I’d also say for my homeschooled junior, doing a rolling review of math all the time alongside a regular math curricular made a world of difference in his ACT math scores. We just used ACT math books and had him do 3-5 problems a day. If he had problems, we’d find review on that topic area. ACT/SAT are testing differently than other types of tests and require speed and focus and fast recall to really hit the high scores. I think it’s harder to improve the reading and writing sections.
“She is in her room studying all the time.”
Does she have anywhere else to go? It sounds that the decision to home school has been too isolating.
Who are her friends? Are they at school or does she have new ones from sports or volunteering?
Sounds like some of this was brought on by distance to school and driving (or bussing). Could she drive herself?
I may be off base here…forgive me if I am…but this is coming from a place of good. I would have her talk to a therapist. Some of what you are describing is how anxiety has presented itself in my son. A good therapist may be able to help you and your daughter untangle all of this. Best of luck to you both!
@Cof22mom
Search “deep work” and/or Cal Newport. It is fascinating (and alarming).
Back to OP’s daughter, I kind of agree with @SwimmingDad that your DD might have depression and/or anxiety issues that should be addressed. How’s her sleeping? Does she sleep 8 hours a day?
@MonstersInc It sounds as if your daughter did 9th and 10th grades in a public school, and chose to homeschool for 11th this year, but now you want to call this a repeat of 10th grade, and yet she only has 2 more credits to graduate??? I’m sorry but none of that makes sense.
You also mentioned a “gap year,” but a gap year is the year between graduating high school and starting college — you don’t just take a “gap year” in the middle of high school. The reality is that your daughter is a homeschooled junior this year, and it sounds like she will graduate at the end of next year. She may only “need” 2 more credits to graduate, but she should carry a normal course load next year if she is hoping to apply to colleges.
You also mention that she is “giving you hell,” and yet she sounds like a pretty typical, although anxious and stressed out, teenage girl. A score of 1200 on the SAT is not horrible, it is well above average and she has plenty of time to prep for a better score if she wants to aim for a more selective college. If you continue homeschooling next year for 12th grade, I would seriously look into some online courses that will help keep her accountable and on track.
I also agree with several other posters that she should talk to a therapist, because she sounds confused and anxious and possibly depressed.
I think on the academic front, she needs more interaction. A lot of learning is collaborative or interactive and Khan does not really provide that. It’s a great resource, but not quite enough on its own in my opinion. Due to extracurricular constraints, I was the primary provider of academic content for my daughter, so I understand the challenge of providing that back and forth learning process. Her father and I have learned and relearned a tremendous amount of information over that past four years. If you plan to continue homeschooling, I urge you to find a way to provide a more interactive academic environment, whether that is taking a more active role yourself or finding an outside resource such as a tutor or co-op.
Her SAT score is above average. It will be no impediment to finding a good college where she can excel. It is reasonable to do some more practice and studying to improve it, but neither of you should be especially upset by it.
I will also say that anxiety seems to be a possible problem and the constant internet access is likely contributing. At various times we have limited wifi access or blocked specific sites that seemed to feed our daughter’s anxiety. We always talked with her about how it was affecting her from our perspective and sought her input, but we did establish some boundaries and worked with her on self monitoring and handling stress and anxiety.
1200 is not a bad SAT score.
My daughter took the SAT in spring of her sophomore year, and got 1200.
My daughter took the SAT again in spring of her junior year, and got 1200.
My daughter ended up being accepted to great colleges and graduated from college at the top of her class. She just is one of those people who doesn’t do particularly well on standardized tests.
But I also question the choice of homeschooling if the goal is elite college admissions. There are a lot of benefits that students get from the give and take in a classroom and the support of good teachers. It simply isn’t fair or reasonable to expect a high school student to be able to get to the same point through a self-study approach. There is no one around to guide or to challenge.
So either this student & parent need to readjust goals or to reconsider the idea that the student is going to get her education sitting alone at home looking at a computer screen.
If the local public high school is not a good option - for whatever reason – then perhaps the best plan would be to complete the high school requirements and go directly to community college.
If the student really wants to be competitive for a 4 year college – then a better approach might be to return to high school and take advantage of the resources offered by the school, with the hope that the student will be in a better position down the line with a more structured educational setting.
Are you sure she wanted to homeschool soley for more AP tests? Are you sure she’s not dealing with anxiety, depression, fear of failing in school, social problems… all sorts of things that could make a kid want to run away? I have no qualms with homeschoolers but like, I’d want to be sure of the reasoning.
A 1200 is just under the 80th percentile for graduating seniors. Why would you thinknits a bad sophomore result? I’d be way more worried about the pot.
Colleges don’t penalize you for courses the high school doesn’t offer. So if the high school offers two, then she can take two and still be doing the “most rigorous” curriculum.
If the early start was a problem, it is possible to do partial day homeschooling, so she could get up at a reasonable hour. Especially for a kid who has done so many credits.
Many top schools are test-optional or don’t emphasize them: http://fairtest.org/university/optional
It sounds to me like this daughter should not be homeschooling. “Self-study” doesn’t work for many. I hope you have enough influence to encourage her back to school. Isolation is not good, nor is the expectation that she can motivate herself all the time.
What are her interests other than the sports?
She could clearly benefit from counseling. Based on experience, I would strongly suggest you also get a therapist for this situation.
I’m not going to comment on the rest of it. I just want to quickly jump in with a thought about the regents. Many kids who are extremely bright and do very well in class get poor regents grades because the classes don’t always teach to the test. I’m not sure what regents exam she got the low grade on, but math is notorious for being a difficult one. My daughter, who is very bright – high GPA, 34 ACT, whized through pre-calc, lots of AP classes, got about a 78 on the math regents.
I know there is a lot going on here, but I think that you may be putting too much pressure on these test results. They alone don’t necessarily indicate a problem.
Have you ever had your daughter tested for a learning disability? Someone could compensate with classwork but struggle on standardized tests. The pot could be a form of self medication. Also my child with adhd studies better with music in the background.
Hi everybody. Sorry for late response! I had to finish a course test myself before the deadline.
I got a lot of helpful suggestions.
My daughter wanted to homeschool herself because we thought that more Ap tests are required for a chance to a better college. She definitely has no learning disability, it would have shown up by now. She does seem to me unnecessarily anxious. So the first thing we will do is therapy.
When we homeschooled this year, she is not stuck at home with me all week. She dances 7 hours a week, and has friends there, she kept all her friends from 9 and 10 grade from school and has great relationships with them. And she sings a choir , she has a friend there too. We did not meet with any homeschool group this, but it looked like she did not need more friends, jut more time with them perhaps.
I do not know if homeschooling is for her: she is very responsible and I could trust her to do her work and not ply video games. However, the phone has to go, good suggestion. My concern is that I am not sure if she is grasping the material. So we will work on that. And if it does not improve she will have to go back to school. She just took SAT subject tests, she prepared for them, and I guess they and AP test will show how she is doing.
She tells me that she is not that stressed during the test he nI asked her. ut from my personal experience, smoothies when you are stressed on a test you do not even realize how much stressed you are. And stress during the test would affect the result.
Sorry, didn’t mean to confuse you. My daughter right now is in 11th grade, so she is a junior. We most probably would be taking an academically oriented gap year, that is she will be studying and/or volunteering.
I really like the suggestion about the cell pnoe use. I will if I have to, but I do not want to control her cell phone usage.If she is looking for distractions, she will find them anywhere. I think we will have a couple of conversations about distractions and maturity.
It sounds like you’d like her to have a year off between junior and senior year (do I have that right?), but have you checked out the laws in your state and your district’s policies surrounding school attendance? Most states won’t let a kid just take a year off in the middle of school and many public school systems don’t allow redshirting of a high school kid who’s not failing.
The good but not stellar SAT score may actually be an indicator that she’s currently working to capacity, IOW, that she’s punching above her weight in her academics. It sounds like she’s under a lot of pressure both from you and herself. The focus on getting into a “good” college concerns me because that has to be putting a lot of pressure on her to perform. Sometimes as a parent our job is to take our foot off the pedal. From your description she’s already a responsible kid who’s doing her best. Further restrictions, other than gently suggesting the phone not be with her during work hours, aren’t productive. Anxiety does make it hard to absorb materials. You might want to consider taking things in a different direction-instead of focussing on her results, reassuring her that no matter what those results are there will be a great school for her.
As for the pot, some kid use it as a way to manage anxiety. I don’t know your daughter, but I would consider that it might be a symptom of a problem, not a cause. Lower the temp and she might not feel the need to self-medicate. I also like the suggestion of therapy. Make sure you frame it as a tool to help her manage her anxiety, not as a punishment for the pot or for not performing up to expectations.
“My daughter wanted to homeschool herself because we thought that more Ap tests are required for a chance to a better college.”
Sorry, but this is one of the most misguided statements I have ever run into on this forum.
First, as I said before, colleges will not penalize students when their schools do not offer adequate AP’s/
Second, there are so many ways to achieve this same goal while staying in school.
This is NOT a good reason to homeschool. There must be other reasons. If not, then she should go back to school.
I homeschooled each of my three at different times, for short periods of time (6 months at most). So I am not against homeschooling-just want to clarify that. And taking a break from school to homeschool can be incredibly helpful at times.
But this motivation just doesn’t make sense, sorry.
It’s great that she does have activities and a social life.
ps want to say again that many tippy top colleges (including little Ivies) don’t require or emphasize scores…your daughter’s 1200 on first take isn’t bad but to reduce stress, have her look at the Fairtest list I linked on an earlier post
Compmom’s suggestion to look at the Fairtest list is good. Even if she doesn’t end up applying to any test-optional schools knowing there are some top-notch schools on the list may help ease her anxiety.
Yet the title of this thread is Problems with my DD sophomore. I’m still confused.
Depending on which state the OP resides, it may not be possible to go back to the public school unless her D plans to repeat her homeschooling year since many states will not accept course credits obtained while homeschooling.
Also, many colleges that are test optional are not test optional for homeschoolers - homeschoolers must submit standardized test score
You said your daughter is doing well on her end of chapter tests and scored a 1200 on her practice SAT. How does any of this translate into “giving (you) hell”? A 1200, especially as a sophomore, is a good score. I agree smoking pot isn’t great, but she seems to be under a lot of unnecessary pressure. I think counseling for both of you is a good idea.
Doing well on coursework and underperforming on exams can be a sign of a learning disorder. Needing to listen to music while she studies might be too. My dyslexic, dysgraphic, dyscalculic daughter also listens to music when she studies. I don’t understand why it helps, but it’s become clear to me over the years that it does. You may want to consider having your daughter tested for learning and anxiety disorders.
You mention Regents exams. Are you in NYS? We’re longtime NYS homeschoolers and our laws don’t permit gap years during high school.
I think you need to love the kid on the couch. No kid is “perfect” and it’s unrealistic to expect them to be.
The descriptions given are utterly confusing.
Is the student completing 11th grade and about to be a rising sr or completing 10th and a rising Jr?
What did she use for school? Was she enrolled in an online school? Was she home alone during the day? Who decided what school work needed to be completed? Deadlines? Graded?
Fwiw, I have been homeschooling for almost 25 yrs and homeschooling for us has never meant my kids are by themselves in their bedrooms alone all day long. They aren’t on their own. I have legally accepted the responsibility of being their primary teacher. In terms of choosing an accredited AP provider, that absolutely does not matter unless it matters to NYS. ( I do not know anything about NYS law.)I have been my kids’ primary teacher for the vast majority of their subjects. No online class. No outsourced teacher. They have completed their courses at home under my direct supervision. (We spend our school days together. No one is ever allowed in their bedrooms to do school.) That approach has never been a problem and my kids have been accepted to every school they have applied to except for 1.
Homeschooling does not mean unleashing a kid to be 100% individually responsible for their education. That is an unfair amt of responsibility for any young person. Being alone in their room with a computer and a telephone just increases the burden of self-regulation and temptation. Most students have teachers interacting with them. If I understand the scenario correctly, the child was put in an unenviable position.