<p>It's getting ridiculous. I almost regret scoring decently on the PSAT and checking the box that allowed colleges to receive information about you and mail you information about themselves. Now, since my older sister flunked out of U Florida (she's smart, ridiculous lazy though, never went to class) and is now attending community college, all his "hope" is on me, and being his only son, makes it even worse.</p>
<p>I've received letters from the Ivies, saying blah blah blah check us out, but I disregard them knowing i do not have a shot at all, and have never been interested. My dad on the other hand, sees them and gets ecstatic and now calls me his future "Yale Son", and he is positive I'll get in. On top of that, he's basically shoving pharmacy/biomedical engineering down my throat, though I keep telling him I want to go into Electrical engineering.</p>
<p>I JUST CANT TAKE IT. I find it harder to pull off good grades now (though they haven't dropped) because I feel as if I'm working for a future that isn't really mine.</p>
<p>I'm not sure what to do. My dad is one of those parents who thinks that his children are Einstein prodigies if they just study a textbook for a couple more hours.</p>
<p>All my life, I have just kept quiet and appeased my parents while my sister was the more vocal and radical one, but I think it's time I took my stand. He says I can go major in whatever I want AFTER I get what he wants me to get, but I don't want it like that. I want to be done with schooling the first time around (unless I go grad).</p>
<p>Anyone have any suggestions on how to approach this situation? It's getting out of hand, and I'm losing my "drive" that's been keeping me going in high school. I'm afraid I might fall back on my old tendencies and my grades will drop...</p>
<p>Thanks for reading.</p>
<p>Hmm i’m sure a lot of CCers can empathize. The thing is, since you are dependent on your father currently & will probably rely on him to pay for some of college, you still have to listen to him. </p>
<p>However, it is all about compromise. You are a smart individual, so you need to speak to your father and try to agree on somethings. Suggest a double major in both chemical/bio medical engineering (though that would be really difficult), or a minor in one of them. Show him the numbers that show that statistically chemical engineers earn more than biomedical engineers. </p>
<p>Also, don’t have such a defeatist attitude about getting into top schools like Yale; there is nothing wrong with applying. I understand that being called “Yale Son” puts undue pressure on you, and try to impress that upon your father.</p>
<p>I think you have been overworking yourself and over stressing already, and that this issue just brought you to the boiling point of feeling that all of your hard work isn’t really worth it. Have you tried having a reasonable conversation with your father? Don’t completely rebel, but demand that you have some say in how you choose to live your life.</p>
<p>Hope this helps.</p>
<p>Why don’t you tell your dad essentially what you’ve just written to all of us? You need to be able to express your feelings and desires to him. He sounds like he is proud of you and wants you to go on to succeed. As the above poster mentioned, make a compromise: You will go on and succeed, but doing what you want to do; not what he wants you to do.</p>
<p>There is no secret method of getting parents to understand us other than by sharing our thoughts and feelings with them, and working on these obstacles together. :)</p>
<p>Best of luck.</p>
<p>Hey, I’m basically in the same situation…started in middle school though. Now it kind of died down, but it still sucks b/c “why are you trying to sleep, I’m going to sleep, but you’re young, so you have to study…oh, TV and Internet shouldn’t be in your dictionary…sat. and sun. aren’t your rest days, they’re work days also…etc.” still occasionally goes on. But then again, it’s dying down…</p>
<p>Also, just keep a positive attitude…remember that while your dad is pressuring, your dad is trying to help you in his way and will pay and etc…and while you remember that, remember that this IS your life…therefore, that this IS your life should be your drive instead thinking of it as “I’m going to loose my drive” b/c whatever you do in high school will help you in your real goal also…</p>
<p>It helps talking…though for me at least that is a very dangerous road w/ stubborn parents…careful chosen words help…</p>
<p>Hope your pressure dies down too…</p>
<p>lol if your dad thinks your going to get into Yale just because they are asking you to check them out he is in for a rude awakening</p>
<p>just get all F’s. duh.</p>
<p>I’m glad my parents aren’t pressuring. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s the exact opposite – they SO want me succeed. My dad has encouraged me to be motivated and strive for success in a bit of a subliminal way. Since I was very young, he has instilled the value of learning, trying your hardest, and the importance of going to college. For as long as I can remember, I have always made every effort to do good in school (from elementary days onwards) and make my way to a decent college to get a good education.</p>
<p>When I was younger, I was motivated with money. $50 for every all-A’s report card. As I got older though, I didn’t need to be told to do my homework, and I wasn’t pushed to study. My parents only want me to do well. How I go about doing it doesn’t matter to them. Now that I’m older, there is no monetary or tangible reward for doing well… just pride, achievement, and the idea of getting into college. </p>
<p>I feel bad for some of you who have parents that push you to be golden children and hound you every step of the way (as in post #4, above). My parents don’t care if I don’t do my homework, do bad on a test, or don’t study for a week straight; all they are interested in is the end result - and that is, good grades. They have given me the responsibility as well as opportunity to manage my own schedule and study habits, and do things the way I want to do them in order to succeed.</p>
<p>It’s a shame that some parents feel the need to control each and every aspect of their children. They should simply 1) instill good values (very young ages), 2) give their children the means to succeed (entering the teens), and 3) sit back and watch their children succeed, independently (high school onwards). </p>
<p>Sorry for ranting a bit. I just hate seeing bad parenting (don’t know why). I can’t wait to raise my own kids properly.</p>
<p>LOL at him calling you his Yale son and then wanting you to be an engineer.</p>
<p>@SeekingUni- That’s almost exactly like my parents!
@Millancad- LOL</p>
<p>I’m Asian. That is all.</p>
<p>Kalookakoo - As a dad of 2 grads, and a current HS Star Soph, I say why not get your dad involved - the way you want him to be? (Yeah - My son gets all the same mail from the same schools.) </p>
<p>So, Talk to your dad, and tell him that you will get the grades, while he can organize top schools - THAT YOU WILL REVIEW, AND PICK FROM TO APPLY TO. That way you keep him involved - and off your back - but you get to decide where to go. Throw him a bone and tell him you’ll be happy to apply to Yale and grow up to be like C. Montgomery Burns, or even worse, G W Bush. </p>
<p>However, it should be uderstood that while you value his input, YOU will be making the decision where to go. (Unless financial considerations become hugely important.)</p>
<p>Good luck .</p>