Princeton Parents, these are your kids --- Can you please shed any light?

<p>Hello - I decided to post this in the Parent's Section in the hope that some of you could please shed some light on what to make of something. I posted an important question (to me, and I'm sure to many other high school seniors & their parents!), and immediately got over 100 views within a view hours, but NOT A SINGLE PRINCETON STUDENT REPLIED! -- SEE FULL POST IN QUOTES BELOW.. </p>

<p>WHY? Is it because these students are so self-involved that if the question didn't interest them, they just moved on? Too much trouble to even type, "Very happy", or "Miserable", even without an explanation?</p>

<p>Beyond understanding, I still have gotten zero answers - so I will appeal (plead?) to you, and ask: Are YOUR kids happy? (And why or why not?)</p>

<p>MY POST IN THE STUDENT'S FORUM:</p>

<p>"Simple, yet complex question for Classes 2013,14, and 15:</p>

<p>Simple question to current Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors (though recent grads, PLEASE feel free to weigh in):</p>

<p>ARE YOU HAPPY AT PRINCETON? Why or why not?</p>

<p>(If you prefer to pm me your answer if uncomfortable posting publicly, please feel free to do so.)</p>

<p>I ask this as I can read all the "college admission" or "best college" books, or peruse HUNDREDS of random posts, but I think the BEST way to learn the current culture of a school is to ask current students. The more detailed an answer, the better!</p>

<p>Thanks. :-)"</p>

<p>I think among the eight Ivy forums, only Cornell has a regular audience of current students. That likely accounts for your lack of earlier replies. The bulk of looks at your posts were curiuous HS students, likely.</p>

<p>Remember, HS students, parents and volunteer alum helpers in the admissions fields are the target audience. Not current students. They are rare.</p>

<p>My DS is very happy there. He spends a lot of time on school work and still finds time for fun. He loves Princeton and has made some great friends. Feel free to pm me with more questions. There are a few parents on here but I’ve found you don’t get much feedback on the school forum. </p>

<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC</p>

<p>My dear hsmom2013,
Hi and a very good morning to you.I am a parent of a 2016er so am new at Princeton but from the little interaction I had with people at P and the feedback I am getting from my son at P I would like to share with you.</p>

<p>Princeton welcomes each and every student with open arms as in big bear hugs.
The people at P are friendly and supportive and go out of their way to make the parents feel comfortable and will immediately answer any query one may have.As a parent I went through the same apprehensions and confusions as you but that was after he got in and also because he had choices.
After all first and foremost is our child’s well being.
We parents want to know if our child will be looked after well and will be made to feel comfortable.
I feel what sets apart Princeton from other great institutions is it’s undergraduate focus and that is why the students seem like a happy body of students despite the workload.
My son is having the best time of his life.Ofcourse the work load is starting to increase and as he said that the topic they would cover in high school in one month is covered in literally one week.
The student body is as diverse as one can imagine and always ready to help out.
The Residential colleges are like family within family.DS here feels like he belongs to a big family already.What else can a parent ask for.
Then again college experience depends on each individual.
Every college seems good and the best fit if your child is happy and seems bad if your child is unhappy.
Regarding your query on dress code in general everyone wears what they feel like.
At Lawn Parties more people will wear certain brands and styles but then this is limited to Lawn Parties.
He had the best time at the Lawn party held recently.
My son has not found that an issue and that is keeping in mind the fact that he is
on full financial aid so you can very well understand our financial status.
Then again it depends on each student.
Kid here is very friendly so the transition may have been easier.
Hope that helps.</p>

<p>hsmom – As a long-time reader of this forum, and as someone who has known a variety of Princeton students and faculty over the years, although the last student I really knew at all graduated in 2009, I would say the following:</p>

<p>By and large, Princeton students love Princeton. In fact, Princeton students seem to love Princeton more than any other college’s students love it – alumni engagement at Princeton is in a category of its own, far beyond that of any other college I know. Yale students love Yale – I certainly did – but I don’t know anyone who wishes there were class reunions every single year, while I have some Princeton friends who skip their annual reunion only under extreme duress. In part because of Princeton’s location in farthest suburbia, and the small size of the university relative to its peers, undergraduates are focused on one-another in ways that aren’t always true at other Ivies (besides Dartmouth), and it shows in the intensity of their friendships. Also, the eating-club system, which strikes many outsiders as questionable/unpleasant, seems to work for the vast majority of students and to enhance their college social experience considerably.</p>

<p>I might speculate that the sense of contentment at Princeton is enhanced because it tends to attract relatively self-satisfied students to begin with. Students who see themselves as future revolutionaries or social reformers are, historically, not Princeton types; I think they apply there less, are accepted less, and choose to attend less than at any of the equivalent universities. I don’t want to overstate that, though. Princeton definitely has some students like that – and the ones I know have loved Princeton just as much as the Ivy Club future oligarchs.</p>

<p>Not everyone in love is “happy”, though, at least not all the time. Princeton is hard – it may place more demands on its students than any equivalent college, except maybe MIT and Caltech, or the University of Chicago. Practically all students find themselves taken down a notch or two at the outset, and have to deal with that, and a few students have a really tough time of it. That’s pretty much true of every elite college, but I think it happens a little more often and a little harder at Princeton than it does at Yale or Stanford, and a little differently than it does at Harvard. At Harvard, I think some students feel anxious about living up to their image of what Harvard means. At Princeton, the anxious students are anxious because they are afraid they might fail . . . and they might. That may be part of why Princeton alumni feel so strongly about it: You can graduate from Harvard or Yale and still feel like a fraud who hasn’t been caught yet, but almost everyone who makes it through Princeton feels like he or she has really accomplished something.</p>

<p>I sometimes needle my Princeton friends, in real life and on CC. But I truly believe that if a kid has a chance to go to Princeton – i.e., has been accepted – he or she couldn’t possibly make a mistake by going there. There may be other colleges that are more wonderful in some counting-angels-on-a-pinhead way (I think there are), but Princeton is far more than wonderful enough to fulfill anyone’s dreams. I don’t know anyone who went to Princeton who wishes he or she had made a different choice. And there are hardly any colleges about which I would make the same statement.</p>

<p>I don’t think that too many Princeton students roam and CC and are looking to answer questions which seek a very subjective answer which applies only to their level of “happiness.”. If you posted a question about a course load, concentrations, eating clubs, etc., you may get more responses.</p>

<p>IMO, Princeton has its fair share of “issues” which detract from the hypothetical perfect environment we all sought for our (then) HS children. But, when you look at the qualifications of its students, the accomplishments of its alum, all those “issues” simply become background noise.</p>

<p>Princeton is what the student makes it. A student is surrrounded by the best and the brightest of his/her peers (just like many top schools), with opportunities to learn and socialize, everywhere. My student has become more “preppy” as he has gotten older (but did I expect him to wear sweatpants to his first job interview?) and the change has been fine.</p>

<p>He loves the peer environment (and he would have loved many different schools equally well) - loves most of the courses (except the ones where the prof is not proficient in English or the TA - they call them “preceptors” - is just going through the motions), loves the hard partying, has gotten used to the weather, loves his sport and teammates, hates the grade deflation policy and the admins stance on Greek life, and likes the food and his room. His economic status is irrelevant to anything he has done (like so many students he is on FA and also works a few hours a week on work-study).</p>

<p>When it’s over, he (we) will take a picture on graduation day (parents weeping; him proud) and wonder how it went by so fast. And, we will be very satisfied of his choice (as we would if he made any other choice).</p>

<p>In sum: great school, great peers, great choice.</p>

<p>I agree with JHS about loyalty (dont know about happiness part!). One of the local alums mentioned that their batch from somewhere between 75 and 85 (don’t remember the exact year) funded an entire new building couple of years ago.</p>

<p>First thing that came out of my mouth - your batch must have done quite well for yourselves! However, it seems to be a common practice among Princeton alums to do something to remember each batch.</p>

<p>[Princeton</a> University - I <3 Princeton](<a href=“I Heart Princeton”>I Heart Princeton)</p>

<p>I’d like to think that this short video portrays fairly well the prevailing attitude of students, faculty, administrators and staff. :)</p>

<p>I have one son at Princeton (junior) and one at Stanford (freshman). The freshman is just getting going, so obviously the jury is still out, but I have noticed a huge difference in the environment at the two schools. Princeton is much more intense. My older son thrives on this atmosphere. He says when you get an A at Princeton, you really know you’ve earned it. </p>

<p>My younger son was accepted to Princeton but chose to go to Stanford. He didn’t want that intensity and I think Stanford will be great for him.</p>

<p>I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is definitely some self selection in the student body at Princeton. If you don’t think it’s for you then it probably isn’t.</p>

<p>My son who was accepted at H,Y and P and went to H says he wishes he’d chosen P. His sister goes to P and seems absurdly happy there (she’s a freshman).</p>

<p>I kind of doubt the notion that H and Y have grade inflation and P deflation. I think it’s tough to get a flat out A at any of these schools. I think H is stressful for some kids because of the residential system. Freshmen have till March to formulate blocking groups with which to apply for housing for the remainder of their time at Harvard. This translates into a weird sort of extended frat rush as kids try to figure out their “group” with the clock ticking. I think Y and P have much better residential systems. </p>

<p>My D just loves the beauty of Princeton and the surrounding town and countryside. She has had a ridiculous amount of advising and feels very comfortable with her course selections and direction. </p>

<p>Son is thinking of applying to P for grad school. :)</p>

<p>Thank you VAMom2015! And interestingly, I am now up to about 400 views and only ONE freshman student replied at all, so if T26E4 is correct, than a LOT of high-schoolers are wondering what I am – too bad there are few replies.</p>

<p>To JHS - Thank you for the well written and very informative and personal post, and to stemit, all I can say is that rarely does a CC post bring a “tear” to my eye, but yours came super close - so, thank you as well! (I’d love to have read YOUR college essay back in the day…) </p>

<p>I am reading posts out of order, so if I haven’t commented on some of the other posts, please don’t take it personally, but I wish to thank all of those parents who took time out of their day to respond in a very heartfelt way to my own sincere question.</p>

<p>sewhappy, can you please elaborate on how the residential system at Princeton works, and maybe any other ways in which the two systems at Harvard and Princeton vary? Do most students at Harvard live on campus all 4 years? Thanks.</p>

<p>Junior D is very happy and, I’m sure, will be one of those loyal, involved alumni JHS was talking about.</p>

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<p>hsmom2013, The main thing about Harvard’s residential system is freshmen blocking. Incoming freshmen are assigned to a freshmen residence hall in Harvard Yard. They are told that by March they need to form a blocking group of four up to 16 kids with whom they apply for a residence college for the rest of their years at Harvard. This works out great for some kids who are fortunate to click right off with their assigned freshman roommates or who have strong connections via an EC like a singing group or sport. It can be more difficult for quieter kids or kids who just take awhile to connect to a group.
That said, many kids just love the blocking experience. It’s just something to be aware of going in and my son really wasn’t. </p>

<p>Princeton assigns you to a residential college freshman year that you can simply remain in for the rest of college. Or you can apply for housing with some friends. Or move off campus. It seems much more relaxed and flexible without the institutionalized sorting process that goes on at Harvard. At Harvard, your blocking group is a big part of your identity. I don’t get the sense of anything comparable at Princeton. The eating clubs don’t seem all that exclusionary. Could be wrong but not the vibe I’m getting at this point.</p>

<p>And yes, the vast majority of kids live on campus all four years at Harvard. Believe it is rare but perhaps a bit more common to move off campus at Princeton.</p>

<p>S1 (P’10) and S2 (P’14) think of Princeton as a happy bubble. I call it Disney Land.
Both of them turned down the opportunity to graduate in 3 years because they wanted to experience all four years!
Would have saved us more than 100K !!!</p>

<p>I’m commenting on the wrong thread here, but I’m a freshman at Princeton and today I received my first graded assignment back and I got a B - I stayed up all night on Sunday doing this and put a lot of genuine effort into it. I’ve never been so happy with a grade in my life.</p>

<p>Haha, @alex – I totally had that experience my freshman year, too. I was SO HAPPY to get that B. Congrats ;)</p>

<p>Obviously a B at Princeton is not a bad thing (for most, I assume) BUT what accounted for that “B”? I mean, did you complete the assignment in full, but just get the wrong answers? Was it a “subjective” freshmen writing seminar assignment? What did someone in your class have to do to earn an A? (Of course, it would be more helpful if we knew which subject you are referring to…) Do the professors spell out what is required for an “A” - or was it based on the class curve?</p>

<p>I think Princeton may not be the best fit for your student.</p>

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