Poll: Your own freshman year(19XX)& degree of parental involvement

Parents Forum
1

<p>I'm interested in sociologic changes and thought it would be interesting to look at the similarities or differences between our relationships with our kid in college selection and that of our parents with us during our own transition. Add any side notes you desire.</p>

<p>Me: Freshman year was 1974. Private liberal arts college
Parental involvement in school selection, courses, degree, preparation: NONE- other than paying $20/application
(Parents:BA, MS-Phd, SUNY, educational professionals! They seemed to have a hands-off philosophy other than suggesting what career they believed might be enjoyed.)</p>

2

<p>I just had a discussion about this with my mother ( discussion is putting it politely)
The extend of her involvement in my high school college process- was to tell me that there was a small amount of money from my fathers life insurance policy that I could use ( less than $1000) for a car or to attend college. Since I didn't have the classes I would have needed to attend college- I used the money for a car, which made it easier to get to work.
Both parents attended state university- mother didn't graduate.
contrast that to my daughters- both attended private school k-2, oldest attended private school k-12 and is a senior at a private college
I mention private because especially for our family where even with scholarships , tuition is a major commitment.</p>

<p>( It was 1975)</p>

3

<p>My freshman college year was 1973. Parental involvement: Zero.
Parents were both first-generation college grads, from the same school--Cornell. Both had full merit scholarships. I didn't, and in retrospect it's kind of funny how casual we all were about it...but I guess they were too busy raising the rest of the brood to worry about it. After all, they were a good bit younger then than I am now. College selection and price became a much bigger issue when the rest of my 6 brothers and sisters started coming down the pike. I took the SATs once, and didn't visit any of my schools.</p>

4

<p>1976--went to a private LAC, then transfered to OOS public. Widowed mom, supportive but little knowledge since she'd commuted to a local city college. She visited the first school a grand total of one time; has never visited the second school.</p>

<p>She was willing to take out loans to help. I received soc security (college students still got it back then), but that went to helping pay the mortgage.</p>

5

<p>1972--large public uni. Zip involvement, ever. Neither had gone to college.</p>

6

<p>1973, I went to a well known private college. My parents were first generation Americans who had been excellent students through high school but did not complete college. I received no input or guidance from my parents (or from my college advisors, for that matter). I was pretty unaware of career options in my field (biochem), outside of med school or academia, when I graduated and sort of stumbled into a graduate program which led to my current career, which is a good and satisfying one for me.<br>
Another thing, almost no students did internships (outside of research with professors) then. It is amazing how much more aware my college student son is of the various careers and the paths to reach them than I was when I was at the same stage as he is now.</p>

7

<ol>
<li>My dad went with me to college night at my HS. He was a teacher and graduated Brooklyn College. We had some discussions, but ultimately I did everything on my own. As I posted in another thread, I only considered public universities as I knew there was no way to afford private schools.</li>
</ol>

8

<p>Entered college in 1972. My parents drove me on a New England trip for visits/interviews in the spring of my junior year of h.s. and basically said to "go to the best school I could get in". I was the youngest of four children and I remember vividly the 'rents bragging about where their children went to college to the point of my being mortified at a junior awards dinner. I was leaving to be a foreighn exchange student, so I decided that early decision was least hassle from afar. So I just picked a school that was different than aforementioned siblings. At the time, as long as it was in New England, it was okay with the parents. They put their foot down when I suggested UChicago and between Hampshire and Williams, I ended up settling on Williams . . . much less involvement than parents of today!! But also less of a deal for the high schoolers than the inordinate pressure they put on themselves today.</p>

9

<p>I will say this about my mother: she always felt that I could do anything and she encouraged me to aim high. Her help in the college admissions process was limited to taking me to see two schools (SUNY Albany and Binghamton) but that was mainly because at the time she was a single mom working two jobs PLUS going to college herself full time. But she really wanted me to go to a good school and get a great education. Her biggest concern was financial (thus the push for the state schools) but she didn't let that limit where I applied or where I went (although luckily I got a good finaid package).</p>

10

<p>Year: 1961.
Parental Involvement: Zero, other than expressing an opinion they would object if same school as boyfriend. Parents were bright but didn't go to college. We all saw my college for the first time the day they dropped me off. My college experience: A+</p>

11

<p>1972 - My mother didn't go to college and was well-meaning but even less informed than I was, and I was clueless. She thought because I was "smart" I would be accepted everywhere, and she would have taken out whatever loans were necessary for me to go to an expensive school. Father was not present. </p>

<p>I went to UConn because I didn't get in to either Wesleyan or Amherst. I thought about applying to Trinity or Hamilton, but didn't think they would be worth the extra $$. I didn't know anything about financial aid (or reaches/matches/safeties)- to me everything was sticker price. I had never heard of honors programs. I did visit before I applied, though.</p>

<p>I'm trying not to sound too geezer-y as I "advise" my kids, but they've heard "If I had a chance to do it all over again" enough times that it elicits eye-rolling. Everything is different now, of course, but I wonder if the internet itself isn't the top reason why the process has changed.</p>

12

<p>To add to my previous post, I did not visit any colleges, even though two of the four I applied to were within an hour of my home.</p>

13

<p>1976- CUNY, parental involvement, none as neither attended to college . </p>

<p>Yjey only knew CUNY as older siblings attended CUNY schools (Brooklyn, Hunter, York, Queens) because at the time it was free and there were 10 of us. So with me as kid #7 CUNY had a good track record with them.</p>

<p>Wouldn't you know it, CUNY began charging tuition my first year.</p>

14

<p>Year - 1977</p>

<p>Parental involvement -- I don't remember much of any. Mother was college prof, and must have given me some advice. I ended up going to an out-of-state public university, and didn't even apply to selective schools. Certainly, I didn't go into the process with much thought, everyone I knew stayed in state for college, and I don't remember even talking to my hs counselor about college options. Certainly, I never had the opportunity to attend a college fair.</p>

15

<p>1975-81 Private Universities after private primary and secondary schools. </p>

<p>Father BA Big 10 school, Pres of Fraternity, Big Man on Campus, aka BMOC. Mother BA tiny private LAC. </p>

<p>Parental involvement: Mixed but still amazing.</p>

<p>Never went to college night or visited campuses but lived next to a well known university.</p>

<p>Junior year in hs, mother encouraged me to look at any school, public or private, in the country (big surprise to me as father always claimed dire financial circumstances).</p>

<p>Both parents freaked out in August as I got off expensive private university waitlist--nearly denied me the opportunity until I called in Bessie, dad's mom.</p>

<p>Furious, parents made me find my own ride to school, pack myself, no new clothes etc. I had never visited school, didn't know anyone else going--until a friend of a friend introduced me to the engineering student who had a truck and agreed to drive me.</p>

<p>Parents paid tuition but moaned about impending poverty (not true but dad was depression baby. Still thinks he's poor). I decided to take out partial loans, became RA to reduce moaning, increase independence.</p>

<p>Mother flew to school in week three to see me and buy me new clothes. </p>

<p>Parents insisted I come home every summer.</p>

<p>Didn't seem to care about my 'rollercoaster' GPA or my letters abut wild partying and carousing. never said a word to me about it. </p>

<p>Father pressured me something terrible about getting summer work in my profession. Made me print up resumes and get out for cold calls. </p>

<p>Proud but slightly mystified about career choice, ie "Why are all our children so ambitious?" "I would have been happy with 'B' students who watned to live out their lives int he hometown." Still true.</p>

<p>My boys attended amazing private primary school and wonderful private secondary schools--higher grade than mine. We don't insist they stay home for the summer. We'd rather they studied or travelled in the summers. Plenty of life is dedicated to working for money, IOHOs.</p>

16

<p>1971, large private university</p>

<p>Parental involvement in choosing college--not much, I chose to live at home and go to the local college</p>

<p>Parental involvement in choosing major--warned me away from being a PE major (which I had some thoughts of becoming)</p>

<p>Parental involvement in course advising--MAJOR! Mine was a special situation--father was getting an advanced degree in the same major and at the same collegeI ended up getting into. He knew exactly what classes I needed to take, which prereqs were needed, which teachers were good, etc. He was the college advisor that the colleges tell you that you have, but they never are much good. I had superior advising!</p>

<p>And he clued me in on where to get the best donuts on campus.</p>

17

<p>1975 - Out-of-state jc. Parental involvement = zip/zero, except for the first semester of tuition.</p>

<p>I recently asked my mom why she and my dad weren't more involved in sending me off to college. I was the eldest and the first one in our family to go, and neither one of my parents graduated from college. She said, "We had our own things going." They did, and I was probably happier with my choice, as a result.</p>

18

<p>Oh yeah, just remembered my teacher father's only guideline: "If you major in Education or Psychology, you can pay for school yourself!"</p>

19

<p>1970 - UConn, from public schools in NY. Parents involved and set parameters regarding how far from home I could be and what they would spend on college. I was 1st geneneration college student and parents footed the entire $2500/yr (I was out-of-state).
Parents very supportive; only string attached was that I graduated with a profession. (I am a nurse.)</p>

20

<p>1972 - UCLA. </p>

<p>Dad graduated HS at 15, took two gap years (not a positive thing then - he needed to mature), attended Los Angeles CC, Berkeley, and UCLA. Took a zillion classes, and had more than enough credits, but never stuck with any one discipline in order to receive a degree. Mom married him on her 18th birthday, fresh out of HS, so no college for her. Since Dad's fav school was UCLA, it was kinda understood that I would attend. I had choices (all those great CA schools at the time), but I liked UCLA best too.</p>

<p>Parental involvement during college consisted of moving me in (only frosh year), a phone call home every Sunday (again, only frosh year), sending a monthly check so I could pay tuition/dorm or apt, and visiting to attend an occasional UCLA sporting event and graduation. No involvement regarding courses of study or choices of where to live. They only met one of the many ;) boyfriends I had during my four years there. I handled every detail of college life. They provided one suitcase, an electric typewriter, and the towels and sheets I already used at home.</p>