<p>Ok. I have a huuuuge dilemna. For four years,I have lived and breathed at the prospect of going to Exeter, where my super overacheiving sib has gone. My school is small and very... well... I've been constantly compared to sib for years and years. Now that boarding school is coming up, I'm not sure what I want to do. I know Exeter is amazing, with it's diversity and Harkness and town and small communities within big ones. And for some reason, since my school has a uniform, I have been just looking forward to the day where I can wear knee socks and Uggs at the same time... and be all strange of loving it. But I can only see myself doing this at Exeter</p>
<p>The thing is, do I want to be comparing myself to sib for another 4 years? WIll that happen at a school like Exeter? Am I limiting myself because Exeter is the only school I really know much about?</p>
<p>For my sib, though, I know that I would love it there. I am exactly like sib, same interests, hobbies, stregnths, weaknesses. I know I would find what I need to at Exeter. I know I can wear kneesocks and Uggs and be funky and love it, and have friends who love me for it. </p>
<p>Can that happen at a school that isn't Exeter?</p>
<p>I really like St Pauls, but I don't know it as well. Because my school is so small, I am ready to dive into a huge pond, with tons of opportunites. Can St Pauls offer that?</p>
<p>I think you just need to find a school that you love. No matter how similair you and your sibling are doesn't mean that you guys will enjoy the same school. </p>
<p>St. Pauls might be perfect for you, but so might somewhere less "known" like Loomis, or Taft, or Tabor for that matter. Just take a look at the schools and find somewhere you like. Don't limit your possibilities.</p>
<p>exeter and st. paul's are both amazing but VERY very different....i personally didn't like exeter, but only because i like smaller closer knit schools. i have tons of friends who ended up going to exeter and loving it-i also have a friend who wanted to go to exeter but ended up getting wait-listed and going to st. paul's-and she loves st. paul's now. you really have to visit the campuses and look for what you see in the school.</p>
<p>Be different! Be a counterpoint! Go west young girl. At Thacher, you'll get the same world class education as Exeter and SPS, but you'll also learn to ride horses, climb mountains, ocean kayak, enjoy spectacular southern California weather, smell the fragrance of orange groves carried on the breezes, make the best friends in the world, enjoy a completely different social milieu and end up at a fantastic college. Take it from me, a diehard East Coast boarding school graduate, you cannot get an experience comparable to Thacher anywhere in New England or the mid-Atlantic. </p>
<p>It takes some guts, some bravery, and some parental buy-in, to be 3000 miles away, but you will be SO happy you made the decision. Everything about the experience will be yours and yours alone. No sister comparisons to be found!!</p>
<p>I have an older son at one of the traditional east coast schools. His two year younger brother preferred, depending on the day, three to four schools over his brother's school. We parents took a deep breath and let him decide where he wanted to go. I think younger brother wanted to know that he was making a decision unfettered by his knowledge of his older brother's situation/school. And he spent a lot of time dating the other schools. The reason I walk you through all this is that at decision time, he ended up factoring in being with his brother very highly because he could think about it in a relatively unemotional way, due to his exposure to the other schools. A long winded way of saying go figure out where you are most comfortable and go there. You might be surprised where you end up. </p>
<p>btw, you didn't mention how far behind your brother you are - if it is two or more years - I think you will be surprised what a non issue this is, particularly at a school the size of Exeter.</p>
<p>I faced this dilemma many, many years ago: follow my sister to Exeter or go somewhere else (after receiving acceptances, I was choosing among three schools, one of which was Exeter). My sister and I had quite different interests, and she graduated the spring before I would have started. We wouldn't have been there together.</p>
<p>I ended up choosing to go somewhere else, though I've never been quite sure why. A big part of my decision was that I didn't want to follow in her footsteps (in part, I guess I was worried that she was smarter...). I had an amazing experience at my chosen school. If I had gone to Exeter, I have complete faith that my experience there would also have been amazing. </p>
<p>Exeter is a big enough school that I doubt you'll be measured against your sister that much. And the academic and other opportunities there are fantastic. If you do end up going to Exeter, I seriously doubt you would ever regret it. And it would give you another shared experience with your sister, which could be a very nice thing.</p>
<p>"It" is more likely to happen if you look at several schools and pick the one that fits you the best. Exeter may be the school for you but don't choose it just because your sister did.</p>