Problems with Non-custodial parent...

<p>I have a rather big problem with the upcoming need for the css PROFILE/QB forms. </p>

<p>I've explained to the teachers who're reccomending me, but my meeting with my counselor has been pushed back twice so far, so I haven't gotten this sorten out yet. </p>

<p>Right now, my Dad (Non-custodial parent) and I don't talk much, or often. I am not on good terms with him for several reasons. As it stands, I know I should have to have him fill out another form for the PROFILE, but I desperately want a waiver. My Dad may or may not be re-married (He refuses to tell us; and ignores the subject when it has come up, Although I know he and his 'girlfriend' share bank accounts, and living space, and my younger brother announced 'Daddy is married'.) and has always joked that he 'won't have to pay for my financial aid' since my parents divorced (The comments were made a few years ago.). </p>

<p>Further more, my dad has said in the past (before he began living with another woman, and supporting her and her daughter.) that he'd only pay a set amount to me after I turn 18. I know that this is <em>not</em> how Financial aid works-- if they decide he can pay more, and he doesn't, I'll have no back up. I also know that if he pays me any money at all, It will take away from my mother's alimony (which is how she pays the mortgage.) </p>

<p>My dad is not a reliable person- he has several issues he has not worked out (habitual drinking for example.) and I don't trust him to fill out the applications if he's lying to me in person. (Since he won't clarify, I assume he truly is married.) Is it possible for me to prevent my family from being forced to move from our house by getting a waiver? Many, if not most of the colleges explain waivers are usually only used if you haven't had contact with your non-custodial parent in years- but that isn't true for me. </p>

<p>Is my situation enough for a waiver, or am I essentially screwed because I've been forced to keep in contact? Should I exaggerate contact (or recent lack-thereof?)</p>

<p>By contact, the schools mean whether you know where the parent is, and more importantly, whether they have paid child support. I’m assuming yours does as he pays alimony, and you clearly know where he is.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, many kids have a parent who does not want to pay for school. No way any school is going to give you a waiver, so look at schools you can afford without his help.</p>

<p>George Washington does NOT require non-custodial parent information, just FYI.</p>

<p>I agree with hmom5. It’s a situation that really isn’t fair to kids whose parents have money but won’t pay for college but I’ve never heard of any way around it.</p>

<p>“I know that this is <em>not</em> how Financial aid works-- if they decide he can pay more, and he doesn’t, I’ll have no back up.”</p>

<p>Actually you don’t understand how financial aid work. The forms give the financial aid office information - they don’t care who writes the check. They don’t decide who pays anything. They just determine, according to their own formula, YOUR “ability to pay.”</p>

<p>You can indicate on the profile that you don’t know where he is, and that might be the end of it.</p>

<p>My custodial ability to pay is almost nothing. We make about $30,000. My father makes a lot more than this. [So when I say I’ll have no back up, I mean, I won’t have any other option but to take out extremely high loans.] It’s not simply that he just doesn’t want to pay, its that even if he does pay, my family loses all alimony. We’ll be forced out of our house because we won’t be able to pay without that. </p>

<p>I honestly can’t afford any schools without financial aid, so looking at Schools where I ‘don’t need any’ is pretty much out of the question. I know the city he lives in, but I don’t have his address…so the ‘knows where he is thing’ is sort of misleading.</p>

<p>I <em>am</em> considering GWU highly-- but my chances of getting in aren’t super high. If that is true, that’s good news, however.</p>

<p>I am puzzled. What does his paying or not paying financial aid have to do with alimony? Alimony is a completely separate thing from college. If the courts have said he must pay a certain amount in Alimony he cannot stop paying it or reduce it just because he agrees to pay for college. Now child support for you will probably stop at 18. But that is child support, not alimony.</p>

<p>It sounds like you need to make sure to include some FAFSA only schools on your school list. They will only require your Mom’s financial information.</p>

<p>Alimony is court ordered, your dad can’t stop paying it for any reason. The government would take it out of his paycheck and tax return if they need to.</p>

<p>You need to do what many need to do–apply to FAFSA only school which will only consider your mom’s ability to pay if your dad (and his new wife if she has a job and assets) is not willing to help. Your state schools may be your best option.</p>

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<p>That is of course a lie, and one that would not work as they will see from his/her mother’s tax returns that alimony/child support has been paid so they are in “contact” with the father.</p>

<p>Yurtle – keep your chin up. We all feel for you and your situation. It sounds like you’ll have to do this without your Dad’s help but it can be done. Another avenue besides the excellent suggestions of FAFSA only schools would be to look at schools that award scholarships based on merit.</p>

<p>I’m sorry, we use the terms alimony and child support interchangeably here. [Or at least, the majority of people <em>I</em> know do.] That doesn’t mean my use of the term is correct, I’m just saying…I’m used to hearing the terms used quite differently. </p>

<p>Er, apologies for confusion. </p>

<p>I honestly abhor the state flagships. Are there other colleges that aren’t ASU/UofA/NAU available to me? Right now, in place of the state schools, Hollins in VA is my “safety” (which I don’t think requires the profile…) </p>

<p>But the other schools I want to go to all seem to require it.</p>

<p>_</p>

<p>Pea- that would be lovely, but I’m no HYPS wannabe. I’m a ‘regular’ in the CC world. I doubt my B average will get me that much merit aid. But thanks. ^_^</p>

<p>I’m not sure why you say you “abhor” the state flagships. But sometimes you simply can’t afford a new Mustang and have to drive a used Focus. Each will still get you back and forth to work.</p>

<p>Sometimes, that’s how you have to look at college. Get the education you can afford, and then WORK HARD to differentiate yourself from others and make your own success. The school’s name on the degree is no guarantee of success.</p>

<p>Yurtle, just because a school only uses FAFSA, it doesn’t mean it will meet your financial need. I’m not sure whether Rollins meets need or not, but it can’t be a safety unless it does. </p>

<p>Merit aid schools may be your best alternative if your stats are strong.</p>

<p>

Well, to be blunt and not meaning to be unkind, you just need to get over it.</p>

<p>Hollins, not Rollins. I honestly don’t know where Rollins even is. My Aunt and Uncle both attended Hollins [My uncle as a grad student] and they live in Roanoke, which is why it’s on my list.</p>

<p>_
MsMayor- The state schools have notorious reputations for being party schools. My best friend recently pointed out that the reputations as they stood was that “U of A is for the crack addicts, NAU for the potheads, and ASU for the alcoholics.” I can’t for sure say anything about U of A, but I <em>can</em> say she is certainly on target for ASU and NAU. Furthermore, I want to attend a smaller school- I can’t handle the 20,000+ students at each of our state schools. </p>

<p>I’m not a partier, or a druggie and while I realize not everyone who goes to our schools <em>is</em> it is still a very large scene. Even worse, Tempe has a high rate of sexual harassment and/or date rape. I’m not interested in the environment, nor most of the academics [Perhaps ASU’s honors college…]. None of these schools really have what I want- a small LAC, hopefully somewhere colder, and in a safer environment. I don’t think I’d do well in classes of 300.</p>

<p>Sorry, never heard of Hollins but I looked it up. It is not a school that meets need and it costs about $40K. They did not report the average need met to College Board but schools of this caliber (not large endowment) are unlikely to meet your need.</p>

<p>I’m afraid I agree with Swimcatsmom, learn to at least like one of your state schools, depending on your stats, it may be the best option. The unfortunate fact is that if your dad really won’t participate, it will limit LAC options unless you have wildly good stats for big merit aid.</p>

<p>I’m going to keep State school as a last resort. </p>

<p>I’m looking up colleges right now that don’t require the PROFILE-- Hopefully, this list will help me: <a href=“https://profileonline.collegeboard.com/prf/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet.srv[/url]”>https://profileonline.collegeboard.com/prf/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet.srv&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Knox College and Cornell College [in IA] were already on my list, so hopefully, I can consider those-- at least as on my list.</p>

<p>What you need to be looking for is schools that are FAFSA only AND meet need. You won’t find many, if any.</p>

<p>Good grief, it is a generalization to characterize a large state school since all kinds of kids go to Arizona, NAU and Arizona State. NAU is in Flagstaff - cooler, smaller and definitely not full of pot heads, druggies and rapists, guaranteed tuition for 4 years and you can caluculate your tuition discounts based on your ACT/SAT and grade point average. Regardless…you should also be researching WUE schools. Ft. Lewis for instance in Colorado is a small public liberal arts college that loves B students and participates in WUE. There are others.</p>

<p>Sorry Momofthree boys- but I’d hate to tell my friend that. She’s going to NAU for the pot scene. (It doesn’t help that her boyfriend is there, and <em>is</em> a bit of a pothead.)</p>

<p>I will check out the WUE though, thank you.</p>

<p>Well Yurtle, then good luck on your quest. If you’re that opposed to your state flagships, then your best bet may be two years of community college to allow you to save on tuition now and perhaps afford the final two years at one of the smaller LAC’s you covet.</p>

<p>You mentioned yourself that you are a B-student. Now there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a B-student, but schools that are willing to offer the kind of ‘free’ aid you believe you need aren’t all that generous. They’re more than happy to offer you loans, but that’s not always the smartest way to get what you want.</p>