<p>Well, it's D-Week in our house. My D's little pod of Ivies + Stanford all send notifications in the next five days. So I am protecting myself, and so her, against the sting of rejections. Three parts to this. First, I remind myself that we already know the outcome of my D actually going to college will be good. She has been accepted to all the UCs she asked for, and may get a Regents at Cal. Second, I need to make sure I remember throughout that she is still the same shiny creature and I will lose no pride in her should she be rejected at all the schools yet to notify. Third, I am gazing at her red hair and long neck. I am cooking her grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes, all to make sure I can quickly find the spot where I love her all accomplishments aside, as I have loved her from the very early days, that spot where she is and always will be my first baby.</p>
<p>To help me with goal number two, I am going to take a moment for bragging rights here on cc, where people are so forgiving. I think telling you all what her teachers say about her will give me the shot I need. I am weak, I know, but this is the best I can do. I quote below two excerpts from my D's midterm progress report.</p>
<p>AP Calculus BC
Basically, D is an amazing calculus student!...I see D as one of the strongest math students I have ever taught - but what is more amazing is that she is as wonderful a person as she is a math student!</p>
<p>AP English
D is an extraordinary young woman--quite likely a genius. Her insights into the literature we read (some of the most challenging in the canon) are extraordinary for anyone, let alone her age, and she expresses them with great power and clarity.</p>
<p>All right you crapshoot elite universities, bring it on.</p>
<p>Wow - wonderful teacher comments! I'm impressed both by your d's qualities and the fact that her teachers made the effort to include such individualized comments. Our report cards and midterm reports are all done via computer, and we've seen the same 4 innocuous comments for the past however many years it's been ..... "A pleasure to have in class"; "Great kid - I really enjoy working with him/her" (how's that for personalized?); etc. There has been the occasional amusing moment when the wrong comment has been keyed in, as when the comment on an A-plus grade was "lower grade due to poor test performance." (?)</p>
<p>Just think - after this week, your daughter gets to do the accepting/rejecting! Enjoy.</p>
<p>I have been accepted into UVA and William & Mary - the former as an Echols Scholar and the latter as a James Monroe Scholar. Both schools accord this honor to only 5-8% of the entire freshman class. So, I am flattered to be wooed by these excellent schools.</p>
<p>I have applications pending at Harvard and Yale and was deferred by Stanford. If I don't get into one of these I will be disappointed but not devastated. Quite simply, I am entirely satisfied that selection to one of these schools is a crap-shoot. I know students in my school who got accepted into an Ivy after applying EA and others who were, IMO, as qualified or more even more so, who were rejected or deferred.</p>
<p>I'd love to get accepted into one of these three - getting accepted into more than one would merely be good for my ego! Not getting accepted into any of them would not make me feel inadequate since, on paper, I have all that it takes to get into one of these schools. But I am also cognizant that there are thousands of other applicants who are as qualified as I am - if not more so. If I did get accepted by one or all of these schools, it would delight me. However, I'd stilll view it as a crap-shoot - but one where I came out ahead.</p>
<p>I would suggest that is how your D should look at it.</p>
<p>I was talking to a friend today who is trying to have a baby. Her frustrations brought me back to my miscarriages and how hard they were at that time in my life. One month after one miscarriage, I got pregnant with my S who is now 13. </p>
<p>Now, if I had not had that miscarriage, I would not have my son... my adorable son who gave all his Bar Mitzvah money to charity, who actually recently <em>danced with me at a party in front of people he knew</em> (!) who has a great great sense of humor (while shopping--Me: do you like this shirt?" Him: "Mom, I have some news for you. I'm not gay.") and who most nights lets his little brother sleep in his bed. This is one great kid! </p>
<p>Something I thought I wanted didn't happen; allowing something else just perfect to happen... Life goes like that :) </p>
<p>Good Luck Alumonther, & congrats!! Your D sounds INCREDIBLE!</p>
<p>Alumother: My best friend has three daughters like yours. We make fun of her because her perspective is so....warped!</p>
<p>Most parents NEVER get teacher comment like those--much less two or ten per year. Ha!</p>
<p>Most parents live in the regular world; ie "he's not living up to his potential" or "he has Saturday detention because he threw a banana at a cricket batter in the playground."</p>
<p>IF the UCs recognized her brilliance, somebody at the Ivies+Stanford will too. That is for certain. Lucky, lucky you! And one: "Atta girl!"</p>
<p>SB: Loved the quip. Reminded me of this past Xmas when my 70 year old mum took my 15 year old S to get a pair of jeans. S came back, jeans in hand, shaking his head. Apparently, Mum had S come out of the dressing room. "Show the nice salesman your toochy in that pair."</p>
<p>"I don't think Gramma knew the guy was gay," he says to me with a solemn look.</p>
<p>JMmom, Mom0f2InCA, MusicMom: I feel like you are going into battle with me.</p>
<p>Marite: Thank you for the succinct mantra. I will be repeating it.</p>
<p>Frazzled1: I am lucky enough to send my kids to a small private high school where the teachers come to know and love the kids and vice versa. You are right, it's something I am always thankful for.</p>
<p>Newby and wouldbemd: You are both teenagers I believe. Thanks for chiming in. If you don't mind, I'm not going to post her stats again, you can find them if you search on my name. I'm trying to stay pure and find her perfect - stats always leave room for queries. Good luck to both of you in your college and in your probable eventual parenting.</p>
<p>SBMom: Understood. Great post. I put my OP here precisely so I could stay in the state of remembering what you have said here. And the son in pants story is perfect since I have an S following up.</p>
<p>Cheers: Thank you. Did anyone you know actually throw bananas? My best friend has five kids - some of whom have definitely thrown bananas. She tells me the same thing, calls my D a "shiny pearl". And I tell her her kids have spirit the likes of which most of us never experience. And then I remember that shiny or no in the world's eyes we love them for that first quaky breath they drew.</p>
<p>Oh yeah. 'Someone' threw bananas at the cricket batters. 'Someone' who looks like I spat him out my mouth. 'Someone' who should be acting like a junior...sigh.</p>
<p>Welcome to my bubble. Jamimom has seen the inside of this bubble, haven't you J? :)</p>
<p>Gotta go re-read the thread about 15 year old girls wanting 15 year old boys to be "mature, honest and interesting". For the giggle...</p>
<p>You have my sympathy/empathy...altho you're smarter than I; you're prepping for coming out on the wrong end of the roll of the dice...my S is much like your daughter (to our parent's eye, perfect in all respects--and that's not much of an exageration!)...it's been since December and I'm STILL shocked that Stanford turned him away...</p>
<p>GLory in how wonderful your daughter is; brag in capital letters (I'll write back each time to agree with you!)...and be prepared to "hate" those crapshoot schools in your innermost secret heart, no matter how "rationally" you may speak in public! </p>
<p>Don't forget to let us know the outcome...we care almost as much as you do!</p>
<p>Alumother, yes, I am a senior in high school going through the college app process. By the end of this week, I will know the status of all my apps.</p>
<p>One thing that is not apparent from your posts on this thread is what precisely your D's expectations are with regard to the Ivies and Stanford. It is apparent that you feel that her credentials entitle her to a place. Don't let your sense of disappointment, if she does not get into one of these schools, be known to her. Your D seems well qualified - but believe me that there are literally thousands of other applicants who at least as qualified, if not more so. I did a cursory look for her stats in your other posts and could not find it. It really is neither here nor there because even if she had perfect stats, she might still not get in. </p>
<p>I attend this VERY selective public school which admits about 420 freshman each year. It is open to pretty much all 8th graders from Northern VA. In 2005, there were 153 National Merit Semi-finalists from my senior class of about 420 - the highest in the nation by a wide margin. Most have stats which should make them shoo-ins for an Ivy or Stanford or MIT. This is from just one school and when you multiply it by the thousands of schools around the nation with similarly qualified applicants, it becomes apparent why this whole thing becomes such a crap-shoot. After all, there were over 16,000 National Merit Semi-finalists from across the nation - and then there were thousands more who did not make that list who also have outstanding credentials.</p>
<p>Above all, don't let your expectations and disappointment, be apparent to your D, if she does not make it into one of these schools. My parents are both high achievers but they genuinely feel that if I don't get into an Ivy or Stanford, it is not a reflection on me. In fact, they have repeatedly said that with the magnitude of competition that exists, getting an acceptance becomes almost a roll of the dice.</p>
<p>As I said, getting into one of these schools will merely mean that I came out ahead when the dice were rolled. Despite having excellent stats, I would not for a moment assume that I was, in some way, entitled to a place when compared to other equally or better qualified applicants.</p>
<p>SBMom: "My adorable son who gave all of his Bar Mitzvah money to charity." Wow - I love hearing stuff like that. And it says more to me about your son (and you) than an acceptance to ANY college ever would!</p>
<p>Alumother, I am right there with you, waiting to hear from Crapshoot U. S was deferred EA and has since been accepted at another great school. However, three close friends are in at CU and I know he would like to join them. Thursday can't come soon enough for me.</p>
<p>wouldbemd: Good luck to you this week at Harvard and Yale. And while I don't know William and Mary, UVa is a great school. I know in my rational mind what you say is true. See, what I'm trying to do here is make very clear to myself that it's my pride, my disappointment, not hers. It's me who can't quite give up my decal fever - not a rational concern for her future. So I am using cc as a way to vent, so that when the day comes, not only will I conceal any disappointment, I will actually feel less. Because my D is also somewhat psychic (no kidding) so in her case I have to go for actual mental health not feigned:)</p>
<p>Again, good luck. I keep wanting to call you honey - must be the mom in me.</p>
<p>i'm freaking out this week as well. my son has been rejected from 2 colleges and accepted into 2 colleges. he wants USC in the worse way though and we still haven't heard. of course, he's trying to get into the film production major - EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE, and he's been lazy in hs, thinking that his talent will somehow prevail. the problem is, he has such extreme passion for filmmaking that this is the only thing he's been focusing on for the past 6 years - studies weren't even secondary. i know talent has alot to do with acceptance to these "talent oriented" majors, but so do grades. i am preparing for the final rejection this week, but hoping for the opposite.</p>
<p>schoolmarm, thanks. Perhpas you can issue me a reminder in 4 years because so far this son is an academic slacker! </p>
<p>He told me he thought it would make the Bar Mitzvah more meaningful to help others. In his sister's speech that day, she said, after praising his uniqueness & character, "and then you told me how you had decided to ask that in lieu of gifts today, people would make a donation to a charity, and I thought.... Boy, you're really gonna regret that!" :D Got a huge laugh.</p>
<p>A few people gave him 2 checks (one for charity, one for him) so luckily he got a little something too. </p>
<p>And now back to Alumother's regularly scheduled thread:</p>