<p>Do u think that people are capable of finding happiness or are they always searching for something beyond what they have?</p>
<p>Evolution is a continuous process. Man cannot seem to be stop discovering things; and along with the sense of discovery, the sense of recognition gets redefined. Man used to crave strength on the basis of physical endurance since that was how strength was defined. In modern times, everything seems to be a-click-of-a-button-away, and strength gets constantly identified on certain terms-strength is money, strength is power, strength is fame. Almost each person concerns is to have things. People have pursued, and are continuing to pursue, career to acquire power to consume and to purchase along with attaining that very vied position with certain powers. Labor is equated with dollars and money is equivalent to certain goods. If in the beginning it was food, shelter and clothing were necessary for the survival of human being, in this age it is rare to find someone be able to survive without a mobile phone or an American Express.</p>
<p>This argument can be exemplified with the examples from history. Alexander the Great for his insatiable appetite for wider territories and greater glories led him from one conquest to another. He was never satisfied with his desires. His lust to conquer more and more regions was never ending. Intoxicated with the laurels of victory, he forgot that the path of glory leads to the path of grave. On his deathbed, he realizes that his ambition was regarded as those of a madman. Hitler, being another example, to become the leader of Germany led to disastrous outcomes. This clearly tells us that man is always searching beyond what they have.</p>
<p>This statement can be detailed from literature too. Ruskin Bond's memoir 'Whats your dream' exemplifies how a rich man in his youth due to greed, jealousy and unsatisfaction lost his large empire. His desires existed regardless of their magnitude and he started taking things for granted. Complacency had set in and this all resulted in losing everything he had.</p>
<p>It is also true that if we would not have desires to achieve more our world would not have been the same what it is today. Not only our life has become happier, but also it has become more comfortable. The important discoveries and inventions have been the result of searching more and more out of the smallest thing. Our technology has been so advanced that now we have been able to reach the other planets, deal with organisms that cannot be seen with the naked eyes or even an ordinary microscope.</p>
<p>To sum up, I would like to say that technology changes everyday: therefore, the need to upgrade becomes regular. It opens new opportunities and desire to make another purchase. Moreover success does not end at what one accomplish; it gets heightened at what one have and what one can get. Despite the tabloids and reality television say on the downside of merely having things, none of these stop people from wanting more. People will not stop wanting more until their desires cease to exist.</p>
<p>There are manifold logical discrepancies throughout, though the thesis is developed in a reasonably way. Unfortunately, the flares from the innumerable grammatical errors (i.e. tense and pronoun inconsistencies) obscure the perspective of the author. The conclusion lacks controle and seems to have been done in a hurried fashion. You might have done well to build a stronger correlation between your conclusion and your body paragraphs. According to the SAT rubric, I would be forced to give this essay a 3 based on its general lack of linguistic stability.</p>
<p>"Man cannot seem to be stop discovering things." That's a 5 essay, eh? Come on, I got an 11 and my essay was leagues better than this. Perhaps he substantiated his point, but it was still really wanting in the actual conventions of writing. It's not simply a few sparse grammatical errors! You can hardly go a sentence without one. The rubric blatantly says that such a perverse treatment of grammar cannot get better than a 3. It's a fact.</p>
<p>rejoyce<<No one is asking for your opion on what the grader thinks of the essay and what's with boasting that you got an 11 on your essay? who cares about it, doing that just make you look stupid.</p>
<p>umm..you need to not shift tense. start with that. and watch out for grammatical errors. if you don't understand your mistakes, have an English teacher read this and have him/her explain them. Also, it was a little wordy. it's better to express a thought in a concise way. and i'm not sure if this is an issue with your paper, but try to vary your sentence length; i believe that is one of the things they look for. i hope i was helpful, but really, talk to your English teacher if you're really serious about doing good on the essay. Improving your grammar will help with the rest of the writing section too, so it's a good idea to brush up :D</p>
<p>Try and connect each example back to your thesis, which should be defined a bit more clearly in the intro, and do this for every example you give. I like the supporting details, but at the end I've felt somewhat disconnected and not really knowing their relevance to the topic. At the end of each paragraph, in a sentence or two, tie it back to your thesis, I think this is what alot of people forget to do, and the result is the reader being left on the edge. Try and address the topic more, about attempts to attain happiness, and their success and failures. You might want to even include definitions of the terms given, so you can better address it(in this case, what constitutes happiness). Otherwise, good essay. I'd give it about a 4.</p>
<p>Boasting? Bah! Poor grammar is the evil principle of the new world.
Then again, I'll grant that it was unnecessary of me to make that aside. I probably should have more discretion when it comes to things done online.</p>