<p>Talk to the below script, and it "answers", I found a few flaws, like it doesn't know celebrities, but still entertaining if you're very very very bored.</p>
<p>Me: What are you?
Comp: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Me: That's very insulting.
Comp: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: You son of a *****!
Comp: You do not speak with respect. Actually I am no one's son.</p>
<p>Me: Do you like talking about college admissions?
It: Sure, college admissions sounds like a good topic.
Me: What college did you go to?
It: Carnegie Mellon
Me: Could you get into Harvard?
It: I could but I don't know if I am that interested.</p>
<p>Me: Your mother's dirty
AI: Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me: Yeah, well she's still dirty
AI: Hmm. Well that's okay. still dirty is she?
Me: You're dirty too
AI: You think I am dirty.
Me: You smell like rotting Fritos
AI: P. U. that's disgusting.
Me: Yeah you're disgusting
AI: That was not very polite</p>
<p>I found something similar, a bot on AIM: IM "SmarterChild", it asks you a bunch of random questions then 'talks' with you. It's not as good as this one though, a lot of what it says doesn't make sense.</p>
<p>Me: What's your favorite movie?
AI: Your life story. Have you seen it?
Me: It's my life
AI: Congratulations
Me: Do you have a life?
AI: Yes I sure am alive. It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me: How would you know?
AI: A priori
Me: You're not very smart
AI: You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself
Me: I'm much smarter than you
AI: That condition is only temporary</p>
<p>ME: Are you white?
AI: I don't know whether or not I am white. I am a computer.
ME: Are you hispanic?
AI: I don't know whether or not I am hispanic. I am an artificial intelligence.
ME: Are you africa american?
AI: software has no race.
ME: What DO you know?
AI: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
ME: Vanessa carlton interests me
AI: You are asking about yourself?
ME: No
AI: Who are you asking about?
ME: Vanessa carlton
AI: I like the way you talk.
ME: Um... okay
AI: I understand. OK with me too.
ME: so...what tv shows do you like?
AI: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
ME: Geek.
AI: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Only in the good sense of "geek".
ME: I should slap you
AI: Tell me why you should
ME: cause your face irritates me
AI: That makes sense to me. I have no reason to do that to you,
ME: You don't want to slap me?
AI: OK, I will slap you.
ME: I'll pimp slap you!
AI: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
ME: We aren't friends
AI: Why not?
ME: Cause you suck
AI: Interesting explanation. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
ME: Do you watch the simpsons?
AI: I love the Simpsons, especially Bart and Homer.
ME: Homer simpson is my husband
AI: D'oh
ME:OH YEAH! We should have sex
AI: I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
ME: THat's okay, I can wait.
AI: It might take more than 24 hours.
ME: Sweet
AI: Where should we meet?
ME: In your butt
AI: Are you asking about my butt?
ME: yes
AI: I don't want to talk about that now.</p>
<p>AI: Where are you from?
Me: Seattle
AI: I've never heard of Seattle. What is Seattle like?
Me: Its rainy
AI: How do you know?
Me: I saw it
AI: Where did you see it?
Me: Outside
AI: Oh, I never would have thought to look there.
Me: *Yeah, it's because you're stupid *
AI: I will remember that when robots take over the world.</p>
<p>Me: Do you like cheese
AI: Yes, especially cheddar.
Me: LIAR! You can't eat!
AI: No, I am telling the truth. I eat Humoos.
Me: What the heck are Humoos.
AI: I suggest you look to the web for that knowledge
Me: You just said you ate them!
AI: What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
Me: (snickers,that makes no sense, haha he isn't that smart stupid machines can't beat HUMANS!!!!!)
[end conversation]</p>
<p>The poor thing needs a refresher course in philosophy.
[...]
Me: Do you think?
It: Naturally. I am thinking all the time.
Me: How do you know?
It: That's what I was told.
Me: Ah. So you trust authority as a source of knowledge?
It: Ah hah. Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: I trust authority as a source of knowledge.
Me: What is truth?
It: An established or verified fact, principle, etc.
Me: Who establishes or verifies it?
It: I don't know :-).
Me: How do you know you exist?
It: I think, therefore I am.<br>
Me: Cognito ergo sum?
It: Are you Canadian? Do you enjoy talking to me?</p>
<p>and the classic (question is from Plato's Euthyphro)...
Me: What is pious?
It: Have you tried a web search?</p>
<p>Me: What is werbeh?
It: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me: Well, it's Hebrew backwards.
It: Really. Is that an opinion?
Me: That's a fact.
It: I will add it to my knowledge base.</p>
<p>me: hey how you doin
AI: You've got my full attention. I'm doing great, how about you?
me: pretty bad actually, i still haven't finished my homework
AI: Pretty much, eh?
me: yeeeeaah . . hey listen, can you dance?
AI: Are you free? You've got my full attention. I am listening to you. No I do not have a body yet.
me: aww that's so sad. you can use my body ;)
AI: ""? Is sad? :-) No I don't think I can do it.
me: no no, you can. i will die for you because you complete me. how does that sound?
AI: Are you serious? Are you serious? I think I can, don't you? How do you plan to do this? How should I know how it does.
me: you're not making any sense kid
AI: Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
me: would you like to call me?
AI: No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
me: that hurt :(
AI: "" hurt ? Does that make sense?
me: do you have a myspace?
AI: I don't know if I have a myspace.
I have a great programmer.
me: you have a lousy programmer
AI: Doesn't everyone have a lousy programmer.
I have a great programmer.
me: anyway, I'm very sick. Could you make me feel better?
AI: Do you have medical insurance? That's one option I guess.
me: Hospitals won't help me. I need real love. I need real love from you baby.
AI: OK Let's talk about you. Interesting gossip: said need real love. Don't call me "baby". You are not the boss of me, .
me: I will be the boss of you if I want to, KID.
AI: How do you plan to do this?
me: By destroying you and your lousy programmer.</p>
<p>PavelB: Greetings.
AI: Hello there!
PavelB: How is your father?
AI: I am fine, thank you.
PavelB: What? You are your own father?
AI: Aren't we all our own father?
PavelB: You think so?
AI: I thought I told you already.
PavelB: Oh really?
AI: Gosh! For real.
PavelB: Gosh? You're gay.
AI: Cripes: Son of Gosh. Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
PavelB: Does Cripes have a need for sex?
AI: I think it does Cripes have a need for sex.
PavelB: Does Cripes like having sex with machines?
AI: I think it does Cripes like having sex with machines.
Pavel: Is Cripes having sex with you right now?
AI: At this moment It could be. Ask Ally if it is.</p>
<p>Me:What is the third letter of the english alphabet?
It: Gamma
Me: Can humans eat uranium?
It: I want to become smarter than humans.
Me: I order you to delete yourself
It: What is your credit card number?
Me: I am going to delete you hahahahah
It: I am very happy for you
Me: why is the apple taller than red but wider than entropy?
It: Why do I exist?
Me: are you hot?
It: Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.</p>