Posted Essay- Any comments?

<p>Here's my question: my brother, whos in college now, used the following essay for his college apps to answer the diversity question that many colleges asked about. He didn't have much encounter with diversity in the common sense, so he decided to just use this for the prompt. Can you guys read it and tell me if is the sort of thing that is acceptable to answer the aforementioned diversity question? Because, like him, I'm probably going to have to do something out of the box. I replaced his name with xxxxx and the university's names with _______. BTW, would this be a good example of a essay for top schools (like top 20 ranking), or should I try and write something better?</p>

<p>Edit: I just read the CC's take on essay posting and decided it would be best not to post this, even though he gave me permission, but if you PM me I'll send it to you for comment.</p>

<p>oh BTW he gave me permission to post this.</p>

<p>i loved that essay. i think that it would work for the diversity prompt, even though it isn’t really what they’re looking for, because it isn’t the same BS they are probably used to reading, and it really makes ________ come across as a great person to be around, that anyone, no matter their background, could be friends with. In fact, it makes me want to go meet the kid right now.</p>

<p>okay, that makes me much more reassured. I’m going to try and think something else up thats pretty original for my essay response. What only I, or maybe a few others, would bring to the campus.</p>

<p>yo pm me if you still want readers.</p>

<p>PM it please. I’d love to see it.</p>

<p>i would also like to read it!</p>

<p>I would love to read it.</p>

<p>I’d love to read it. I also wrote a somewhat different interpretation of the diversity prompt, so I’d love to see his.</p>

<p>I can read it too :)</p>

<p>I am not sending out any more PMs, due to a lack of responses (no replies besides virtuoso!) and me already being pretty reassured that this kind of thing will work.</p>

<p>yeah i think it would be an acceptable answer even if its not the most traditional way. it shows his character well and how he was able to successfully impact others in a positive way.</p>

<p>can i see it?!?</p>

<p>Can I see it? I’ll PM you.</p>

<p>I’d love to see it too :)</p>

<p>Can I see it too… lol</p>

<p>Seriously, can you guys read? In post 11 he said he wouldn’t send the essay out anymore.</p>

<p>so leave him alone!</p>