
If the scholarship is lost will the school still be a financially feasible option for your family?
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Other things to consider:
Did you read the scholarship page
Does the page tell you the scholarship levels:
For example with this score, goa and other factors you will be eligible for this scholarship
A
For a higher score grade combination you are eligible for scholarship B
X number of students are eligible for half tuition scholarship
Y number of students are eligible for full tuition scholarship
What is the highest amount of the scholarship that the school offers.
What will be the bottom line net price? you will have no leverage at a school that gives you a full tuition scholarship where the cost of attendance is $35k and a $100k scholarship (because schools like to use big numbers when giving out money) for a school that cost $55k a year.
Do your research
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Just wanted to circle back. In the end, we only went back to her top school regarding more merit. D23 sent an email inquiring about additional merit available and listed the two universities that had offered her more generous merit, with less expensive net $ costs per year. To the comments in the thread, they are all peer schools as far as acceptance rates and geography. All private universities. She touched on her two visits to the school, and why she hoped to attend.
She sent the email on a Saturday and on Monday had an email back from her admissions rep that he was happy she had so many great choices and that he would meet with Financial Services to see what they could do and get back to her that week. On Thursday she received a second email offering her additional $2K per year. Not a huge amount but a positive experience as far as asking - we did not ask for a specific amount more.
D23 and I discussed how she will work all summer and maybe make $8000 - so to be granted an extra $8K over four years for the work of one email - very worth it.
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Just in case it still helps anyone: Our son wrote a heartfelt letter (not us parents) to the Dean of Admissions, copied to his AO, at a school where he’d already gotten good merit and a need-based grant, but we still needed a little more. He felt a deep connection with this school, and he really communicated that in his letter. He referred to one other school’s offer, but not in a way that you’d call a negotiation. He received a significant increase in a renewable scholarship. Your mileage will vary. 
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