<p>Freshman year 1970 - parental involvement absolutely none with the exception of concern that I should live at home and take the T to a state school that parents could afford. I balked and checked off the furtherest location of the big state school and from there, had to make my own plans and find my own financial resources since parents had nothing to give. I arrived by bus without parents as they did not drive or own a car. However, that said, times are much different - I don't think a parallel can be drawn. Getting into college now is much more difficult than it ever was before and the enormous financial investment that is expected of parents (unless your child is emancipated) and students is far greater in proportion to what was expected years ago. More parents have been to college, have learned the pathways of professional careers also know that the college selected can make a difference in the future. Personally, my son made his own choice but we took him around, sat through the admissions sessions and tried to act as a resource even though he basically chose to apply ED which limited much of the discussion. Trying to stay out of the selection process too much probably was not a good idea in this case as I would probably not have put his choice on the top of my list and it would have been nice to compare schools. I encourage every parent coming up to get involved - it's too expensive, too hard to get into selective schools, and too important to leave everything to your 16 or 17 yo, especially if they made few decisions on their own growing up - in my opinion, of course <g>!</g></p>
<p>I should add that I don't mean that the parent should micromanage - I am thinking that the parent should try to be saavy to the process to act as a resource in what is today a heavily marketed, highly confusing and notoriously expensive process and commitment.</p>
<p>Graduated HS 1981, didn't have any help from anyone or a clue about what college was all about. Father attended college, but died in 1970, and mother never remarried but was left with 5 children. Mom told me there was no money for tuition, though I had taken the SAT and scored well enough to be asked to attend the honors college at the local state u. Anyway, not having money, I opted for work and car. After marrying and raising DS to kindergarten age, DH got me to get into school, made sure we had the money to pay as we went, and then put me through grad school at GWU. My involvement in DS's education was to prevent that scenario from playing out again. Sometimes, when you have many, many, many options, the easiest decision to make is not to make a decision. When someone is there to hold your feet to the fire, that is no longer an option. DS is very happy at his selected school and incredibly proud, as are we, of his accomplishment - getting in and getting through year 1!</p>
<p>1979</p>
<p>Parental involvement in choosing college: Junior year, my dad took me, a friend, and my cousin back east to visit schools. (Saw schools like Harvard & Dartmouth that I never applied to... but I got very interested in attending northeastern school. Wound up applying mostly to schools I found on my own, after the visit.)</p>
<p>Other than that, nothing; I researched everything on my own, chose the schools, etc.</p>
<p>I also flew back by myself in Sept. A twenty-ish friend who had moved back to Massachusetts picked me up at Logan and dropped me off at Brown. As soon as my bagswere upstairs, he was off.</p>
<p>My parents never said a word to me about course selection or major. The one and only time they showed up in Providence was for my graduation.</p>
<p>Of course, they paid-- so that was major.</p>
<p>Freshman year began 1973. Small private university. Parents were first generation American from well educated Eastern European families (dad's mother was a pharmacist), whose own educations were interrupted by the Holocaust. Parental involvement was considerable. Mom went with me to almost all my colleges; fell in love with one campus and she & my guidance counselor insisted I go there. Being the kind of kid who wanted to please, I went. Didn't like it, but parents refused to let me transfer. So I graduated from a school with a great name, which opened some doors, but didn't really enjoy my college experience.</p>
<p>My involvement: more than my mom's, but the choice will by my kid's all the way.</p>
<p>Why are we all the same age, give or take a couple years? And why was I the only one dumb enough to have listed his age in his username data ? :-)</p>
<p>1972 - My father had a masters degree and my mother completed one year of college. Total support and encouragement, full financial backing, and a couple extended trips for college visits. Only one or two talks about what to do at college or what to study. No involvement (other than financial) once I started college. I chose to go to a good school that until a couple years ago was a perennial "Best Buy" for its affordable tuition - not for that reason; it just happened that way. My parents - who were no more than middle class on the socioeconomic ladder - refused to apply for Financial Aid, maintaining that it was intended to allow children of "poor families" the opportunity to go to college. They were adamant about this; to have applied for Financial Aid would have been humiliating and mortifying for them. How times have changed.</p>
<p>1969 - Neither parent went to college, so I received no help from them. Since I was paying 100%, went to local campus of large public university and transfered sophomore year to Purdue. Worked while attending college and became resident assistant in Dorm senior year, which paid tuition/room/board+small stipend.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Why are we all the same age, give or take a couple years? And why was I the only one dumb enough to have listed his age in his username data ? :-)
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Gadad, </p>
<p>Did ya notice that most of us are women? You know they say that a woman who will tell her age will tell anything. We must maintain a little mystery. </p>
<p>In addition we are all prodogies, who started college immeadiately after kindergarten :) so we're not as old as you think. </p>
<p>I have a friend who always said she was 29 and holding. Last week we went out to lunch and I asked are we still 29 and holding and she said no we were now not a day over 25. That's going to be way too much pressure for me right now so I'lll stick to 29+ :cool:</p>
<ol>
<li> My parents were interested and supportive, and traveled with me to visit my intended campus and later on my mom came with me to an on-campus orientation weekend the summer before I started - but the process was pretty much my own. I chose my own college, took care of all paperwork for applying, etc. No parental nagging or pressure. My parents provided full financial support through college and law school. My father attended 3 separate Ivies, through law school; my mom attended a 7 sister college but dropped out. So basically my impression growing up was that my parents expected and wanted me to attend college, but that they didn't care where and they saw that as my decision.</li>
</ol>
<p>Fun and interesting thread. Thanks 3<em>to</em>go.</p>
<ol>
<li> Parents never went to college. Each excelled in hs, but family responsibilities meant no college.</li>
</ol>
<p>Involvement in college selection/application: None really. Chearleaders, proud-as-punch. After admissions results in (those were the days when top students got in everywhere they applied; no "lottery" school craziness then) Father did sit with me at kitchen table with yellow legal pad. We made a matrix and gave points to each college on different criteria in order to decide the "winner." (We chose wrong; I transferred after Freshman year).</p>
<p>Never visited a single college; never thought about it. (Had seen several due to travelling to debate tournaments often held on college campuses).</p>
<p>Freshman year, 1974. My parents were supportive of my decision to go to an LAC where I applied early decision. They took me to visit, 5 hours away; it was the only school I ever looked at. Looking back, they must have known we were so broke we would get good aid. There were 6 kids in our family attending college in a span of 6 years (blended family) and my father talks about his hand being cramped from filling out FAFSA's lo these many years later :). Though I love my family, I loved college so much I didn't even go home for Thanksgiving that first year. Ate turkey dinner at the house of the Dean of Students, who found out somehow that I was around.</p>
<p>1965, private liberal arts college.</p>
<p>My Dad has a B.S. from UConn in physical chemistry (engineering), my mom a high school diploma. Though she was salutatorian she didn't apply to college, married at age 18 right after graduating high school (my Dad had just graduated from college). That was 1937, so it wasn't that unusual. My grandparents tried to bribe my Dad into not marrying her (promised to send him to med school), but it was no dice. They've been married 68 years.</p>
<p>My parents were less influential in my choice of college than an uncle who was a college professor (at Caltech) and made quite a number of suggestions, mostly liberal arts colleges. I did all the contacting of colleges (writing for applications), arrangements for tests, application and essay writing. I can't recall that my parents did any of that, with the one exception that for one college a letter from a parent was requested, and my Mom wrote that.</p>
<p>Tuition, room and board, and fees my freshman year were less than $2,000 -- this would cost $35,000 now.</p>
<p>I was the second of (what turned out to be) 5 kids who my parents sent to college. Two of us (#2 and #3) went to private colleges (Reed and Caltech), and three to UC's (UCLA, UCSD).</p>
<p>My parents had no influence over my choice of majors, courses I took, or my career choice. When it was time to leave home for college orientation, they took me to the train station in L.A., gave me some "blank checks" which I would cash for petty expenses ($15 to $20 at a time), we exchanged letters but no phone calls during the year that I can recall. In effect, I was on my own. When I arrived for orientation that was the first time I'd seen the college campus. I came home at Christmas and in summers, mainly traveling the 1000 miles by sharing the driving of a classmate's car though once or twice I flew (my first airplane ride was to/from school on one of those trips).</p>
<p>I had much more involvement in my own kids' college application process than my parents did in mine.</p>
<p>Back in the Day - small private LAC, only applied to one place. Parents were supportive and encouraging - "Go wherever you want, major in whatever you want" - but knew nothing about the process, so I was entirely on my own. </p>
<p>TCA was about $40K for the four years, and they paid (Lord Bless Them - BEST present ever). They also supplemented my TA stipend in graduate school. Dad (USAF Col) attended OCS, mom had AA degree.</p>
<p>OK, 1965 is the current "record." thank you, mackinaw, for out-doing me. </p>
<p><em>carry on</em> (as curmudgeon would say).
btw, tuition, room, board and fees at my private LAC sophomore year (can't remember freshman) was $3100. What happened between 1965-66?</p>
<p>Inflation in general was accelerating, as I recall. This was a period when we were escalating our involvement in Vietnam (while scaling back the War on Poverty) but it was done without a major tax increase, and govt spending got out of hand.</p>
<p>1970 and I don't remember anything about a "process"! Neither parent went to college; neither had anything to say beyond "we can't afford that' to any comment I might have made about any college other than our flagship state U (if I got a scholarship) or local live-at-home schools which I rejected out of hand...as I used to tell my poor parents (I cringe when I think about having said this to them--frequently and loudly) "I'd rather scrub toilets than live at home after HS." </p>
<p>I have no recollection of ever expecting anything other than going to college after HS. Hugely supportive parents in terms of making it clear I could go and should go...huge financial issues made my live-away choice very hard on the family, but they sent me anyway...zero recollection of application process; know I never saw the school before move-in day. Spent two years prior to college telling my folks I couldn't wait to move out. And scrounged (literally) enough transportation money to go home my very first weekend...I was so homesick I thought I would die. DIdn't last, tho...I adored my college years...all that freedom...just loved it!</p>
<p>Now, S tells me he's leaving 8/18 for his freshman year and "never coming home again" and I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach...and then I remember how my folks listened to far worse from me and never batted an eye...I always felt free to go, if I could find the money. Pretty remarkable parents, my folks were/are (Mom died 6 years ago; Daddy, hale and hearty at 80)...</p>
<p>S took charge of his own college process, and let me share it when he was good and ready and not before. Only one college visit--and that at the insistence of his GC; I felt and feel "deprived" of taking my child on college visits! But he flat-out refused to visit til after he got accepted...and after he got accepted he broke his ankle, had surgery, and decided w/out visits...DId his own research, his own apps--I paid the fees, and will willingly, gratefully (that I can) and proudly pay the COA. I was and am intensely interested, but he did it all, altho he did let me "look" at what he was doing, after he'd done it...</p>
<p>One total sameness: my parents were so proud of me they could bust, and I knew it (and flourished from it). I'm so proud of my S I could bust, and he knows it...</p>
<p>this is an interesting thread and brings up question/observation. The majority of our parents were not overly involved in our college selection. Why are we so involved/invested in our children's college selection process?</p>
<p>1977 - private liberal arts college</p>
<p>Mom did attend a college night or two at my high school. Parents had some input on where/what type of college to apply to, but it was definitely my decision. Both were pretty unaware of PSAT/SAT, as I remember explaining my scores to them. I don't think I showed them my applications (all 2 of them), and I'm pretty sure I paid the application fee out of my checking account. They did take me to visit my college after acceptance. Which turned out to be one of the most shameful experiences of my life when they asked the admissions director how they could ensure that I would not have a roommate of a different race. Ugh, ugh, ugh - still makes my stomach churn to remember.</p>
<p>NOYBK asks "Why are we so involved/invested in our children's college selection process?"</p>
<p>Maybe because we all enjoyed and valued our college experience so much that we want the same for our kids???</p>
<p>Started college 1979, State university. Parent involvement in choosing school was zero. Surprising to me now as both parents were college educated with dad receiving a PhD from Stanford. They were the first from their families to go to school and put themselves through finacially. My dad's father only went to 6th grade and his mother 3rd. I applied to 2 schools based on my HS counselor's suggestion for what I was interested in, Child Development. Also did not want to go to the local university where dad was a professor Did not visit either school. I'm not sure why I choses the school I attended but was very happy with it. My parents paid for everything. They were not involved with parent activities much but my freshmen year my dad got sick with ALS and he died 2 months before I graduated. I went home quite often as they got me a car and home was 90 minutes away.</p>