<p>Hi, I really want to get into Barnard/Columbia. Will you please read the intro to my common app essay and tell me what you think?</p>
<pre><code>As soon as I started singing, I realized that I had counted off the tempo three times too fast. Suddenly, my Dolly Parton cover sounded more like a frantic run-on sentence than a pleasant country ballad. There was no turning back, though; the drummer was already pounding away, and all eyes were on me. When it was time for my piano solo, my fingers jerked across the keyboard, hitting several wrong notes. After the song finally crashed to an end, I gasped a sigh of relief and returned to the audience, embarrassed about my chaotic performance. Three years earlier, when I quit classical piano, I didnt expect that trying something new would be this difficult.
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<p>Then I go into how I transitioned from classical music to pop music. I took a major risk and went outside of my comfort zone, but it has definitely paid off now.</p>
<p>PLEASE give me your feedback. What direction do you think I should take the essay in? What do you think of the intro?</p>
<p>I think it’s a strong start. It’s difficult to tell you what direction to take the essay in; ultimately, that has to be your creative process. I’m interested to see how you integrate your transition from classical to pop music.</p>
<p>I like it.
It took a few sentences for me to realize that this was a performance, though.
And maybe you could improve your vocab (I recommend changing the verb) on “hitting several wrong notes.”</p>
<p>Don’t freak out! This is a strong start! Just write the rest of your essay as though you were telling a story to someone (it’ll get your ideas flowing) and then start rewriting. This worked for me! Then you can always repost your intro on this thread!</p>
<p>Thanks you guys. Here’s another intro I wrote:</p>
<p>For most of my friends, quitting classical piano lessons was a sort of rite of passage. No longer would their nagging parents bother them about practicing daily; never again would they be forced to sit through a boring recital. Without looking back, they left Mozart and Chopin for select soccer and electric guitar lessons. However, quitting classical piano was the most difficult decision I have ever made. </p>
<p>I feel like this one isn’t as action-packed, but it’s more “me.” What do you think?</p>