<p>Californiaâs Major Publics:
UCSD: Great bio and computer science program, but lacks a social scene(University of California Socially Deprived). For UCLA/Berkeley rejects</p>
<p>San Diego State: Where the UCSD kids go when they want to party. STDSU Good business program, but for slightly above average students who couldnât get into SLO/UCs. </p>
<p>UC Riverside: At least itâs not Merced! Sometimes called UC Rejects, since itâs almost never anyoneâs top choice.</p>
<p>UC Irvine: A LOT of Asians. Known as University of Chinese Immigrants. Its science and engineering programs are excellent, but it has a very large suitcase population. </p>
<p>Cal State Long Beach: The Cal State thatâs inexplicably popular with out of service area students. Very average school, but because of its location, a lot of kids, especially from inland areas, want to go there. </p>
<p>UCLA: Itâs one of the best public universities of the world. Legendary basketball, and a world famous football rivalry with USC. For top students only. </p>
<p>UCSB: Congrats on making such excellent grades in high school. Now pass the handle/bong. Itâs Wednesday. Itâs time to party. Sometimes called University of Cannabis, Sex, and Beer or U Can Study Buzzed. Great location in a nice college town. One of the whitest UCs. </p>
<p>Santa Barbara Community College: Are you rich, but couldnât muster more than a 1.9 HS GPA? Do you want to party? Well come on up to SBCC, where you can mooch off of the UCSB students in Isla Vista all while pretending to study so you can one day transfer to the school you wish you could have gone to from the get go (or at least thatâs what you tell people). Worried about money? Nonsense! Daddyâll pay for your absurdly high Del Playa rent.</p>
<p>Cal Poly SLO: The only CSU that matches and exceeds most of the UCs in terms of prestige. Great engineering, agriculture, architecture, and business. Awesome location. Most residential of any of the Cal States, and employers across the West hold it in high regard for its âlearn by doingâ approach. Itâs also much cheaper than a UC at full cost, so quite a few UCSB/UCD/UCI cross admits end up enrolling there. </p>
<p>UCSC: University of Cannabis Smokersâ Central. After Berkeley became hyper competitive, it sort of took on Berkeleyâs hippie reputation. Extremely liberal and inside a forest. Good art and computer science. The safety school for UCD/UCSB/ UCI.</p>
<p>UC Merced: Brand new school. Most people think youâre better off going to a community college or the local CSU. Admits those that donât even apply and in the middle of nowhere. Itâs where UC Riverside rejects go if they want the UC name. </p>
<p>UC Berkeley: Crazy hippies, nerds, and Asians galore. Probably the best UC, with world class programs in almost any field. Itâs insanely difficult to get into, and getting a 3.4 is considered extremely impressive. The pride and joy of California public education. </p>
<p>UC Davis: University of Cow Dung. Seen as mostly an agricultural school in the middle of nowhere. Its other programs, which are mostly at least decent, are often under appreciated. Itâs assumed that if you go to Davis, your eventual life goal is to be a vet. For some reason, one of the most popular middle tiered UCs (Iâve been to the campus and was not impressed).</p>
<p>Sonoma State: Quiet little CSU up in Napa Valley. It has a nice campus, and a good wine making program. A lot of weaker students who couldnât get into/afford a UC opt to go here. </p>
<p>Humboldt State: Were you so high during the UC application that you forgot to start your UCSC application? Well donât worry, Humboldt State is here for you! Weâll teach you how to optimize your hydroponics and UV light to make a product everyone in Venice Beach will appreciate. We pretty much accept everyone (except conservatives. No conservatives allowed), so come on up to a place that you literally didnât know existed.</p>