Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

Colleges & Universities A-Z Massachusetts Institute of Technology
21

<p>Now now kids,
let's not fret
at least you know
and there's no more sweat.</p>

<p>What's done is over
you've payed your dues.
well, what do we know?
we've been there, too.</p>

<p>Not destination, but journey
don't you forget,
and on the way you'll meet
your best friends yet.</p>

<p>We win some we lose some
it still rings true
you're just starting out
on this life tinged blue.</p>

<p>It may seem like the world
a catastrophic fate
a life-long sentence
to be second-rate.</p>

<p>Soon enough, though
you'll change your plans
and dismiss all this
with the wave of a hand.</p>

<p>A stumble, a dream,
no, not even,
a subtle reminder
of what you believe in.</p>

<p>So leave it behind
but don't throw it away
chin up, chest out
there's a brand new day.</p>

<p>Soldier on.</p>

22

<p>lesson: dont invest too much emotional energy in something that is out of your control. i had to learn this after getting rejected early from stanford, and it definitely helped yesterday, when i got rejected from MIT and caltech.</p>

<p>if you know you are awesome, you don't need MIT to tell you you are. given all the BS politics and completely whimsical preferences that go into the process, you shouldnt take this as a reflection of your worth.</p>

<p>if you are a talented person, you will suceed in life. i'm not going to BS you with stories of how someone later came to view the rejection as the best thing that ever happened to them, because, yes, this does truly suck. however, if life were never tough, weak people would make it to the top. you guys are strong, and you will persevere.</p>

23

<p>dude, mattbowes we should be best friends. i was rejected by stanford SCEA and rejected by MIT yesterday too! </p>

<p>you're right, it's best to envision both scenarios--acceptance and rejection--before you click the decisions page with your mouse :)</p>

24

<p>
[quote]
dont invest too much emotional energy in something that is out of your control

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Great quote. love it.</p>

25

<p>This is one of the funniest, most delusional topics I've ever read on any message board. </p>

<p>Getting rejected from one of the most selective universities in the world is equatable to the inner hell that war veterans suffer for their entire lives, huh? </p>

<p>Anyone who seriously feels this way has led an extremely sheltered, isolated experience and has never confronted serious tragedy in their lives. </p>

<p>I'm going to assume that most of you aren't dirt-poor Chinese international students who study like crazy for 18 years so that they can make it to an American university to provide for their families and avoiding a low-paying, back-breaking nightmarish job for the next 50 years of their life. </p>

<p>Rather, you're upper middle class, well educated, well sheltered domestic applicants (I was one last year) who got accepted into plenty of other quality universities. </p>

<p>Crying over rejection and actually making posts about it on a message board reminds me of the time I broke down in tears over losing three action figures at the ripe old age of four.</p>

<p>Grow up.</p>

26

<p>Gracie- it is all part of the learning and maturation process, these stages of grief/regret/whatever people feel... It's just not right to ask someone to put so much of themselves into an application, have it been for nothing and then just say "Grow Up"... everyone has different things they value differently in their lives, and what might be trivial for some people could be important for others. I respect the fact that you attend CalTech, but please be more positive in the future in regards to the responses of all these students (myself one of them) who didn't make it to somewhere they truly had their hearts set on.</p>

<p>We'll all get over this, just some faster than others- and that's okay :) </p>

<p>-Dragon45</p>

27

<p>and people say i'm harsh.......</p>

28

<p>Ah, Gracie, that description sounds more tailored to my dad than me.</p>

<p>As for the second, I yam, and I ain't complainin' : )</p>

29

<p>i'd rather see people vent then suck it up and just let stuff build up.</p>

30

<p>
[QUOTE]
Gracie- it is all part of the learning and maturation process, these stages of grief/regret/whatever people feel... It's just not right to ask someone to put so much of themselves into an application, have it been for nothing and then just say "Grow Up"... everyone has different things they value differently in their lives, and what might be trivial for some people could be important for others. I respect the fact that you attend CalTech, but please be more positive in the future in regards to the responses of all these students (myself one of them) who didn't make it to somewhere they truly had their hearts set on.</p>

<p>We'll all get over this, just some faster than others- and that's okay </p>

<p>-Dragon45

[/QUOTE]
</p>

<p>Your post is a brilliant example of what I'm talking about. People who just don't get it. </p>

<p>While you basically concede that everything I've said is accurate, you still have a problem with my post. Why? Because you don't like confronting the truth? Because you can't handle the fact that your present problems are ultimately minute and trivial? </p>

<p>Because accepting the truth would actually entail losing your victim mentality and not complaining incessantly about your problems? </p>

<p>Is that so difficult?</p>

<p>The best part of your post is where you say that you respect me since I'm a Caltech student. </p>

<p>That's terrible. You should never respect or disrespect anyone because of the college they attend(ed). It's a horrible measure of an individual's true character or worth. </p>

<p>Trust me, a few months after you enter college, you'll completely forget about this.</p>

31

<p>Well, there's always next year...</p>

<p>
[Quote]
Trust me, a few months after you enter college, you'll completely forget about this.

[/Quote]
</p>

<p>Unfortunately I have a knack for remembering calamities, even small ones.</p>

32

<p>"Anyone who seriously feels this way has led an extremely sheltered, isolated experience and has never confronted serious tragedy in their lives."</p>

<p>Gracie, TRU DAT. </p>

<p>OK seriously guys, lemme let you in on a little secret. A big factor in whether or not you get accepted into MIT is how well you persevere. The admissions officers take your ability to handle pressing situations into account when they consider your application. If you're THAT depressed about a tiny little application that can be completed in two days, then good thing you didn't get in (sorry to be harsh). </p>

<p>MIT is a tough place and some kids come here and fail a few classes their first term freshman year despite working their little rumps off. Sure, MIT doesn't want that to happen in the first place, but if it does, we want people who can pick themselves right back up and start making stellar grades and handle the stress despite past failures. Judging from what I've read, you would probably have just increased our suicide rate had you come here. Shape up, folks, and I hope you change your attitude toward life soon enough. Best of luck to ya.</p>

33

<p>
[quote]

Your post is a brilliant example of what I'm talking about. People who just don't get it.</p>

<p>While you basically concede that everything I've said is accurate, you still have a problem with my post. Why? Because you don't like confronting the truth? Because you can't handle the fact that your present problems are ultimately minute and trivial?</p>

<p>Because accepting the truth would actually entail losing your victim mentality and not complaining incessantly about your problems?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Words like "minute" and "trivial" are highly relative- someone can be totally devastated over the loss of his/her first girlfriend/boyfriend, even though they may ever well find "The One" (Yay Neo! :P) later on in life. Or someone who loses a limb or has surgery could think they are in the absolute dumps of life until someone comes along who's dying of cancer and says "Your problems are minute and trivial, get over it". etc etc. Bit extreme examples, but i think you know what i'm getting at.</p>

<p>And a victim mentality? Umm... if you could point that out for me, I would much appreciate it- I like to think I have control of my own actions and behaviors and if I did in fact demonstrate a victim mentality, I certainly had no intention of having a victim mentality, and I apologize- just please point it out where in my post I demonstrated that. :)</p>

<p>One extreme side says "It doesn't matter, get over it", another side says "It's my life, it meant everything to me to go there"- the real point, i <em>think</em> anyway, is that this matters, but onnly in how you react to it- IMHO,someone who got in and says "It was my dream and my life and I'm so happy to have fulfilled my dream!" is perhaps taking as unfulfilling an attitude towards the decision as someone who says "it was my life and my dream and now I can't fulfill it".</p>

<p>On the other hand, someone who says "Bah I got in, I dont care, I would have been happy at any school" is probably takign jsut as much of an unfulfilling approach as soemone who says "I didnt get in, I don't care, I never cared for MIT anyway".</p>

<p>I think the most fulfilling attitude lies somewhree at an intersection of those four quadrants :)</p>

<p>
[quote]

The best part of your post is where you say that you respect me since I'm a Caltech student.</p>

<p>That's terrible. You should never respect or disrespect anyone because of the college they attend(ed). It's a horrible measure of an individual's true character or worth.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I guess you prove yourself correct; no matter how good an institution like CalTech is, it doesnt say anything about the respect deserved of the people who attend there. Take yourself, for example.</p>

<p><burn> ;) </burn></p>

<p>Okay, all kidding aside: I never said that I respected you more or less for attending CalTech, but what I <em>guess</em> I was trying to say was that: Most (not all!) of the less sensitive people on these forums- the ones that say "suck it up", "its not going to matter, get a life and stop whining" etc etc tend to be the ones that got into the institution of their choice anyway, or something very close besides. It's hardly fair to expect someone to react well to such advice under <em>any</em> circumstances, but when its coming from people who got into the institution of their choice (or who make it seem as if they are at the institution of their choice) and proseletyze and say "Get over it, this doesn't matter"- well, lets just say that that sort of an attitude tends to decrease people's respect for both you and your advice for extremely obvious reasons.</p>

<p>In other words: You're not helping, and you're probably only exacerbating the problem.</p>

<p>And i never, ever judge people basedon their status- only on their actions. Based on our interaction thus far, draw your own conclusion as to what sort of character I believe you have.</p>

34

<p>I'm inclined to agree with dragon-</p>

<p>The decision carried different significance for everyone. For some, it was a whatever-I-got-into-Harvard-already-and-was-planning-to-go-there-anyways, but for others (like a good friend of mine last year) it was dream beyond dream school. Sure, say what you want about people who fall in love with a particular institution but attachment of any sort is hard to just "get over". </p>

<p>I'm not saying it's constructive to morph into a puddle on the bathroom floor, but I am saying that grieving a day (or two) after the fact, if the decision was a negative but significant one, is perfectly ok. But if you take it to extremes and make yourself look like a fool, I will yell at you.</p>

35

<p>I understand that it's sad to be rejected...but there are too many people in the world who don't have access to running water, shelter, or adequate food, and who every day are threatened by war. There are far more people who never see the inside of a school building of any kind. Every one of us in this thread has the priveledge of attending college - so what if it's not MIT? You can get a good education anywhere; it's all what you make of it. Life goes on.</p>

36

<p>To the person who posted before me, the world is not homogenous. Please understand that countries like India have a space research program also, even though half the people there are starving. Same way that we still have luxury hotels when so many people have to live in community housing. The world is NOT homogenous and such comparisons as you put forward mean nothing. To quote someone on the Princeton forum from last year, What will you tell your 4 year old sister who is crying because she dropped her lollipop? To shut up because there are graver problems in the world?</p>

37

<p>So? I didn't say the world was homogenous. I merely said that there ARE people who live in desperate conditions, and aren't even able to attend secondary school, much less college. Where they live is irrelevant. People who do have the opportunity to attend college at all should be grateful for it. Perhaps my comparison is a little extreme, but think about the title of this thread. Is it really appropriate to compare not getting into a specific college to a mental disorder that afflicts those who have witnessed violence and murder?</p>

38

<p>I agree wholeheartedly with amy. I will admit that trauma/pain/sadness/etc is all relative (i.e. if your used to going through a lot of problems having your parents die will be less traumatic than for someone who always has everything go their way), but nevertheless LIFE HAS ITS DISAPPOINTMENTS. Nobody goes through life unscathed.</p>

39

<p>That was an example, amyoplast. Of course I understand your point. What I meant was that everything is relative and different people take things in varying degrees of seriousness. To not totally negate the value of something that obviously meant a lot to the OP is what I was pointing at. Because compared to the examples you gave, I would consider myself so highly privileged that I will never even think of getting/doing something better! I just meant that it's a matter of individual context and the overall condition of the world can hardly be applied to judge (can't think of a better word) one person's situation.</p>

<p>I share</a> your point of view, although to a much lesser extent.</p>

40

<p>Well, then zoom out further, if you are so inclined.</p>

<p>In all the billions of years of the universe, you're not even a speck of dust, you will leave nothing behind. Nothing you do, achieve, believe in, matters. Your life and death means nothing. You may as well have never existed. Your insignificance is mind-blowing. If you really want perspective, use that. Whether you want to live by that, however, is up to you.</p>