Proofreading, Opinions, Etc. on my essay please?

I’m new to this website. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to critique my common app essay to the following prompt:

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Thank you!! :slight_smile: <3

I’ll help you!

PM me!!

ill read it!