<p>Grejuni, thank you for your post. I thought it here and it came out there!</p>
<p>There are valid points within the posts and I choose to recognize those without spending so much time interpreting the poster's intent.</p>
<p>Well, I guess bs4me is from Jersey, so....</p>
<p>Sorry, just a joke. We have good friends there. To answer the question of whether I would let my child "work to earn his keep". No....not if it was an environment where the full pays did not work and the the financial aid recipients did. I just don't think that is right, and there would be a stigma attached to the fa students. It would be like wearing a "scarlet letter". At my son's school (NMH), everyone has to do a work-job because everyone should be a helping member of the community. No one gets a "free ride". bs4me...are you so financially blessed that your children's educations are not subsidized? At most bs the total cost of the education (as has already been noted) is much more than the "ticket price". I believe at NMH it is close to $75,000 per student. If you are able to send the school this much, you truly are very fortunate indeed. If you are not able to foot this amount, then you too are a recipient of assistance. So....would you be okay with your child working to help pay that off?</p>
<p>actually. I would not have my son work at a school that is being paid for in full and then some, He has worked hard enough in Kenya since he was 10 where he "jets" off to every summer for the luxurious life in the bush and their resort like villages.
I am not from Jersey,,,just touched by someone there in the past.
So the last poster is not willing to have their child pay for what is being given to them,,,,case in point....you want a hand out!!! My apologies to those of you who would be willing to work for a hand up,,,,not a hand out,</p>
<p>BS, while I understand the gist of what you are saying, having a BSer work would just set them apart even more. Dh makes good $ and we are comfortable but there are some very rich kids at S's JR BS. He is sort of oblivious to it all but I can see when kids get older or some kids who are a bit more savey then S would totally notice things.</p>
<p>Well, he does work as do all his classmates. I just don't think it would be right to separate the kids from each other like that at the school. It just sends the wrong message to the kids who are from full pay families. (You don't have to work while you are here because your parents have money. Having money makes you "better"). What a horrible thing to do to a child. I do think many full pay families would be against it as well. I know I would be. Actually, I am certain that not even his school would consider something like that. It goes against everything they stand for. </p>
<p>You are very lucky that your son is able to take advantage of such service opportunities as flying to Kenya. I imagine that costs a lot of money. My son's community service tends to be mostly local; I think it is just as helpful, though, as he is giving of his time and talents.</p>
<p>Why are you so angry and harsh? I am just curious. You seem so upset. BS is very, very expensive. You are in the a small minority if you can afford to be full pay....and an even smaller minority if you a "true" full pay (paying even the subsidized portion, not just the ticket-price).</p>
<p>2et, it actually sounds like our circumstances are similar. We were FP for 6 years of (very expensive) private school and when we realized that we just couldn't afford it any more we (quietly) chose to not renew for 8th grade. The school (quietly) insisted that we stay with no further discussion of funding. What a gift! I am eternally grateful to them for the superb education our child received for all the years we paid and for the one year when we didn't. When you average the seven years, there are kids who were still considered full pay who paid less than we did, whether that is because they were from a muliple child family or because they were grandfathered in at a lower rate years ago when the school moved. While I would never brag about receiving FA, I am proud that they thought enough of my child to forego the tuition for a year. Hard work and dedication are valued in our society. That doesn't entitle one to anything, but when children stand and deliver it does make (some) people notice and respond.</p>
<p>I'm also thankful for all the help our elem school given us in the BS process including hosting preliminary interviews with BS admissions staff from top-notch schools who all travelled far to see us and encouraged us to consider their fine schools. If our wonderful elem school had not set this up, we probably wouldn't have gone down this road in the first place. I also credit CTY with giving our child the confidence to go away to school and the realization that if school could be like this everyday, it would be incredible!</p>
<p>We sent the info off to SSS having no idea what they would come up with. We applied to schools that seemed appropriate for our child and waited to see what would happen. We feel very fortunate that this has worked out in our case. I am sad for the kids who won't have the same opportunity and if we ever find ourselves in a position of being able to afford more, we will pay more. If we find ourselves in an even more fortunate position, we will send somebody else's child...hands down...no questions asked. In the mean time we will do what we can in service to others and teach our child to do the same. </p>
<p>With respect to having a child work to "earn their keep" at a school, I would not ask that of any child and can't imagine sending a child to any school that would want to see a child set apart in that way. For the record, my child will earn money to pay for books and school supplies, but while at school, I would expect continued hard work and citizenship. If we're talking about volunteerism and doing your part to maintain living quarters or grounds, then absolutely it's appropriate...just as it is at home...but for everyone, not just those who are not full pay. College is a different story. Then, the student has more maturity, control, and more choices about duration, courseload, ECs, loans, living standards, etc., that are not out of their control. That is the humble opinion of a person who DID work A LOT and help support family through rough times from age nine into adulthood, and still today. </p>
<p>It looks like bs4me is back so it's time for me to be smacked around some more...sigh.
You just keep raining and we'll keep being the parade!</p>
<p>Good info, Kaileigh and you clearly represent the best of why FA is important.<br>
I also appreciate you posting this thread, although it may have deviated from your original post. ;)</p>
<p>BS4me, I've thought about it...and I think "Working for FA"--at these ages--would change the culture of BS and make it less desirable for most people (for us, for sure). The $amount of their tuition puts it in a discriminative category.</p>
<p>There is ignorance at both ends of the socio economic spectrum and while we're wanting to take our daughter out of a failing, mediocre public school system, we aren't keen on dropping her into a group of exclusive club members, where most may not necessarily take their vacations in the bush in kenya.</p>
<p>If there were only full pays, these boarding schools wouldn't be in demand as they are now. The "mix" creates the culture---and that creates the value of BS experiences, otherwise it would be a homogenous club that I wouldn't necessarily want in.</p>
<p>Kaileigh, what you just said is touching and inspiring, making me believe that I am sending my child to the right place filled with the kind people I want him to be around. Not only boarding school but the private school education in general is new to us. We thought we'd give it a try without too much of expectations. I was so pleasantly suprised and deeply grateful for the generous support some of the best schools offered in helping make the wonderful but expensive education experience available. I am telling my kid not to take it for granted, be grateful, and be ready to give back whenever and in whatever way he can... The condescending tone and some rude remarks from you-know-who is shocking because it IS very rare in this amazingly supportive forum. I never thought elitism was a bad word possibly because I had a different understanding of that word. If she is the representation of the kind of elitism boarding school education would bring about, I thinking it would be a bad idea to send our kids there. But I know that's not true.</p>
<p>Wow! Fascinating what has happened to this thread. Waste of time and energy to attempt to dignify bs's remarks with further direct answers to his comments. Just came back to check for summer program info, and then will be gone again.</p>
<p>However, before I leave again, I just want to say:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>bs needs to start his own thread. Clearly, he didn't even bother reading this one before he highjacked it. Very poor manners. Proof that $$$ can't buy class.</p></li>
<li><p>If anyone was previously curious at to why boarding schools ramped up their efforts to diversify their elitist, "entitled" student bodies, they need look no further than bs4me. Just as is the case with the word "charity", "entitlement" means different things to different people. Boarding schools of previous generations realized that they were turning out too many elitists who, because of their wealth and status, felt that they were entitled to all of the luxuries and excess that money could buy. These members of the Entitled Class didn't work for what they received, nor did they earn their opportunities and riches through merit or service. They felt that it should be given to them--it should automatically be theirs--because they had the money to pay for it, or because their father was a great man, or because their family had been there for __ generations. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>Clearly, despite the best efforts of leading educational institutions to reform their charges, there are still a few members of the Entitlement Class who will never see the light. The calls from ivied institutions to be of service and improve their communities and countries by using what they have been given for good will, unfortunately, always fall on a few deaf ears. And, equally unfortunate, is the fact that a few new members of the Entitlement Class are recruited daily from among the meritocracy. Posting rude and disrespectful messages on message boards is nothing when one surveys the global financial crisis that members of the TRUE Entitlement class are currently forcing upon us.</p>
<p>I come from an upper-middle class family (my mother comes from substantial wealth, but became a school-teacher and married a college professor). My husband chose to leave a $500,000+/yr. job for public service/five-figure income. I have been on the giving $$ end of the "charity" line FAR more frequently and substantially than on the receiving $$ end. I feel NO guilt whatsoever applying for FA. Our family would, in the end, give back to the school in a more substantial way than we might have had we written a $40,000+ check every year. Boarding schools know and understand this.</p>
<p>Unlike members of the TRUE entitlement class (who feel that they are entitled just because of who they are or what they inherited), I feel that, no matter which end of the line I'm on, it's my responsibility and blessing to both give and receive--AT THE SAME TIME. What bs4me is missing, sadly, is that these are not mutually exclusive. Whether it's public service, financial assistance, time, energy, etc., all parties involved in the true spirit of service have the opportunity and responsibility to give AND receive EACH time they participate in either capacity. </p>
<p>I pity bs4me and others like him. If they do not know that they receive inumerable blessings every time they give, or feel that they have no responsibility to give back when they are the recipients of blessings (financial or otherwise), or are so blind that they can not even recognized the blessings they receive from giving and serving others, they are missing out on a life that is truly worth living. Bless their hearts.</p>
<p>Bye now. Off to volunteer at my son's school...AND HAPPY TO BE OF SERVICE TO THOSE KIDS WHOSE PARENTS CAN'T BE THERE BECAUSE THEY ARE AT WORK EARNING MORE MONEY WHILE I ASSIST THEIR CUTE LITTLE CHILDREN FREE OF CHARGE!!! ;-)</p>
<p>bs4me/ as previously posted part of FA (welfare/charity) package for oldest daughter, package approx 50% of expenses was a weekly work requirement. perhaps office work is not humbling enough to qualify? I know other FA students also had work requirements at same school. Why would you possibly think that no kid would work for an opportunity at education? You just lack faith in the lower classes I guess. We are very grateful for the opportunity we had to attend this school. I know that my daughter wrote numerous letters to the scholarship provider specifically expressing her gratitude . In all honesty, what would you cosider a proper degree of respect we could offer?</p>
<p>FINANCIAL AID = An INVESTMENT in young people, in this case, to help them become the innovators, leaders, peacekeepers and charitable well-rounded adults of tomorrow. These students will end up giving back, it's all part of a perfect circle. An example: Oscar Tang.</p>
<p>My parents serve the citizens of the world everyday in two very different ways. I see the work that they do and feel proud of their contribution yet they came about it from different paths in life. You would not be able to tell which one was from wealth and which one was given an opportunity, an investment, in their education. It's all a wash now because they both have given back in extraordinary ways to society and I hope one day to do the same. There is great value in every person and money has nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>In honor of bs4me's desire that we call a spade a spade, let me do exactly that:</p>
<p>bs4me is a troll, plain and simple.</p>
<p>I haven't read all the posts today on this thread yet ( trying to cook dinner too! ) but just want to reply to the question of whether or not I would let my child "work" at a school in exchange for the privilege of attending said school. My answer is absolutely not. I will not consider such a school, and if I were able to pay the full amount I would still not consider it.
However, I very much support the long held practice at NMH school of requiring ALL students to participate in work service. This is a very good thing in my opinion. </p>
<p>Troll on the forum or not, it is a worthy subject to discuss, if only because some really do seem to disagree. Maybe hard to fathom, but true!</p>
<p>I agree that the subject would be worthy, if only it had been broached without baseless accusations by someone who seems utterly obsessed with applicants' FA status.</p>
<p>I have seen nothing to lead me to believe that the families posting here feel entitled to FA at all, and honestly, after lurking and posting on this forum for about a year, I find the prospect that anyone here would feel that way to be entirely unbelievable. You're all <em>way</em> above that, even if some others have felt they have seen this in their own firsthand experiences with parents at private schools.</p>
<p>In my view, after reading all his/her posts on this thread, bs4me is either just trying to get a reaction (and succeeding), or is focused on wealth in a way that can only be described as tacky. If anything, bs4me is the one who feels entitled and is ungrateful for his/her lot in life.</p>
<p>Few quick points...
[ul]
[<em>]Many of you speak as if Edward Libby/AIG represents rich... To be frank, the media plays it like that (so they get more views which means more money) it is not true.
[</em>]Rich people (most understand what they have) tend to be a lot more philanthropic than some of you are giving credit for. Without trying to sound like bs4me, I will state that those with more disposable income tend to give more. I have lived in both situations (and the between) and I can say with confidence that the % of income given is higher through the hierarchy. I may get blasted for this point, and I may be wrong. From my experience, though, this is the case. This has nothing to do with entitlement or anything, just disposable income. Just saying this to disprove this thing about "rich entitlement".
[<em>]You don't have to be rich to feel entitled.
[</em>]Those who are wealthy work just as hard as those who are not. Again we can play the AIG card who have contracted bonuses... I will tell you most rich people do not sit on their ass all day telling their secretaties to "type this" and "type that". I do not mean to say that they have experienced any hardship, but do not underestimate how hard rich people work.
[<em>]Every time someone says Ed Libby, think Oscar Tang.
[</em>]Every time someone says George Bush, thing Obama.
[<em>]This "true" entitlement class we speak about includes a small percent of the people.
[</em>]It is not because of the upper class we are facing this meltdown. It is probably because of two idiot companies who deserve to burn in every single hell there is thousand times over.
[/ul]</p>
<p>All this being said I agree with most of you (except for a certain few... bs4me, trust me... people on this board are not the idiots you think they are).</p>
<p>Good luck and godspeed.</p>
<p>My one simple question about entitlement certainly did hit a lot of nerves and many of you became quite defensive and sensitive when some of the things I have said may have hit too close to home for some. Hijacker.....Troll all very powerful words for a powerful person...and some of you hand the power right over. A few still hiding behind comments like you know who..etc. This has definitely brought out the worst in quite a few of you. For me....the entertainment value has been priceless... I couldn't have bought it! I will give you back your forum that you so graciously gave me well equipped with the answers I was looking for. Once again God Bless those of you looking for a hand up and a blessing for those of you looking for a handout as well. See you in the fall!</p>
<p>I have to thank BS4ME because his thoughtless comments brought about some of the most insightful and interesting posts, especially the last one from Kaileigh and happykidsmom. All of you captured the true benefits of offering FA and human kindness...well done.</p>
<p>Watertester, what do you mean?</p>
<p>I was joking. bs4me said a few times she'd leave and only came back again. I wonder if this time she has really "peaced out".</p>