<p>I'm currently in a kind of weird situation with my roommate and I'm not sure how to solve it without causing hard feelings.</p>
<p>I am attending school in North Carolina. My roommate is from Oregon and I am from West Virginia. Geographically speaking, I'm closer to the school than she is. We are currently discussing dorm room appliances. Since I am planning on driving to our school, I was completely fine with purchasing the larger appliances, including the refrigerator, fan, lamps as well as a few smaller things such as a hand mixer and rice cooker. We had agreed earlier that she would purchase the microwave when she arrived.
She also wants several appliances that I think are rather unnecessary, including a blender and an expensive coffee maker (think Keurig/Verismo or one of those high-tech espresso makers with a milk frother). I'm completely fine if she wants to purchase these items at personal expense since there is no voltage limit to our room and we know that our room is quite large. However, she suggested that I purchase the coffee maker and that she purchase the microwave and blender. </p>
<p>While money is not the issue here, I don't really think it's a fair split. I purchased the fridge in the brand she insisted on (because I didn't really care which one we get but it was not exactly cheap as far as minifridges go) as well as the fans, both of which we agreed were essentials. She knows that I don't drink coffee and I can't think of many uses for a blender either when our meal plans are already set. </p>
<p>Since I live much closer than her, I was happy to bring the chef knives, cutting boards, utensils, and plates/bowls/cups. However, I really don't want to have to buy another (expensive!) appliance for college. I don't want to start off the year on the wrong foot but I'm not too thrilled about buying something I probably won't ever use. </p>
<p>How should I tell her tactfully that I don't think the coffee maker and blender are necessary and that she should purchase them at her own expense if she really wants them? Am I wrong in not wanting to buy the appliance because I don't ever plan on using it and have already covered (hopefully) my fair share of the appliances? I'm worried that I might come off as selfish or uncooperative. </p>
<p>I'd really appreciate any advice you can offer! Thanks!</p>
<p>I would state it exactly as you said here. It’s perfectly reasonable not to pay for it if you’re not going to use it/don’t want it. She shouldn’t expect you to. You are already bringing a lot. </p>
<p>@KKmama our school only covers 12 meals of the usual 21 meals in a week. I definitely think that the number of appliances we already have probably rivals that of the campus kitchens. However, I enjoy cooking/baking and don’t mind purchasing the extra appliances. I’m just not a big fan of coffee…</p>
<p>Don’t buy the coffee maker. You don’t need it. You won’t be using it. She can purchase it if it is necessary for her. You guys are collaborating on appliances you both will be needing. Don’t buy the coffee maker. </p>
<p>Tell her that when you guys eventually stop rooming together, whoever bought the appliance keeps it. So it makes sense for her to buy the coffee maker & blender since you wouldn’t use it anyway.</p>
<p>To me it sounds like she is taking advantage of your generosity. Based on what you wrote, there is a LARGE imbalance in sharing expenses. Microwaves oven are cheap. Everything you are buying adds up.</p>
<p>When she decided to attend your school, she knew that buying supplies is more difficult. Most buy supplies at home and ship it or buy it when they get there or shop at stores like Bed Bath and Beyond and pick it up at a local store. It is not that difficult. </p>
<p>You need to learn to say no. Your other option is just say you cannot afford it. I assume that you do not have an unlimited budget. Buying what you don’t need and will never use makes no sense even if you can afford it.</p>
<p>why don’t you buy the microwave and she can buy her blender and coffee maker. or just say you will not purchase anything you won’t use. also think about what you guys will do when you move out to switch dorms for spring or next year. if you bought the coffeemaker you would basically be buying her a coffeemaker since she would take it with her.</p>
<p>She already sounds like a problem. You need to say something now or she will take advantage of you all year long. I had a friend who was trying to be nice to her roommate so she bought a lot of the appliances and the roommate continued to mooch off her all year long until my friend finally told her that she was done paying for her stuff. Be nice but don’t let people take advantage of you. You don’t drink coffee so there is no reason for you to buy an expensive coffee maker or the blender. You have already spent more money than her on the appliances. </p>
<p>Don’t buy the Keurig. Don’t buy any more shared items for the room. Tell her that you don’t drink coffee or that you prefer to make it in a French press, percolator, stove top espresso maker, whatever. If you have to make something up in order to avoid being impolite, do so.</p>
<p>You guys should have been splitting expenses down the middle from the beginning. With apps like Venmo, it’s easy to do this in a fairly social, nonawkward way. At my school, it was all the rage to get an Uber ride with friends and then use Venmo to split the tab, while describing the payment on the app in some silly, vaguely illicit way. </p>
<p>Even if money is a nonissue, as you said, you don’t want someone to be mooching off you for an entire year, if not more. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t say that you don’t want to not pay for the coffeemaker. Say you don’t want EITHER.
If you said no to the coffee, she’d probably just tell you to buy the blender. If she buys the microwave, coffeemaker, and blender, you will have pretty fair distribution of payments.</p>
<p>you can get all the “stuff” you want once you are on campus and actually figure out what you will or won’t use, and where it will, or won’t fit–there are lots of stores in North Carolina, and if getting to a store is difficult, there is always Amazon Prime. Is there a kitchen in your room? Or do you plan to monopolize the floor kitchen?</p>