Pocket change

Parents Forum
21

We are paying all but my son’s loans, that is, we pay tuition, room, and board, and I guess cell phone and transportation and things like sheets and small appliances, after his merit scholarship and loans.

Our agreement with my son is that if he works - either on his own or work study, we will give him $200 per month to use as he sees fit.

If he works “a little” (like 10 hours per month - his main job is very flexible as he puts in for hours), he will get $100 per month.

If he doesn’t work at all and has no huge reason, he will get $50 per month, probably as a pre-paid debit card or something.

BUT: if he swings straight As and doesn’t work, I think we’d up how much we give him.

The way I figure, it is $2,000 over 10 months, which is not crazy. He can go out once in a while, and buy some clothes or other stuff if he needs it. Or he can save it.

I don’t want to give him zero since he doesn’t have that much from his work, and when I graduated college, I was able to use my summer pay to get a car because my parents helped a little (I think $20 every month or two) while I was in college.

Right now, if he needed $20, I would give it to him, but he is the type that 4 out of 5 times I offer it when he is going out with friends, he says “no, I have it” and takes it from the money he earned previously.

22

For those of you giving your kids $200-600/month - what do they use this money for? I’m assuming it’s not for groceries if they are living off campus or something. If the kids have a meal plan and dorm, what do they need to spend money on besides an occasional night out or movies or event?

23

I give my kids $300/month. They use it for extras – movies, concerts, gas, clothing, eating out, and miscellaneous activities. My son was doing triathlon meets and had entry fees and travel expenses for events out of state/out of the area, now he’s signed up for masters swimming and has fees for meet registrations). My son also goes camping a lot and pays all related expenses (camp site fees, camping equipment that he wants/needs). He bought flowers for his girlfriend when he picked her up at the airport and bought her birthday and Christmas gifts.

I pay tuition, housing, utilities (he’s off campus), food. I reimburse for books/supplies if they tell me the amount (and give me a receipt for tax deductible items). Both kids drive cars registered to me and I pay for maintenance and registration fees.

24

My son will have a part-time job. I won’t be giving him spending money.

25

@MLM that was helpful to me. I was not in any way trying to be snarky or anything with my question. But I have read often enough on these boards about parents who say that their kids have to kick in a lot of $$ towards tuition and then pay for all their books, car, cell phone, clothes, etc etc and “I don’t pay a dime toward entertainment” etc etc. I was beginning to feel like people would think I was spoiling my son because I do pay for his car insurance and maintenance.

He did not have a job during the year in HS. We felt it was his job to do well in his rigorous course load. We still pay for his cell phone, it’s a family plan. He does work during summers and he has a job on campus and he pays for all his food outside the meal plan and and he has a girlfriend so he spends some money on dinners out etc which I don’t pay for.

He is not a clothes horse at all so I have not had to debate whether to pay for clothes. It’s all I can do to get him to buy a couple of new t shirts and retire some old ones! I want him to have a new suit, his old one is way to old and was very cheap and does not fit, so I plan to pay for that because I think it’s an investment.

HIs bank account is still tied to mine online so I can see his spending (might have to separate that now as he gets older) and I can see that he is often down to a dollar or two before payday. But I figure that is good incentive and makes him feel like his campus job is really important.

26

For my kid going out with friends for a meal is around 20. She buys makeup, shampoo, dance/concert/sport tickets, sometimes taxi because she doesn’t have a car, drinks at bars, and gifts. If she has extra money she’ll splurge on a piece of clothing that I wouldn’t normally buy for her (like a pair of cut up jeans).

27

Part of what makes these threads so hard is understanding what pocket money means to each person.

For instance, if the meal plan only covers ten meals a week (lunch and dinner) then I don’t consider the other four meals “pocket money.” The kid needs to eat at least twice a day and many of them three times a day if the don’t sleep through breakfast.

I don’t consider gas/ insurance/ maintenance for a car for an off campus student pocket change. Same with utilities.

As for clothes, some parents buy new clothes at the beginning of the year and others don’t. Is pocket money supposed to cover the clothes in between or the clothes year round. When you are talking clothes, are you talking T-shirts and jeans or dresses for sorority events?

I think there are as many variations in definitions as there are families, kids and schools.

28

@surfcity in response to what they have to spend money on if they dorm and have a meal plan. D spends that average of 200 a month on toiletries, laundry soap, hair-cuts every couple months, replacement school supplies, etc. There has been additional reading material that professors or mentors recommend throughout the semester. Occasional movie or off-campus dinner yes. The cost for off-campus is increased by the need for Uber, zip cars, cabs when transit is limited like on D’s campus. There are sometimes day-trips offered by different programs on campus. For example, D went to D.C, with her job. The school paid the travel but she had to feed herself when there. There has been some expenses for her singing group… needing a specific concert dress or such. Getting to the airport can cost 30 to 40 dollars even if parents are paying for the flight. Don’t forget things like a little gift for your roommates birthday or sending cards to your grandparents for their anniversary. There are regional activities worth experiencing for those far from home… student discounted river rafting, a regional festival. It all adds up.

I can’t remember who asked how much those of us to don’t give allowance cover. D’s tuition is covered with merit, grant and subsidized loan. We pay room, board, airplane tickets phone and throw money at the loan when we save in some other area each month. I do the 20 dollars a month I mentioned because I miss her and for whatever reason, it just makes me feel good. She uses summer earning and campus job for books and all the stuff I mentioned above.

29

Our kids started the year with $$$ in their checking/debtit card accounts from summer jobs and scholarships. This was used to buy books, toiletries, meals out, etc. The beauty of the account is we could see when and where they were spending the $$. - Resisting the urge to call constantly, it was also a way for us to monitor that they were okay, particularly with our son. We might not have heard from him for a week but we could see debits for Starbucks, Chipolte, etc. so we knew he was okay. When funds ran low - or if a purchase for a special event was required (i.e. a suit or a dress) - we simply transferred funds from our account to theirs. Hopefully, both will replenish these accounts this summer with $$$ from summer jobs!

30

We had the opposite of the above poster. Our kids earned all of their discretionary money…so we didn’t monitor it at all. They earned it. They budgeted how it was spent. They spent it. Neither ever asked us for any spending money. So I guess they had enough. They also never complained about not having enough money.

We paid for the cell phones with the understanding that they would call us once a week, at their convenience. Otherwise, they could pay. One kid didn’t call for a couple of weeks…and he had to pay for those two weeks. He never “forgot” to call again. We just wanted to hear their voices…at their convenience. Not too much to ask!

31

Where are the middle and lower income parents who are stretched to the limit with the net (after financial aid) cost of tuition, books, and minimum living expenses that their answer is $0 because they cannot afford more even if they wanted to?

Seems like most of the replies here are from the full pay perspective, where the allowance is an affordable discretionary item.

32

Some rich parents don’t give money to their kids because they want their kids to be self-supported. Some poor parents I know try to make their kid live more comfortable, even with unnecessary things like smartphones, cars,…

33

We don’t give our S any spending money. He works from time to time (music gigs) and has plenty of money. I would assume that he spends $250 a month, but he eats out way too much! Our D spent much less (about $100) when she lived in the dorms.

34

ucb … that’s me! We’re the poor ones. Ds works three work-study jobs at times. For his birthday, we are paying the extra $5/month now that he has acquired an old smartphone from his gf’s family. It’s fun out here on the edge.

35

“For those of you giving your kids $200-600/month - what do they use this money for? I’m assuming it’s not for groceries if they are living off campus or something. If the kids have a meal plan and dorm, what do they need to spend money on besides an occasional night out or movies or event?”

My D needs to eat gluten-free, so she does buy some groceries / snacks to keep in her room. What does the rest go for? Miscellaneous toiletries (shampoo, toothpaste, band-aids, etc.) – miscellaneous office supplies – maybe a t-shirt to support an event – the occasional coffee or soft drink – cost of public transportation downtown if they go down (both of mine are in suburbs of major cities) – and then pretty much one casual meal out once a week, nothing fancy, what I’d call Panera-Bread type of level. (Both are on full meal plans.) It doesn’t all get spent, so they save the rest which is fine with me.

36

We are also in the group that doesn’t give allowance. Our sophomore daughter has a meal plan during the week but is on her own on the weekend. She works about 12-15 hours a week. She also has worked summers since she was 14. She is on our cell phone plan. We occasionally send her gift cards or a little (like $20) cash. Her grandmother may send her money too.

I am a little surprised by the people who have students that spare on financial aid or have grants and send their kids $200-$500/ month.

37

Well, I only give myself $300 a month for gas, movies, clothes, and eating out because with 2 kids in college, there just isn,t any left. As for the kids getting an allowance for spending, wait, wait…let me stop laughing and dry my tears…they get no cash.

Because someone up thread asked, I do pay the direct billables after fin aid has been applied for the kid living on campus (tuition, fees, room, board). Everybody’s on the family cell plan. In fact, when I told the oldest we were taking her off, I discovered 3lines cost as much as 4, so she’ll get to stay on until we can go down to 2. I pay insurance (auto, health, and life) and all OOP medical expenses.

For the kid living off campus, I paid direct billables after fin aid has been applied (tuition and fees). And then gave her an amount equal to her rent and utilities each month. It was half what I would have paid for room and board. I bought a commuter meal plan that covered lunch the 3 days a week she was on campus. She bought the rest of her groceries.

Both kids pay for own books.

The allowance thread does come up a lot. Answers also vary a lot and people justify their answers, Sometimes, though, all I can think when I read them, is Holy Cow, how much money do you people have that there’s and extra $200+ in your budget evey month after you’ve paid for college?! (and more importantly, what am I doing wrong?)

38

@ordinarylives There is nothing you are doing wrong - everyone’s circumstances are different. We were very poor when the kids were young. I literally could not afford to buy a single piece of clothing for kids or adults in the family - everything was hand-me-down, we did not have a car, never watched movies, ate out etc. I still remember grabbing ice cubes from fruit stands because I could not afford a bottle of water. But now, with two stable professional careers, fully paid mortgage, and only one kid attending college at a time (they are over 5 years apart), it’s not a problem for us to pay college tuition and provide some spending money. Both kids always worked part-time and summers starting at high-school, but we encouraged them to put all their earned money into Roth IRA and invest aggressively rather than spending them. But both kids are also very frugal - I think they still remember their childhood lessons.

39

Did not read any of the previous posts. We are not wealthy by any means. Child is on a full ride at top ten school. I am giving him $50 per week but do not pay for books or any other supplies. We do pay to fly him home :wink: Promised to buy him a cheap car for senior year, when he plans to live off campus.

40

"Holy Cow, how much money do you people have that there’s and extra $200+ in your budget evey month "

You’re not doing anything wrong. People have different circumstances. I economize on a lot of stuff to be able to afford other things. Our heat is turned down, we mow our own lawn, we use lots of coupons. People just spend in different ways. No wrong or right here.