PR LiveGrader demo grades in.

Test Preparation
1

<p>I guess all you were right - a ploy to get people to subscribe to their service. I don't want to boast, but I thought my essay was pretty damn good:</p>

<p>Living in a middle class family I have the luxury of having many personal belongings. Often times I envelope myself in such items, believing that they somehow define me. Yet as I look at my fortunate situation in its entirtey I realize that in truth a person's possessions and education does not truly define a person.</p>

<pre><code> In today's society it is hard not to believe that our belongings and education define who we really are. We are bombarded with tabloid television shows that tout the mega-mensions up for sale in exclusive neighborhoods. Whenever we hear of a speech to be given from someone who attended an Ivy League college we all get excited to hear the words of a true erudite scholar. Though the average citizen becomes infatuated at such displays, do these displays really make a person better than the poor man who due to unfortunate circumstances is forced to live in an almshouse? Often, more than not, those people are the ones with true character and a strong will.

Take F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic novel The Great Gatsby for instance. Here we have a story of a very wealthy man trying to woo his long love by showing off all his possessions. Mr. Gatsby hires workers to make his property dazzling with vibrant foliage and bands to make his parties lively, doing so to impress his guests with his sophisticated style and manner. Yet all of Mr. Gatsby's chores are done in vain, as his life ends in tragedy; Mr. Gatsby never woos his love, he is shot by a peer, and almost no one attends his funeral. This story is a prime example of how one with excessive indulgences can still be truly unhappy.

Often times many people believe that a person who attended a prestigious university is somehow better than one who attended a lesser known one. Unfortunately, I have even had such thoughts before. However, two people who break the mold of that definition that I look up to greatly are my parents. My mother attended a local community college and my father did not attend college, yet that fact alone does not take away from my awe in them. They've proven to me that they are two people of great character, striving to overcome financial problems and personal problems, regardless the fact that they did not attend a high caliber university.

In our nation of prosperity many people often find it hard to believe that people without great possessions or a great education have anything to offer. However, I challenge that position, instead believing that people who are not as fortunate as others to have luxuries often have something those people with luxuries do not have - character.
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<p>But I received a score of 8 with the following comments:</p>

<p>Content
Providing more detail for your examples will make your argument more compelling.
Your examples are appropriate for the topic. </p>

<p>Other
It is important to convey to the reader whether you agree or disagree with the prompt, and I am very glad that you stated that clearly. However, besides simply stating your position, don’t forget that the Assignment asks you to support it “with reasons and examples”. Avoid making generalizations or arguments without reinforcing them with facts and analysis. Just by saying that something is true doesn’t make it true. Specific examples are almost always better than general blanket statements. Keep in mind that if you can incorporate current events, history, or literature into your examples, then you have not only strengthened your argument, but also you have impressed the reader with your vast range of seemingly infinite outside knowledge. </p>

<p>Umm, they said my examples were "appropriate" but I need more detail? What do want me to do, summarize the whole damn book of "The Great Gatsby"?! I guess I could go into some more detail with my anecdotal paragraph, but still, this is probably more than I could actually write (this was a type demo) and I got an 8. Sorry if I sound boastful but screw that - this essay is definitely better than an 8; I'd say 10 at least.</p>

2

<p>wow, princeton review is totally screwed up, i RECEIVED THE EXACT SAME RESULTS, WORD FOR WORD.</p>

3

<p>this is surprising? :-P</p>

4

<p>I got a 10/12 they just told me to connect my paragraphs better, but overall they were very flattering. it seems ok to me....</p>

5

<p>maybe they copy and paste what they think is appropriate from a list of pre-written responses?</p>

6

<p>Me too! I got an 8 with the same exact response.</p>

7

<p>I'm an SAT tutor, and I can tell you right now that your essay is NOT an 8. It's more like a 10-11 out of 12. Your sentence structure was varied, and your vocabulary was, at times, pretty impressive. Your three solid examples supported your position, which was stated pretty clearly in the opening paragraph, quite nicely. There were occasional mechanical flaws, such as using "often times" instead of the correct "oftentimes" (which was also a bit repetitious), but, overall, the essay was fairly error-free.</p>

<p>PR does not know how to grade essays, or they are trying to get your money.</p>

8

<p>I got an 8 and mine was obvious-crap</p>

9

<p>told ya :p another way for princeton review to suck ur money. id give ur essay a solid 11. good evidence and syntax, etc. etc.;i also like the reference to the great gatsby. i just read that book!</p>

10

<p>adiasity what was the text u wrote?</p>

11

<p>I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't think that essay was above a 9. It had many of the right ideas, but you did have some grammar problems (and will always lose a point or two from that), and the sentence structure didn't flow completely. Your examples were appropriate, but not sufficiently developed before you repeated why they were good examples. An essay that is an 11 or 12 will make you nod your head in agreement or see the point very clearly, and I felt that you weakened your essay somewhat with what appeared to be attempts to use vocabulary words and transitional phrases. It didn't feel "natural" and I think you probably lost a point there too. </p>

<p>I don't think PR was off the mark with their comments at all. I know it's tough to hear that when you think you've done a great job, and you did do well, but there is room for improvement. There almost always is. If you're going to improve your writing, not just for the new SAT essay, but also for yourself for other endeavors, then you should take the criticism constructively and look at ways you can further strengthen your already good writing skills.</p>

<p>When I first took advanced composition (the creative writing class at my school), I thought I was a great writer. Always got As in English and always crushed my writing assignments. I was quite wounded to see a B on my first creative writing assignment, but once I got over it I realized my teacher's comments were right. It made me a better writer (although I'm still better at analytical writing than I'll ever be at poetry!!!). </p>

<p>So even though PR used some standard text for their responses (I'm sure they received thousands of essays and have seen thousands of the same types of "errors", so of course they're going to have to do that), I think the feedback is still good. I didn't see anything in what you posted where they tried to get your business or sign you up for a class, so not sure what you're upset about there. When I signed up on their site I could opt out of getting emails, so if that's your problem, just do that.</p>

<p>Hope this helps....take a deep breath and take a step back, and then look again at your essay and how you can improve it. Maybe even show it to your English teacher for feedback, without showing him or her what PR said. Then take both comments into consideration and make it even better.</p>

<p>(I'm feeling like such a cheerleader today!)</p>

12

<p>I have to agree with Dilbert (great cartoon today, too, buddy, lol). There is always room for improvement and your writing sounds a little forced or practiced. I think most of the people who get 12s are the natural writers who can write just about anything. With a little work you can definitely get into the double digits. You're a good writer, crypto, but just need to finetune a little to be great. Don't fault the grade PR gave you. Take something positive out of it and strive to be even better.</p>

<p>Rah rah!</p>

13

<p>My essay was about the evils of materialism and the corruption of money and how even though some money is good, it is capable of adulterating almost any field that is originally uncontaminated by greed and avarice. just that kinda stuff i got a 10.</p>

14

<p>Collegeboard has provided a sample essay prompt, scoring rubric, and example essays for each score, 1 to 6, at <a href="http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/newsat/prep/writing/essay/pracStart.html?essay%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/newsat/prep/writing/essay/pracStart.html?essay&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p>

<p>If those sample essays are any indication, I think crypto should have gotten a ten. His essay, in terms of the quality of the writing, is much better than the essays scored 1-5. Yea, his examples need more explanation, but someone basically scanning the essay is not going to take 2 points for that.</p>

<p>I missed out on doing Livegrader; however, I do have an 800 on the Writing II test, and my essay was junk. On the II, they aren't especially concerned about the quality of your examples may be--they just want to see that you can write coherently. Make sense. Have some bit of flow. That probably won't change. You only get 25 minutes, so spelling or grammatical errors will be mostly forgiven, even in a six.</p>

<p>Judging by those sample essays, a coherent essay will get you a four, and anything more will bump you up to a five. It's no secret that PR is out to make as much money is they can. I would guess that in their criticisms of the submitted essays, they plugged their test prep services somewhere. Get you concerned and get your money. It's the PR way.</p>

<p>Crypto, if you can put some more depth into your explanations, an 11 or 12 is money in the bank.</p>

15

<p>Dilbert,</p>

<p>You are absolutely wrong. Your standards are way too high, and you are forgetting that students only have 25 minutes for an essay. We are NOT talking about essays or papers you would write for English class! The essay is at least a 10 -- period.</p>

16

<p>Dilbert is way off base. That essay would score between a 10-12. It is a bit long, however, and if you were writing it by hand I don't think you would have enough time or room. Some schools ask for a copy of the SAT II essay and some students request a copy to include with their applications so I have a few real examples of essays which earned a 12. Most of those have some errors since it is impossible to write a perfect essay in 20 minutes and the scorers realize this. If anyone is interested, I'll post some samples.</p>

17

<p>yea post. plz</p>

18

<p>The prompt: Discuss a rebellion in terms of cause and effect.
(typed exactly as written by student) score: 12</p>

<pre><code>The jazz/rock fusion "rebellion of the 1960's and 1970's was a new type of music which brought new life to the jazz world. This music called fusion brought together elements of both jazz and rock 'n roll. Fusion was seen as a rebellion because it was a new form of music which people were not accustomed to and it therefore, did not get much approval at first.
One man is considered the founder of this jazz/rock collaboration, and this man is Miles Davis. This legendary trumpet player began playing the first sounds of fusion in the 1960's. Miles Davis led his own band, and he encouraged his band members to move on and create their own influence on jazz.
First, guitar player John McLaughlin is one of these band members. McLaughlin started his own band titled The Mahavishnu Orchestra (underlined). The music produced by this band was seen as abstract art. Some people were mesmorized by it while others were repelled.
Secondly, piano player Chick Corea is another Miles Davis ex-alumni who moved on to form his own band. This band, Return to Forever (underlined), had many different combinations of members, but Chick Corea and bassist Stanley Clarke were the foundation of the band. This band, which became heavy and loud at times, was able to use the jazz/rock combination to its best by still showing its roots of jazz in its complicated music.
Nevertheless, Miles Davis began the jazz/rock "rebellion" and allowed his students, John McLaughlin and Chick Corea to exand on this new art form. This rebellion is more appreciated today and has great effect on today's jazz music as well as on rock 'n roll. Fusion is music for the mind, played by musicians with extreme musical talent. In today's musical world where musicians continue to strive for excellence, people and musicians can look back at the fusion rebellion of the 1960's and 1970's as a successful one.
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19

<p>The paragraphs don't show up in this post, but they begin with One man, First, Secondly, Nevertheless.</p>