Not sure if this is in the right category or not, but I think it fits here.
I’m a junior in the process of exploring colleges, and I have a very solid list of reach, target, and safety schools I really like. However, my parents want me to apply to (& seem to want me to attend) a very small religious college because, due to my parents affiliations to this college and my high stats, I am looking at such significant financial aid that I would graduate debt free. After undergrad, I plan on pursuing a graduate degree, likely in law, so it makes a lot of sense why I should attend a school where I can graduate without debt.
The problem is, I hate this school and I cannot imagine myself thriving as a student there. I have been on campus and talked to admissions representatives, as well as done online research, and this school does not have some of the most important things I’m looking for in a college, including the major I want (they do have a similar major).
My parents still see it as a great option, but I really don’t think I could thrive in this environment.
I completely understand how impactful student loans are and I do wish to minimise the amount of student debt I take on, however, I also don’t want to feel stuck during my college years.
Is it completely unreasonable of me to not want to graduate debt free from this college, or is it a “suck it up for 4 years of your life” and be debt free later?
You need to explore your other options. If you can find another school that you like that won’t cost you too much (because of low tuition, other scholarships), keep it on the table. If the other options you want will cost you $30k per year and your parents won’t take out loans, then those aren’t an option for you.
Would you be willing to go to a school near your home and commute? CC for two years? Work hard for the next two years to save money?
I would start off with laying out any stats you have - a GPA, SAT once you have it.
There will be many inexpensive schools, depending on your stats.
As for your folks, you’ll need to remind them this will be your experience. Perhaps you’ll want a bigger school where you have more range of majors, or access to sports or greek life, etc.
I assure you - there are low cost schools out there - some by price, some with merit.
We can help once we learn more about you - but if your parents are hard pressed on the school, it still may take a bit of persuasion.
First step is to talk with your parents and understand the budget for college. How much can/will your parents pay for college per year? Students can only take out $27K in total loans (generally) over the 4 years of undergrad, any loans beyond that are on the parents, either directly or as co-signers. Parent loans generally aren’t recommended.
Graduating debt free is a very good idea, but if you have high stats you should have more than one way to get there.
As others have said, share your stats & people here will share ideas. You might have to dump your existing list- some of the best value options are not on most students radar, b/c they are less well known, but they are places where you can get a very good education, not incur debt, and not be in a “very small religious school”
ps, good news: law schools won’t care whether you went to a famous name uni for UG or someplace under the radar. Look at the HLS list of unis the most recent incoming class attended - iirc there are 160+ unis on the list!
What is this special major this school doesn’t have?
What exactly does it not have that you want?
Give this group more info…like your current GPA, and if you have taken the PSAT or SAT, what was your score.
What exactly do YOU want in a college? Perhaps if you post your stats and current possible list, folks here can help you find affordable options that are similar.
BUDGET. You will need to either have a contribution from your parents annually…or get a full merit ride that doesn’t require their cooperation if it’s over their budget. So…what is their annual budget for you to attend college?
Do you have siblings who will be attending college after your…or have already completed college?
I completely understand your not wanting to attend a small religious college. I also completely understand your parents’ interest in having you go there, especially if you would receive huge fin aid there.
There are ways around this. If your stats are very high, you may be able to get substantial fin aid or even a free ride at certain state schools (some flagships), or at third tier liberal arts colleges that are more to your liking. Your options are likely broader than massive debt or only this small religious college.
The way you feel is not unreasonable. 4 years is a long time to “suck it up” somewhere that isn’t a good fit for you. The good news is there are other ways to get a free ride or nearly a free ride to school, especially if you have high stats. If you happen to qualify for National Merit, for example, there are schools that offer full tuition plus stipend for NMS. My advice would be to begin to research schools with great merit aid, as well as the cost for your in-state public schools. You can also run expected cost calculations at schools to see if you might qualify for need-based financial aid; some top schools will cover full need if your family qualifies.
The financial aspect is certainly an important one, but your happiness and mental health are important too. Make sure you do the research to truly know your options so you can make the best choice for yourself. Good luck!!
Is the issue more than money - but that your parents want you at that particular school? Because if so, that’s a huge issue to overcome needing different strategies.
If it’s purely monetary, you won’t have any issues most likely - with great grades, etc.
Another issue here that you don’t really address in your post is the religious aspect. Do your parents want you to go to this school because it is religious or just because it is inexpensive? Will they be against you going to a secular school that comes in at the same price? Is the religious nature part of the reason that you don’t want to go there? These are all key factors that need to be considered when people try to recommend different schools.
I’m not thrilled with the religious aspect, but my top choice is a religious school, so I don’t have a strong argument there.
I know they’d be okay with me going to a state school, but that would still likely require me to to take out some loans since our income doesn’t qualify me for more financial aid (according to the net price calculators).
Ok, so secular schools are ok, and I’m guessing you’re in CA due to your list of schools. What exactly is your budget? How much can your parents pay before loans are needed? Do the instate publics hit your budget or not?
Do not fall in love or hate a school until all admissions decisions and offers are in hand.
This is a big assumption. You are a junior in high school and a lot will change in the next year. Your parents haven’t told you that you must attend this school. They are asking you to apply because they feel that it is a good option. Plenty of parents do that. Don’t dig your heals into the ground. Apply, apply to other schools, and make and educated (and hopefully non-emotional) decision next May.
What’s the budget. If you get a 32 ACT or equivalent SAT, Alabama will be under $20K. Ole Miss will be cheap - and they have the Kroft Institute. U Denver is outstanding in IR - will be $50K-ish or a tad less - so likely cheaper than your top 3 plus GW and AU.
U of Arizona, with a 3.9, will be $25K-ish.
There are many more - and you can study PS/IR most anywhere.
The schools you list, unless you have demonstrated need, will be more - but you can study IR at so many schools. Your reaches all meet need - if you have it - you’d have to have your folks due a net price calculator to see.
You won’t get enough merit money at a school you want to go to. California publics are your best option. Finish your associates as quickly and cheaply as possible and transfer to a UC. You can borrow 7500 a year junior and senior years, you can borrow 5500 the year you are at community college, plus you can work some starting now and bank the money. The privates you are dreaming of are unaffordable, but luckily you have great in state options.
Assuming OP is a CA resident, this is a really great option. 2 years at CA community college (I took a course at one, and it was one of the finest I’ve ever had in 20 years of K-12, college, and law school) and the transferring into a UC is a real option. We know several people who did this and transferred into “top schools” like Cal and UCLA.
Again, for a CA resident, it is a tremendous option to consider seriously.
I wholeheartedly agree with @parentologist on this suggestion.