<p>This is going to sound selfish, but there is no way I want to live with a pregnant girl.</p>
<p>Back story:</p>
<p>I haven't had it confirmed by the roommate, however I know from one highly reputable source that one girl in the dorm is for sure pregnant. That one hasn't gotten out of our Residence Life Association. I'm the first to know. I'm really close to the manager. He wouldn't spill a name, however. I am almost positive it's my roommate. I live in a small triple room. She is already the emotional, somewhat crazy one before pregnancy hormones kick in. </p>
<p>Question One: How to I officially confirm this? I don't feel comfortable talking about it behind her back one campus. This isn't a rumor that should be spread. It was mentioned casually to me, and I mentioned it jokingly to a good friend in the RHA not expecting the rumor to be confirmed to some extent. I just thought it was a joke going around since our hall is talkative and it's well known my other roommate and I got sexiled by her three seperate times in a weekend. I also can't address this directly with her, from what I can think of. We already have a rocky relationship. There's no way I could joke about the rumor or try to ask for a confirmation.</p>
<p>Question Two: I know on one aspect this is not my business. She has a lot to deal with if it's true. Her family is highly religious. The boy is going into the military. She is in her first semester. There is a ton to this. This is not my business.</p>
<p>But I also have to look from a person in school paying for a small room at an exorbitant price. I might be unfair in saying this, but I don't think it's fair to ask me to live with a pregnant student (if she decides to stay). There is a level at which women in pregnancy cannot control their moods and hormones. She is already a bit on the emotional insensitive side (not to say that I don't fit in that category as well, but just setting the stage) I can't imagine trying to share a very small triple with a girl who can't hardly control emotions. </p>
<p>What is my role in this? How can I confirm, or do I just let it rest because in all reality I can see where it is indeed none of my business (especially in comparison to what she is potentially dealing with). Finally, above all, if she is pregnant, it is confirmed, and she chooses to stay in school, what are my options?</p>
<p>If she’s indeed pregnant, then she’s got enough problems coming her way without you bugging her and being all willy nilly. Do her a favor and just mind your own business… please</p>
<p>You already fell into the trap when you said “I don’t mean to be selfish, but…” </p>
<p>Seriously, it’s absolutely none of your business. She most likely has a ton of issues going on right now and yes, if she indeed becomes “hormonal” or whatever then it might be a problem but you shouldn’t be generating any sympathy from this situation. Let things progress and if she actually is pregnant and the pregnancy starts to develop, she’ll almost surely do something about it. Your role in this is to NOT have a role in this, how about that.</p>
As thankyou4flying already said, your role is to not have a role.</p>
<p>
You don’t, because her medical history is absolutely none of your business unless she chooses to share it with you. The fact that your manager was even speaking to you about this is unbelievably unprofessional (and likely illegal, but that’s another story).</p>
<p>Seriously. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.</p>
<p>
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!</p>
<p>Honestly, from other things you’ve posted, you have valid reasons to dislike your roommate & want a room change (based on your sexiling thread… but you also failed in communication with that issue…). This is not one of them.</p>
<p>Not sure why the others are being so harsh on you. I personally wouldn’t want to live with a pregnant girl either, but I don’t think that her pregnancy warrants being kicked out of the place. There really isn’t anything you can do then hope for the best.</p>
Whether or not she is pregnant is irrelevant. You have a difficult relationship and have felt put out and inconvenienced. That needs to be worked on, or try to change rooms next semester. People can be moody and/or insensitive for a variety of reasons… as you indicate are well aware. BE part of the solution, not part of the problem.</p>
<p>Although I can fully understand what kind of situation you are in right now, you definitely (like you said) just leave her alone and let her mind her own business. If the girl has issues, hopefully she’ll be able to solve them herself. You don’t have to get meddled in with business that isn’t yours.</p>
<p>This has to be one of the dumbest threads i’ve seen in a good while .
It doesn’t concern you . </p>
<p>PS: I refuse to live with an assigned roomate( been able to get singles thus far, very lucky on my part), since I personally don’t want to deal with another person’s drama . At least your roomate isn’t doing something illegal , at my last college the kids were stupid enough to smoke weed in the dorms , so something like once a week the cops would bust someone and arrest them for all to see .</p>
<p>I dont know why everyones being so hard on you, even though she didnt do anything crazy or illegal, if it really bothers you then try to move away. Im guessing youre around 18-19ish if youre still living in dorms so thats her problem if she decided to not take precautions and get preggers at 18. Just because she didnt care about getting pregnant doesnt mean you should take the hit for it. If she really is pregnant then youre gonna have a lot of problems down the road with fights over nothing so if you feel like moving away then go for it.</p>
<p>How could another person’s pregnancy possibly affect someone else? The assumption that women get crazy when they’re pregnant is pretty sexist IMO. The OP and her roommate obviously have issues, but the pregnancy isn’t one. If you want to move elsewhere, do it, but the roommate’s pregnancy is none of your business.</p>
<p>Btw, I’m pretty sure what your manager did is illegal. If not illegal, highly unethical and I’d be pretty ****ed off if I was your roommate and found out the manager blabbed even without my name.</p>
<p>People are being pretty harsh. I don’t buy the whole moodiness thing (if you can’t tolerate her now, you can’t tolerate her, don’t use the pregnancy as an excuse), but I would be annoyed if my roommate had severe morning sickness for months. Having taken care of my mom through 3 months of it, I would be seriously annoyed at having to help my roomie empty vomit bowls.</p>
<p>As for being your business, I think it’s fair that if you’re living within the same room, a lot of things are “your business”. I had a roommate who had some condition on his groin. Not an STD, but something that made it itch. And he’d constantly comment on it, sometimes groaning about it “burning like fire” while we were going to sleep. So yes, I think you have a right to be concerned that it may affect your living arrangements. Doesn’t mean you should be trying to kick her out, though, until it actually does.</p>
<p>If your roommate is female, then you’re female too, and that probably means you have extensive experience dealing with mood swings. Why should this be any different? Like any other health issue dealing with a roommate, this is none of your business. You may say you’re not being selfish, but you really are. She’ll likely only be there for this semester, so I’d say to just suck it up and deal with it- after all, it’s not like you’re the one that’s pregnant.</p>
<p>If she is pregnant she is going through a very difficult time. The right thing for you to do is lay off her and be kind and sympathetic. Don’t make this about you. She doesnt need any extra drama. Being nice – and NOT talking about her to other people – is the only way to go.</p>
<p>I’d just like to speak as a mom and as someone who HAD a pregnant roomate in college. First of all, it’s not true that women loose control of their emotions when prgnant. SOME women might SOMETIMES get more emotional, but if it were true that we just can’t control them at ALL, women everywhere would have to stop working once pregnant. So you can rest easy that she won’t be a quivering mass of craziness. Chances are most times you won’t even notice the pregnancy. IF it’s your roommate at all.</p>
<p>Secondly, in my roommates case, she was raised by an ignorant single dad who never taught her the facts of life and she thought she was “safe” but obviously was not. She was pretty torn up about it and trust me, the nicest thing you could do would just be yourself leave her alone. Even aside from her being from a super-religious family, she has some major decisions to make and she’s not going to be out to bother you. </p>
<p>For now, instead of believing rumors that someone had no business spreading, just let it go-she’ll tell when she needs to.</p>
<p>It’s really not your business, unless your RM chooses to confide in you, and given the state of your relationship with her, that is unlikely to happen. I find it hard to believe that any person in dorm administration would be speaking publcily of anything the roomie may have confided…that’s just not right, and that person should be fired immediately for a complete lack of discretion.</p>
<p>My guess is that if your RM is truly pregnant, and plans to have the baby, she will finish this semester out, and then withdraw for next semester. So you don’t really have more than a few weeks left in which you need to deal with her. </p>
<p>Part of me thinks it would be a kindness to tell her privately about the rumor about her that is going around, because if it is not true, the rumor should be stopped. Not that there should ever be malicious gossip anyway.</p>
<p>I actually might confront her about this, if possible. It isn’t your business, but I do think roommates have some obligations to one another. If this pregnancy is true, then this girl is surely going through a lot and will need some support and understanding from those around her. Sit down together privately, tell her that you’ve unfortunately heard some rumors, and that you’re concerned. True or not, she should know what’s being said and by whom. Be as kind as you can, absolutely avoid showing any kind of judgment, and offer to help. If she gets hostile, tell her you just wanted to make sure she was okay and then back off. </p>
<p>As far as living with someone pregnant, I agree that it’s unfair to you, but I think you should stick it out unless it truly becomes a problem.</p>
<p>“As far as living with someone pregnant, I agree that it’s unfair to you,”</p>
<p>HOW on earth is it unfair? In what way does the roommate’s pregnancy impact the OP unless they’ve been partying together and now the pregnant roommate won’t drink? REALLY, I’d like to know. </p>
<p>People live with pregnant women ALL THE TIME and there’s nothing “unfair” about it. Unless there are serious complications, in which case the roommate would probably leave school, her live should be pretty much the same as far as day-to-day living goes. The only thing that changed with my roommate was that she napped more often. And that worked out because like most people I didn’t spend every waking moment in my room. I didn’t see anything at all “unfair” about it.</p>
<p>No, it’s not unfair, and I’m actually more apt to believe that it’s unfair to the OTHER girl that the OP is trying to meddle in her personal issues and might already be assuming that the situation is going to turn unpleasant.</p>