plzz help me with my ohio state essay...

Applying to College
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<p>WHY ARE YOU CONSIDERING OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY?</p>

<p>College is said to be the best years of life accompanied with learning, growing and preparing for the future. Having completed my high school in India, I felt that I should broaden my horizons and explore the possibilities of a further education in a foreign university. After a lot of research i was attracted to OSU due to the surfeit of opportunities it offers and wanted to become a part of OSU community.
Apart from having a beautiful campus and a lively atmosphere, OSU provides a feeling of a challenging small school environment in one of the biggest campuses in the nation. The various student organisations provide a diverse environment which I feel will give me a broader insight into the various cultures of the world. I feel OSU will groom me not only academically but also as a person. The variety of courses offered at OSU will give me the opportunity to explore different subjects and expand my knowledge. I am confident that the BBA program that I wish to pursue at your renowned university will give me the necessary expertise and knowledge to attain future success. I believe that the Fisher College of Business will frame me to face the challenges of a business world boldly and help me compete on a global scale.
Moreover OSU is considered a Public Ivy League because of its incredible infrastructure and faculty who I know will help me realise my ambitions and pave my future. Another reason for me to choose OSU is because of the First Year Experience (FYE) which has kindled my interest and I would definitely like to be a part of it. I would also like to experience the sense of pride and school spirit namely the Buckeye Spirit which is associated with the OSU. I choose Ohio State University because the student diversity, strong faculty, excellent infrastructure and outstanding curriculum of your university, will enable me to build a holistic view of the business world and help me bring the best to my family business.</p>

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<p>plzzz help me out!!1</p>

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<p>With the exception of your comments about the “FYE initiative” the essay is much too generic. It seems disengaged from you, and can generally apply to any other university in the midwest. For example – substitute “University of Iowa” and its business school for OSU and the Fisher School of Business and the essay can easily apply. </p>

<p>The list of compliments regarding the university are best replaced by personal anecdotes and experiences and specific knowledge of programs at OSU. Perhaps you know alumni from your school who attend OSU, or fellow countrymen who had attended and now demonstrate leadership. Perhaps there are specific programs in the business school that you’ve researched and which you’d like to pursue. Perhaps you’ve communicated with faculty in the business school, and are encouraged by what you’ve heard from them regarding research at the unviersity.</p>

<p>What are your academic and career passions (be specific) and what is it about OSU that would allow you to grow and achieve success. Here you need details about programs at OSU, and you need to be genuinely interested in them. Don’t stray into talking in generalities.</p>

<p>Leave the comments about “beautiful campus”, “many courses”, “public ivy”, etc. out.</p>

<p>If you’ve visited the university relate an anecdote from your visit that has encouraged you to apply. If you haven’t visited the campus stay away from comments about the physical plant, student life, etc. Perhaps you’ve read research papers from the business school faculty, and from them relate to the excellence of the business program. An anecdote would help.</p>