Proofread my essay please.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

I have faced countless challenges in my life and with overcoming them, they have shaped me to become the individual that I am today. One of the most significant hardships that I have encountered was emigrating from my country, which is the Philippines to the U.S. My dad is a Filipino immigrant; he came to America with hopes for a better life for himself, but mostly for his children. Hearing the news from my parents that we are soon leaving for U.S made me realize that I am about to forsake everything behind me including my closest friends, classmates that you have shared your secrets with, relatives, and even pets. As soon as I stepped on the plane, I knew I that I am about to face a completely new environment - one that I am not used to and is foreign to me, and a secured future not only for myself but for my whole family as well. I realized how different the weather, people, and landscape was in this new background compared to the place I had always called home, and adapting to a new environment was not easy, but with the advanced technology nowadays, communicating with our loved ones has never been easier.

And please give me tips on how to improve this. And be harsh as needed. :smiley:

It is not a good idea to put your essay on a forum for everybody to read and copy if they wanted to. That being said you asked for a honest opinion so here you go: your essay is not good, it is very cliche and boring and an example on how NOT to write an essay.
If you really want to use the immigrant story ( I highly advise against it), at least try to really suck the reader into your story from the beginning. Do not explain the circumstances, describe them. Write about a specific moment, not a general subject. just an example, don’t use this: “As the airplane door closed with a loud noise, I realized…”

Think about how your immigrant story will be different from thousands of immigrant stories admission officers had to read through. Does your essay really say anything about you? No it doesn’t. And I am not trying to be mean, I am just trying to help. In my opinion you should try to find a different subject. Don’t take the essay prompt to literal. It doesn’t have to be a big hardship you faced, for example my daughter wrote about a video game (she got into MIT, so the obviously liked it).